Much More Than a Fairy Tale
by Lia06
Summary: Modernized Persuasion: At the age of 19, Anna Eliot refused Alex Wentworth’s marriage proposal. Eight years later, he’s back in her life and she’s not sure she knows what to do about anything anymore. CH 14 REPOSTED
1. Prologue:Dream as if you'll live forever

A/N: This is my attempt at a modernization of Jane Austen's masterpiece, Persuasion. I hope you enjoy it. I do not own the plot and I've adapted most of the characters' names to suit modern society. Jane was much more brilliant than I will ever be. The title was inspired by an Audrey Hepburn quotation: "My own life has been much more than a fairy tale. I've had my share of difficult moments, but whatever difficulties I've gone through, I've always gotten a prize at the end." Anna will be narrating much of the story except on the rare occasion when Alex inserts his nose.

Title: Much More Than a Fairy Tale

Author: Lia06

Summary: At the age of 19, Anna Eliot refused Alex Wentworth's marriage proposal. Eight years later, he's back in her life and she's not sure she knows what to do about anything anymore.

"_My own life has been much more than a fairy tale. I've had my share of difficult moments, but whatever difficulties I've gone through, I've always gotten a prize at the end." –Audrey Hepburn_

**Prologue: Dream as if you'll live forever…**

"_Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." –James Dean_

My mother died when I was twelve. But before she died, she told me that if I was ever in any need of motherly advice to ask Sarah Russell, my godmother and my mother's best friend. Mom trusted Sarah implicitly and she told me that she wanted us to do the same. But my then fourteen-year-old sister, Liz, disliked Sarah because my sister wanted to be the next Julia Roberts but Sarah was one of those actresses who were perfectly content to remain on stage and never even contemplate a jump to the silver screen. And ten-year-old Maya was too wrapped up in her own grief and sorrow to even consider the possibility of anyone as a surrogate mother or as a mother-figure. So I became the only Eliot girl who would ever even think of asking Sarah Russell for help. In fact, by the time I was 18, I trusted Sarah and her advice above all of my friends who were my own age. Was this a little weird? Yes, it was really weird and it was probably a little twisted especially considering that this is the woman who told me to break up with the love of my life and the most amazing guy I've ever met because he was "too poor and anyways, Anna, you're far too young to know if he's The One or not. Just grow up and you'll meet someone who will be better for you."

So at the age of nineteen, I broke up with Alexander James Wentworth, who was gorgeous, amazingly intelligent, a real gentleman, and someone who was definitely not the wealthiest person ever born. But he was a good guy. Alex and I met in Intro to Psychology our freshman year at the UC-Berkley. I noticed him because he had this amazing dark brown hair. He noticed me because I was the only girl who wasn't sitting there drooling over him and his amazing hair. And why wasn't I drooling over his amazing hair? That would be because I was too busy paying attention to the class. I was a bookworm and a Good Girl; I always did what I was supposed to do. If my father or one of my sisters asked me to do something, I did it because I always put other people's happiness above my own. I liked to make other people happy as much as I could. I'd always been a bit of a people pleaser as a child but after my mom died, I really went overboard. I just put myself second and put other people's needs and wants first.

Alex noticed this about me almost immediately and I can't stay that he approved of this particular "personality quirk." He kept telling me that I was a person and I needed to look out for myself. "It's all well and good to be selfless and help others but you have to make sure that you don't kill yourself along the way. You have to take time to treat yourself and enjoy life."

As usual, I ignored him because, like most people, I don't enjoy having my faults pointed out to me. I knew I wasn't perfect but I tried to be as good as possible. I liked making people happy. So we worked with each other's quirks and he did help me start to do some things that I wanted to do. For example, I started college wanting to be a doctor but I quickly changed my major to what I really wanted out of life. Since I was five years old, I'd known that I wanted to be a teacher. But I knew I'd make more money and would be able to do more good for my family if I became a doctor. My family needed money and I was determined to help them out in that area as much as possible. But Alex was right; I was born to be an elementary school teacher and I'd have died as a doctor. So I changed my major and set myself up for a life without medical malpractice suits. My father was broken-hearted because it would look so good on his resume if people saw that he had a doctor for a daughter. But once I graduated and started teaching in an intercity school district in Los Angeles, he realized that it would look good for him to admit that his daughter was teaching to preserve and protect the future of American education.

This brings me to my family. My dad is Wally Eliot; his full name is Walter Jameson Eliot but he prefers Wally because it makes him feel "youthful and vibrant," as he once told a magazine reporter who was writing a profile on my father's "fascinating career." Maybe you've heard of him; you might have seen one of his movies. When he was younger, my dad was the star of at least a dozen romantic comedies. He also attempted westerns and action flicks but he just couldn't pull those types of roles off. Even now, at the age of 65, he's still in movies, but mostly of the made-for-TV or straight-to-video/DVD variety. But he still thinks he's one of the greatest actors ever born. He keeps all of his acting awards on our mantel. In some houses, you'll see pictures of the people who live there, but not in our house; in house, you'll simply find a million reminders of my father's glory days. He also seems to believe that he is still a prime candidate for People's "Sexiest Man Alive" despite the fact that he's about thirty years older than the average recipient of that title. He lives in a world of delusions, a castle in the air of his own making.

My mother, Charlotte Elizabeth Radcliffe-Eliot, died of ovarian cancer fifteen years ago, in 1993. I was twelve and it broke my heart. I really don't have very much in common with my father; I'm more reserved and my mother was the only person in our family I was really close to or to whom I could really relate. My mother was a writer; she dappled in screenplays but her real love was for books. She always wrote about strong women who determined their own fates and didn't let the men in their lives control every aspect of their lives. Her heroines always had great careers but very full personal lives as well. I think a lot of her books, especially her later books, were back-handed insults of my dad and the life they had together. Her life was dictated by his and she hated it. She hated that if he was in Prague on a movie shoot, she couldn't just run off on a promotional tour for her latest book because someone had to stay with her daughters and raise them. In fact, I'm almost positive that if she'd lived, she would have divorced him after my younger sister, Maya, graduated from high school. Of course, Maya was about ten when Mom died, so she would have been married to Dad for another eight years. But that's neither here nor there, since she is dead, unfortunately. Mom never had much say in her own life despite her extremely successful literary career. She was born the daughter of Winston and Elizabeth Radcliffe of Boston and was raised in the world of high society. At the age of twenty-two, she married my father who was young, handsome, and knew how to manipulate words. A year and a half later, she gave birth to her first child and published her first book two months after that. Her life as Wally Eliot's wife was settled by Elizabeth's birth and her book, Fortune and Truth, made her an overnight literary success. She wrote ten more books before dying at the age of thirty-seven. Liz once joked that our mother had learned the lesson of James Dean; if you want to live forever, die young.

I also have two sisters; I'm the middle child, which Alex always said accounted for some of the weirdness in my relationship with my family. In all honesty, I think Alex blamed my family, especially my dad and my sister, Liz, for a lot of my personality quirks. Liz is my older sister; her full name is Elizabeth Rose Eliot and she's named after my grandmother Radcliffe, a very proper woman of Boston high society. Liz is not cut from the same cloth as Grandmother Radcliffe however much she might try to act like a lady of high society. Liz wants to be an actress; she's convinced that she's going to be the next Julia Roberts. The problem is that my sister is twenty-nine and it's hard to be the next Julia Roberts when you're twenty-nine. She's been in a few made for TV movies and every now and then she'll get a bit part in some movie or TV show; but she's never going to be the kind of celebrity she wants to be. Liz has long straight blonde hair, but the only thing that's natural about that look is the fact that it's long. Her blue eyes are natural, which I guess is usually pretty obvious; it's possible to change your eye color with contact but if you're going for the America's Sweetheart look, it's easier to keep her baby blues the way God gave them to you.

My younger sister has accomplished a bit more with life than Liz has. Maya Regina Eliot-Musgrove married Kevin Charles Musgrove at the age of 21 and was now the mother of two little boys named Joshua and Anthony. The thing you have to understand about Maya is that she was sent off to a boarding school in Switzerland about three weeks after Mom died and wasn't recalled home until the age of 18, at which point she started studying English literature and drama at UCLA. She was caught between a desire to follow in our father's footsteps or perhaps become an author like our mother. But then we met Kevin Musgrove at a charity event that Dad had dragged his daughters to so for the photo opportunity. The event was to raise awareness and funding for ovarian cancer, which is a cause that all of us really do support. But Dad had to make sure that there would be photos of the four of us floating around the world with the caption "Wally Eliot makes an appearance at the Third Annual Dinner for Ovarian Cancer Awareness with his three daughters, Elizabeth, Anna, and Maya. Wally's wife, renowned writer Charlotte Radcliffe-Eliot, died in 1992 of ovarian cancer." Well, the photos made their way around various magazines and newspapers and Dad was thrilled. And we met Kevin; Kevin and I went out on three dates, but in the end we decided not to pursue a relationship because he was convinced that there was another guy who I hadn't gotten over yet. Shortly thereafter, he started dating Maya and they got married in 2003. Joshua was born in 2004 and Anthony was born two years later. And I have to admit that my nephews are real lights in my life.

I've hinted at this a bit already but I'll be blunt about it; my dad has no clue how to manage money. He and Liz spend money like it is water but the thing is that they're starting to run low on that oh-so-precious commodity of life. My dad's lawyer and financial advisor, Tom Shepherd, has tried to explain to them that they simply cannot afford to keep spending money like they do and they need to find a way to either start saving money or make money. Unfortunately, they ignored him for so long that by April of 2008, Tom demanded that they move out of my dad's enormous estate in Malibu and find someplace less expensive to live. His concern was in part due to the fact that his recently divorced daughter, Penny Shepherd-Clay, and her two children had moved in with Wally and Liz, but were living there completely free of charge because Penny was Liz's new best friend. Tom knew that my family could not afford this expense, but he was having trouble getting through to the actors in the family.

So one Saturday in April, Tom arranged an "intervention" of sorts during which he, Sarah Russell, and I met with my dad and sister to "explain things to them," as Tom put it. Wally and Liz resisted us as far as they could, but when Sarah flat-out told them that they would lose the house if they didn't willingly give it up and find someplace else to live, they finally agreed to look for an apartment somewhere less expensive. Tom was going to help them find the apartment while Sarah and I found someone to rent Kellynch, my dad's estate, for a few years while they stabilized their finances. Furthermore, we explained to them that if Penny and her offspring were going to continue to live with them, Penny needed to start contributing towards basic household expenses. My mom had taken care of financial matters when she was alive, and after her death, Sarah and Tom had taken care of the family. When I graduated from college and got my own job, I got my own apartment closer to the school where I worked and asked Tom and Sarah to teach me how to manage my own finances. Five years later, and I was an independent woman with a solid stock portfolio and almost no social life.

But at least I was financially stable. How many twenty-seven-year-olds who teach first grade can claim that? But I'd invested my money wisely and spent carefully; I'd have a nice nest egg to retire on some day in the far distant future. Alex wouldn't be happy with me if he knew how I was living my life. He'd probably tease me into next week about it. He always said that I was too cautious about life and I needed to take more risks. But I always resisted him; maybe that's why I let him slip through my fingers. Maybe that's why I hold all men at an arm's length; I'm afraid of taking risks and going outside my comfort zone. Maybe I should see a therapist about this. I had a professor in college tell me once that based on what she knew of my family's history, she thought we all might benefit from some psychological counseling. She was probably right, but we'd never do it. We weren't that close as a family or that interested in maintaining any sense of family to actually open up our souls to anyone outside of our family. Wally and Liz needed each other and I made an effort to see them out of a sense of duty to Mom, but they didn't see the importance of maintaining relationships with Maya or me for anything other than social reasons. Maya wasn't very close to anyone in the family after the whole business of being shipped off to boarding school at the age of ten. But for some reason, she'd decided that she liked me and wanted to keep me around in her life. I think it had something to do with the fact that I could actually get along with Kevin and his family. And I could handle her children. I spent much of my free time at Kevin and Maya's house playing with my young nephews or at Kevin's parents' house spending time with his family. Not that I minded; the Musgroves are a warm, welcoming family. In fact, once the school year ended and Wally and Liz had moved, I was going to spend a few weeks with Maya and her family.

Three weeks after our "intervention," Wally and Liz moved to New York City to live in an apartment a friend of Wally's had given them a lead on. As it happened, Wally was starting production on a new movie called _Christmas Dreams_ in July, and production was taking place in NYC, so everything was working out perfectly for him. Liz was going to be shooting a couple of commercials and I was pretty sure she and Penny would find plenty of people to shop and party with. Wally would keep busy with work and criticizing the people around him. Yes, I do call my dad "Wally." I've never had much of a father-daughter relationship with him and when I was fourteen or fifteen, we mutually decided that it would be easier for him if Liz and I just called him "Wally" because he didn't like being called "Dad." Apparently "Dad" makes him feel old, but he's more comfortable with his daughters calling him Wally. Whatever…he tells everyone including Josh and Tony, his grandsons, to call him Wally. I think he just doesn't want to age or at least, he doesn't want to admit that he's getting older.

A week after Wally and Liz moved Sarah and I found someone to rent the house from us. Kellynch's new residents were Admiral Harrison Croft, a recently retired naval officer, and his wife Sophia. Apparently, Sophia Croft was a writer; I'd only heard of one of her books, I'd read Under a Distant Moon and it was a pretty good book. It was a story about two people who loved each other but were separated by distance and their families' differing ideas of what love is. In all honesty, it reminded me of my mom in a lot of ways; I think that was mostly because Sophia Croft had a very blunt way of stating things, like my mom. The book also reminded me of Alex Wentworth because the male hero of the story lived in Greece and Alex was half-Greek. He'd actually lived in Greece for a while when he was younger because his mom was born there and wanted to give her children the opportunity to experience her native country.

We were leaving most of the furniture in the house and all of the books were staying there except the ones I wanted. Wally and Liz had taken all their movies but they didn't care about the books, not even the ones Mom had written. I had copies of all her books, so I didn't take them from the house, but it was still sad to leave them behind for strangers. As I walked out of the house the day before the Crofts moved in, a book sitting on the coffee table caught my eye; it was Mom's last book, Flight of Dreams. I picked the book up and opened it. The book was dedicated to "My darling Anna Clarissa, I named the heroine after you. Just remember what James Dean said." And underneath that was the quotation "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." As I put the book down, I realized that message was a challenge from my mother. She'd died just before Flight of Dreams was published, but that quotation had been her motto throughout her life, especially when she was dying. And I'd been ignoring that message and avoiding risks and dreams for the past fifteen years because I was afraid.

I went home and packed my bags to go stay with my sister for a few weeks. The hypochondriac Maya was sick again and wanted me to take care of her and her family while she was sick. I was just looking forward to using her swimming pool and playing with my nephews. And then, I was going to reread Flight of Dreams and figure out if I could find a way to finally embrace my mother's legacy and overcome my fears.

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think I hope you like it.


	2. I pretended to be somebody

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. I hope you enjoy the story though.

**Chapter One: I pretended to be somebody…**

"_I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me." –Cary Grant_

Before going to Maya's house, I spent a week with Sarah Russell before she left to spend the summer on Martha's Vineyard. Her house was peaceful and relaxing, a good quick vacation from my classroom and my family. From the minute I walked into Maya and Kevin's house, I was expected to be fixing things and solving all of my younger sister's problems. Maya is a hypochondriac because that got her attention when she was in boarding school and there's a part of her that's still a ten-year-old girl whose mother just died. She's very needy and clingy; she's always been that way even before Mom died. But she also has trouble accepting responsibility for things. So whenever she could, she shoved her children off on me. I love children especially Josh and Tony. So when I walked into her house, I wasn't surprised to hear, "Anna, after you put your things in your room, can you go grab Tony? He should be just waking up from his nap and I just can't handle him right now. I'm so exhausted and my migraines are killing me."

"Of course," I told her quickly before hurrying up to Maya's guest bedroom and my little nephew. I could hear Tony screaming for Maya and I sighed; I knew that Maya didn't have a migraine. She was always exaggerating things like that for attention. Her head might be bothering her and she might be tired, but she's never had a migraine. I've had migraines since I was eleven years old and nothing my little sister has ever had approaches the pain of migraines. It's funny; she's a hypochondriac but I'm the one who actually has "bad health." I have migraines, I'm lactose-intolerant, which really isn't a big deal, I'm anemic, and I get the world's worst menstrual cramps. But if Maya gets a paper cut, she thinks she's going to bleed to death. It's actually very interesting having a melodramatic hypochondriac for a sister. I can't imagine what it's like to be married to her or be her child. My mother was always attentive to us when we were small. Even if she was in the midst of writing she'd still pay attention to us. She almost never shoved us off on nannies or babysitters. But my nephews bounced from Grandma Musgrove to varied aunts such as Marietta and Gretchen Musgrove or myself. And Maya had also tried the nanny/governess/au pair route a few times, but every single time she always ended up terrified that whoever she hired was going to steal Kevin from her and she'd fire them before they had a chance to do anything.

I threw my suitcase on the floor next to the bed in the guest room and hurried down the hall to Tony's nursery where my fourteen-month-old nephew, Anthony Kevin Musgrove, was standing in his crib howling "Mama" at the top of his little lungs. I picked Tony up and kissed the top of his head. "Are you hungry, Tony?"

My nephew just kept screaming and I sighed. He was wearing a t-shirt that said "Baby Gap" on the chest and shorts that I knew were also from the Gap; Maya could always be trusted to dress him in the best clothes money could buy. The Gap was "playwear" for my nephews; for "dress-up" they wore designer clothes. But she couldn't be trusted to actually take care of her children. That was why I found myself changing Tony's diaper and taking care of giving him his bottle. Maya was a very interesting person. Life in a boarding school with little or no contact with her family had left her unsuited for family life once she and Kevin were married. She didn't know how to cook or clean or even really take care of herself. Boarding school had not prepared her for real life; it had only prepared her for life in an insulated world with nannies and cooks and private jets. Kevin worked in his father's music production company, Musgrove Records, and he did pretty well for himself there; he was good with people, he knew good music when he heard it, and he had a good head for business. But he was twenty-eight years old and he'd only been at Musgrove Records for six years. It was going to take time before he would be able to afford a cook, a nanny, a maid, a chauffer, and a private jet. But my silly sister wanted all of those things and now. Growing up, Wally had given her whatever she wanted. Mom had been a bit stricter with us but that wasn't Wally's style. When faced with a motherless ten-year-old, Wally simply sent her away so someone else could deal with her problems. If Wally had died, Mom would have dealt with the situation very differently. And if Sarah had been allowed to advise my father about the situation, things would have gone differently again. But Walter James Eliot is a free spirit and he does what he wants. He doesn't really take advice from anyone or listen to anyone else's ideas about how he should raise his children.

I was in the kitchen talking to Tony when Josh wandered in looking for a snack. "I'm hungry, Auntie Anna," he whined, grabbing hold of my leg. "I want something to eat but Mommy says it'll spoil my dinner."

It was just after three o'clock and dinner wasn't until six-thirty or seven; there was no way a small snack was going to spoil Josh's dinner. So I gave him some pretzels and then took my nephews to the backyard. I love spending time with Josh and Tony especially moments when I get to have them to myself. Kevin liked to play with them before they went to bed and his younger sisters, Marietta and Gretchen lived nearby and would frequently stop by to play with the little guys, and I was glad that they got to spend time together. But I love my nephews; they're some of the only family I have, so I would always jump at the chance to play with them. In a few minutes, I had them both settled in swings and was pushing them while Tony squealed with delight and Josh yelled, "Higher, higher, Auntie Anna, I want to go higher!"

I gave him an underdog and smiled as he laughed and cried for me to do it "Again, again, please!"

"Not right now, Josh," I told him. "I have to push Tony some too. We don't want him to feel left out."

"Okay, give him some pushes and then give me another dog."

I laughed. "All right, I'll give you another underdog in a couple minutes."

He clapped his hands as I pushed his brother a few more times. We played outside for at least an hour. After the swings, we spent some quality time on the slide and then it was time for the sandbox, Josh's favorite place in the world besides his grandma Musgrove's house. But when I brought the kids inside, Maya was mad because I let her perfect angels get dirty. "And now I'm going to have to give them baths and they'll get me wet and it'll ruin my outfit and my hair. Anna, why did you have to take them outside? This is ruining my day!"

"I'll give them baths," I told her. "We still have time before dinner and I don't mind."

"Kevin just called to tell me that he invited his sisters to dinner, so make sure the boys look nice."

"I'll do my best, but they're always adorable," I told my sister as I dragged her sons upstairs.

"Just put them in nice, clean clothes," my sister yelled as we walked further up the stairs. "I don't understand why Kevin has to invite his sisters over today. It's the hottest night of the year."

If whining was an Olympic sport, Maya would win a gold medal so often that they'd have to retire the category. She whines about everything from her house to the heat to her relationship with Kevin to her kids to her in-laws. She loved whining about things to me; she'd been known to call my cell phone while I was at work and leave me multiple lengthy voice mails complaining about how Kevin and her sons were ruining her life. The other day Tony was the cause of a broken nail and she was in tears over that. I love Maya, but some days she drives me nuts. She hates Kevin's younger sisters, Marietta and Gretchen. If she ever wrote a book, it would probably be about how much she dislikes Marietta and Gretchen.

Kevin is the oldest of seven children spaced over about twenty years. Kevin is twenty-eight. Marietta is twenty-two; she went to college for four years and got a degree in art history. Now she parties until four in the morning only to go home and sleep until two. She tells her parents that she's looking for herself. When she finally wakes up, she goes to work at Starbucks where she's a barista. It helps pay the bills and it convinces her parents that she's actually doing something with her life. I'm not sure how much Charles and Alicia Musgrove actually believe their daughter but that's their problem, not mine.

Gretchen Musgrove is twenty-one and a student at UC-Santa Barbara. However, she is an expert at finding time in her busy schedule to party and socialize like none other. Both Marietta and Gretchen have expertly dyed blonde locks that inspire jealousy in Maya's heart because she was born with the same dark brown hair that my mother had given to all of her daughters. My older sister has no qualms about dying her hair but Maya refuses to dye her hair because she's afraid of hurting her "delicate scalp." Marietta and Gretchen are also always dressed in the peak of fashion, which drives my little sister nuts because apparently her body has yet to recover from giving birth to Josh and Tony. If Maya really wanted to do so, she could have fit into a pair of leggings and looked wonderful. But she doesn't really want to dye her hair or fit into the trendy college-girl clothes; she doesn't know what she really wants. Maya complains because she's unhappy with her life. She married Kevin because he could provide her with security and a safe, comfortable life. She's not sure if she loves him or not, but the fact that he really does love her helps her out a lot. And they have a comfortable life with good friends and he gives her what she wants. She would never leave her children because while they drive her nuts, she does love them.

Kevin, Marietta, and Gretchen have four younger siblings. Benjamin is seventeen, Nick is fourteen, Eva is eleven, and Jonathan is eight. Ben is your typical high school jock. He's extremely athletic and while he has a brain, he doesn't like to use it; Eva says it makes his head hurt too much. Nick is what most kids his age call a nerd; he has pale skin and wears glasses while he spends most of his time in front of a computer or playing video games. He's a good kid, just a little isolated from the rest of the world. Sometimes his mom has to remind him that the real world is not in Call of Duty or Resident Evil. Eva is a spunky, sassy miniature version of her older sisters in looks, but someone who is much more focused on her education than she is on her social life. She's also one of the best people I know to watch old movies with. Mrs. Musgrove, Eva, and I like to get together once a month or so to watch movies with Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly. Jonathan is your typical youngest child of a large wealthy family. He's spoiled and he's used to getting whatever he wants. He is cute but sometimes he just drives me nuts. He's used to getting whatever he wants. Whenever I'm at his parents' house, he always expects me to play with him. And I don't mind it but I do like to do other things besides play with small children.

The Musgroves had a fifth son who died of a drug overdose a few years earlier. AJ had run away from home when he was seventeen; he'd be twenty-five if he were alive now, but he died at the age of twenty-one. His family hadn't seen or heard from him except when he wanted money since the day he walked out the door after telling his parents to "Fuck themselves to fucking hell!" Then one day four years ago, shortly after Maya and Kevin's wedding, Charles and Alicia got a phone call from a hospital in Michigan telling them that their son, Andrew Joseph Musgrove, had died from an overdose of ecstasy and heroin. Since then, AJ had become somewhat of a hero-god to Marietta and Gretchen. They seemed to forget that he had run away from home and become a drug addict. Their memories were completely wiped of the fact that he had died of a drug overdose. AJ was a victim of circumstances and a martyr in a war against the Man. They were desperate for information about their brother's final moments and always full of gratitude for that "dear, sweet doctor who stayed with poor AJ when he was dying." All anyone knew about the "dear, sweet doctor" was that he was a third-year medical student who had stayed after his shift ended to make sure that some poor, homeless boy didn't die alone or unnoticed and that his name was Alex. Of course, there were probably twenty medical students at the University Hospital in Ann Arbor and the likelihood that Gretchen and Marietta would ever be able to find the "saintly Alex" was slim to none.

Gretchen and Marietta came over for dinner that evening full of news of the new residents of Kellynch whom they'd seen while driving past the estate earlier that day. Kellynch is next door to the Musgrove's house but somehow we never met them until Wally's charity ball a few years ago. So the girls stopped by the estate and met the new neighbors. Their names were Harrison and Sophia Croft and she was a writer, which I already knew. "They really want to meet you, Anna," Marietta enthused. "And Sophia's brother is a doctor and he's been working in LA for the past two years and he's going to live with them because it's less expensive than where he lives now. Mom is going to have Harrison and Sophia and Sophia's brother over for dinner next week and you'll all have to come."

"We'll definitely be there," Kevin replied; he's a very easy-going person and always ready to please others. It's amusing to see him married to my sister. She's never happy and he lives to make other people happy. Needless to say, he doesn't make her happy very often. But he does try, which earns him points in my book.

"I saw a picture of Sophia's brother while we were there today," Gretchen announced. "And he looks delicious. He has dark brown hair and gorgeous eyes. He's a doctor and his name is Alex."

Oh Lord, hear we go again. Every single time they hear about a young doctor named Alex they start thinking that it might be the "saintly Alex."

"Maybe he was the medical student in Ann Arbor," Marietta suggested.

"It's possible that he is," Kevin said and his younger sisters both beamed with delight. "But it's also possible that he isn't."

"How can you say that?" Gretchen shrieked. "All we want to know is that poor AJ died peacefully and happily. But you have to be a downer and suggest that maybe Sophia's brother isn't the wonderful resident who was so sweet and stayed with AJ while he was dying."

He died of a drug overdose; the only reason that he didn't die alone on the streets is that the police caught him trying to break into a house and arrested him. I wanted to scream this information at the clueless Musgrove girls, but I resisted the urge knowing that I would be criticized for hating "poor AJ." Kevin didn't look on his little brother as a saint and had once tried to remind his sisters of the true facts of AJ's death but he was basically accused of heresy. I knew better than to try to argue with Marietta and Gretchen over the details of their brother's demise.

The day of the dinner with the Crofts and Sophia's brother dawned with hot and humid. I went over to Kellynch early in the morning to pick up a few things that Sophia had found in the house and she thought I might like to have. "There were so many photographs left in the master bedroom," Sophia told me when she met me at the door. "I was stunned."

"I'm not really surprised," I replied. "My father doesn't like to think about my mother too much. In all honesty, I'd be surprised if he'd taken them with him."

"But these weren't just pictures of your mother," the beautiful young woman told me; Sophia had dark skin and beautiful black hair that was twisted up off her neck, probably a measure against the oppressive humidity that was pervading the area that day. "There were family photos, pictures of you and your sisters. Why would any father leave mementos like those behind?"

"Because he doesn't want to be bothered by memories," I told her.

She smiled and nodded. "I understand. When my father died, my mother refused to look at pictures of him for ages because they reminded her of him. Even looking at my two younger brothers reminded her of them. She used to say that Nick's face was my father's face come back to haunt her."

My father wasn't like that. He didn't think that my face or Maya's face were haunting him with visions of my mother, but I wouldn't tell Sophia that. It's hard to explain Wally to people. His problem is that he doesn't want to think about things other than himself. He'll think about Liz because her priorities coincide with his, but forget Maya or me; our lives don't fit in with his. Maya has the life of a wife and mother; she may not always like that life but she has accepted it. It is her life and she won't let Wally criticize her for the decisions she's made.

"I also noticed that your father left many of his books behind," Sophia added as we walked through the house. "Do you want to take them with you or should we ship them to him?"

I sighed. "The books don't belong to my father or me. They were my mother's. I know that Wally doesn't want them and I can't see Liz or Maya wanting them. Honestly, if I took the books, I would just sell them on Amazon or to a used book store. I'm willing to take them and sell them, but if there are any you want, feel free to take them."

"Your dad doesn't want any of these books? What about the ones your mother wrote? His dead wife wrote these books; why wouldn't he want these books?"

I sighed. "Listen, Sophia, my father does not want any of my mom's books. He doesn't like to read much aside from movie scripts. As far as I know, he's never even read most of my mom's books. He doesn't like memories of her around, so I can't see why he would want the books. I don't want them; I already have copies of all of her books and she wrote notes in the pages of all of my copies. I don't need five copies of every book she ever wrote. My mom died fifteen years ago; I love her but I don't need her ghost haunting me night and day. Also, I'm staying with my sister a few a months and I don't really have the storage space to handle all these things. I suppose I could store them in my apartment."

"Could you please?" she asked eagerly. "I hate to be a bother or put you out, but I just want to have some of my things around here."

"I understand," I replied. "I'll get some boxes together and get these books out of here over the weekend."

"Oh no, you don't have to go through all that trouble. Alex has a couple days off this week. I'll have him pack the books up for you and bring them over to your sister's house for you. Will that work?"

I shrugged. "I suppose so. I could just ask Kevin and Maya if I could keep the boxes in their basement until I move back into my apartment or whatever I'm going to do next."

"What are your other options?" she asked.

"I'm not really sure yet," I told her. "I could keep working where I am now and stay where I am now. I could follow Wally and Liz to New York; I'm pretty sure I could get a job there. I could pretty much do whatever I want. But I know that Maya probably needs me to stay here."

"She has a family here. I've met Mr. and Mrs. Musgrove; I'm sure they could help Maya whenever she needs it."

I shook my head. My younger sister is complicated and if you don't know her, she's hard to understand. I love Maya to death but I've explained her a bit already. She's confusing to most people; I'm not even sure that Kevin understands her. She'll do whatever she can to get attention even if it means taking advantage of her children or her family members.

…and that is how I ended up babysitting Josh and Tony while Kevin and Maya had dinner with his family and the Crofts. When I got back from the Crofts, I found out that Josh had been playing in the backyard and had fallen off the swing-set and broken his collarbone. Maya and Kevin took him to the ER, but he was sent home quickly with directions to keep him well-rested and calm. So they took him home and Maya immediately went to her bedroom. She was emotionally overwhelmed and needed some "me time." So she went to her bedroom, Kevin took a bottle of beer to his office to help him relax, and I took Josh upstairs to his bedroom to relax. Thankfully, he had a TV with a DVD/VCR player in his bedroom. Most of the time I hated that luxury in his life but today it was going to make life easier. I could keep Josh and Tony in his bedroom and we could watch a movie. I could make them dinner, something simple, and we'd just camp out in Josh's room until they fell asleep. Then I'd put them to bed and go watch a movie or read a book. Now, I hadn't been asked to stay with the boys yet and I knew I'd never actually be asked. But Maya would make a big production about how she needed to stay behind and take care of the patient but it just wasn't fair that she never got to have any fun. Then Kevin would give me that look that begs me to just help him out, just this once, and cover for his wife with their kids. And of course, I'd agree to it because I love my sister and my nephews.

Okay, so I'm psychic. I came downstairs from Josh's room around five-thirty; dinner was going to be at six o'clock, but Kevin wanted to be there early. Maya was standing in the living room explaining to him how she desperately wanted to be polite and meet the new neighbors but she just didn't want to leave Josh alone like this. "He's so young and I'm sure he's in pain," she sighed. "But I do want to meet the people who are leasing my father's house."

"Well, then you can go and I'll stay here with Josh and Tony," I told her.

"No, that's silly," Kevin said. "The nanny can stay with them; that's what we were originally planning to do."

"Your wife fired the nanny this morning," I replied coldly. "That's why your son was climbing around the swing-set unattended and why someone has to stay here and take care of the boys tonight. You both want to go and I've already met Sophia Croft, so it's not a big deal. How much attention is her brother or her husband going to pay to me anyway?"

"But I'm Josh's mother," my younger sister whined. "I should be taking care of him."

"Maya," I sighed. "Just go to the Musgroves' house. You know you want to and I really don't mind staying with the boys. No one will miss me."

"I guess you're right," she admitted. "The boys like you anyway. Kiss them for me and have a good evening."

"You too," I said, sighing as they walked out the door.

So I spent my evening watching _Toy Story_ and eating macaroni and cheese, a meal that required a LactAid pill for me, but the little guys love it and that's all that matters. Tony fell asleep long before the movie ended and I put him in his crib once he was out. Josh took a little longer, but the doctors had given him something for the pain that made him tired, so getting him in bed was pretty easy. Then I went to my bedroom and took out Flight of Dreams; it was time to figure out what my mom wanted from me. Maybe she'd use this book to speak to me from beyond the grave.

A/N: I hope you like it. Feel free to criticize. I'm still not sure I like it but we'll go with it. I'm hoping to have Alex show up in the next chapter.


	3. Something Lacking in Your Life

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. I really do appreciate reviews even if it is constructive criticism. I want to know what you think of my story.

**Chapter Three: Something Lacking in Your Life**

"_There are moments when it's too quiet. Particularly late at night or early in the mornings. That's when you know there's something lacking in your life. You just know." –Frank Sinatra_

The next day, I walked downstairs with Josh and Tony to discover Marietta and Gretchen sitting in the breakfast nook eating breakfast with Kevin and Maya. Okay, Kevin was the only one who was really eating, but they were all drinking orange juice and the girls were at least picking at toast. "Oh, Anna," Gretchen said. "You're awake. You missed quite the dinner last night. Alex Wentworth is so funny and amazingly gorgeous."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Alex and the Crofts are lovely people. Hopefully you'll get a chance to meet them in the near future."

"I met Sophia yesterday," I said. "She had called me about some stuff she'd found in the house that she was wondering if I wanted. She's giving me all of the books that Dad left in the house."

"And where are you going to keep all those books?" Maya said, looking up from the piece of toast she'd been ripping up since I entered the room.

"Either in my apartment or in your basement," I replied calmly. I knew that a storm was brewing and that she was going to blow up at any moment. The reason was probably that Kevin hadn't paid enough attention to her the night before or she was angry that Gretchen and Marietta were at her breakfast with her husband. When my sister is mad at her husband, she doesn't like having other people around; she likes having the freedom to just blow up at him. But if there are other people around to blow up, then she takes her wrath out on them. And now I was going to get it because I was the last person to enter the room other than her children and Maya will never yell at her children in front of Kevin or his family.

But she has no problem yelling at me anywhere or everywhere. She once started yelling at me in the middle of the Gap because I disagreed with her about which outfit she should wear to a business luncheon with the wives of some of Kevin's business associates. I told her to wear something more conservative while she wanted to wear something glamorous and showy. She didn't seem to understand that these women were in their forties and they wouldn't be comfortable if she was wearing glitter and sequins from Forever 21. I also threw in that I think she's too old to be shopping at Forever 21 anymore, and then she blew up. Apparently, I might be too old for Forever 21 and be better suited to "the old ladies' clothes" at the Gap and the Limited, but apparently she's still young enough to shop in the juniors' department and wear the same clothes as fifteen-year-old girls. My little sister screamed at me because I can't keep my "goddamn nose" out of her business. The whole scene was vaguely reminiscent of when she was seventeen and she cussed Sarah Russell and me out in the middle of Chicago in front of everyone who might be trying to walk into the Louis Vuitton store on the Magnificent Mile. That was the kind of explosion my sister was headed for that morning at the breakfast table.

Her eyes were glowing like coals as she said, "Those books are not coming into my house. You can keep them in your damn apartment or in some little storage unit thing, but you are not keeping all of Wally's shit in my house. I do not want any of those books in this house."

"Maya, darling," Kevin said coolly, rubbing her hand with his. "Please don't swear in front of the children."

"I'll say whatever I damn well please in front of my kids. They're not just your goddamn kids, Kevin; they're mine too. I don't know if you remember this but I did have to go through labor to bring those brats into the world."

I took the "brats" in question into the kitchen to get some breakfast for them. As I took cereal out of the cupboard, Josh's little voice chirped up. "Auntie Annie, what does damn mean?"

My sister doesn't deserve her kids. They're so good and sweet and innocent. And she swears in front of them. Gretchen and Marietta followed me into the kitchen, presumably to get away from the sounds emanating from the breakfast nook. "Anna, do you think they're going to get a divorce?" Gretchen asked me.

"If Kevin knows what's good for him, he'll grab the kids and run," Marietta told her sister. "She's not stable. No offense, Anna, but your sister is completely nutso."

I sighed. "I've been related to her for twenty-five years. I've noticed that she and I aren't completely sane."

"Listen, can you try to calm her down?" Gretchen asked me. "Kevin is supposed to play golf with Alex Wentworth this morning and I'd hate for Alex to come in while those two are in the middle of a huge fight. Marietta and I will get these little guys their breakfast if you'll diffuse that situation for us."

I gave her a skeptical look that must have conveyed my thoughts that they just wanted me to do this so they could impress this supposed wonder-boy Alex Wentworth.

"Anna, we do want things to look good to Alex, but that's not the thing," Marietta told me firmly. "This is about Kevin and Maya; we're worried about them."

"You just said she was unstable," I reminded her.

The older Musgrove sister sighed. "Yeah, but we have to think about what's good for the kids."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'll handle them but I don't understand what you two want."

"We want Kevin to be happy," Gretchen told me as she took Tony from me. "Just try to keep the peace for a while until Daddy can talk to Kevin and help him figure out what the best route would be."

I went back to the breakfast nook where Kevin and Maya were now screaming at each other. My sister was accusing him of abandoning her and neglecting her. "You don't love me anymore!" she screamed as I walked into the room. "You're just keeping me around because it would look bad if people reported that you divorced Wally Eliot's daughter. I'm the daughter of an actor and you're just a lowly music executive. You don't care about me or the children. You just want to get away from me and start a new life with someone younger and prettier. You just want to be able to say that you're married to Wally Eliot's daughter. Kevin, you don't understand me or love me. You don't understand my illness at all."

Her illness; the only illness she had was hypochondria. I could see the frustration in Kevin's eyes. "You think I don't love you? Good God, Maya, what will it take to get through to you?" He shook his head and ran his hands through his light brown hair as I cleared my throat.

I stepped further into the room and took a deep breath. "I have been sent to remind you that Alex Wentworth will be arriving to play golf with Kevin shortly and you probably won't want to let him know that you've been fighting," I said in my best first-grade teacher voice.

"Who gives a damn about your precious Alex Wentworth? Let him know that my husband is an abusive asshole," Maya replied firmly. "I don't care what he thinks of us."

Oh, but that was a lie; I wouldn't call her on it, but nevertheless it was a lie. She cared more than words what he thought about her. Kevin glared at his wife. "Look, Maya; you can play your games and lie to yourself if you want, but let's get one thing straight. I love you and I love our children."

Just then, I heard Gretchen's voice in the kitchen saying, "He's in the breakfast nook with Maya and Anna, just through that door."

Alex Wentworth was about to come through that door and I was terrified. My sister and her husband were fighting and I hadn't seen the man in eight years, not since I told him I wouldn't marry him. I knew my looks had gone downhill since then and I wondered what he looked like these days.

"Alex is coming," Maya said. "You can go play golf while I take care of our poor son and his broken arm."

"He broken his collarbone, Maya," Kevin replied calmly. "And Anna is here; she can take care of things."

It's funny; people always just assume that I can take care of any situation. They also assume that I want to take care of all of their problems. But I have problems of my own and just as I thought that, one of my problems walked into the room. I slipped to a corner of the room where I would be out of sight.

When we were nineteen-year-olds, Alex Wentworth was the absolutely gorgeous Greek god every girl who saw him immediately desired. Now, at twenty-seven, he was more gorgeous than ever. His black hair was still wavy although now it was a little longer than it had been when we were in college. Then his hair had been shorter but now it was long enough that sometimes it fell into his eyes. He was as tall as ever and more muscular than he'd been in college. In short, he was even better looking than he'd been eight years ago. And I wasn't. In my opinion, my looks had gone downhill since college. My dad had actually told me that on a few occasions. He liked to remind me that Liz was prettier than me. Apparently, people prefer blondes to people with dark brown hair.

Kevin talked to Alex for a few minutes before Maya decided that she was being neglected and she needed to call attention to herself. "Alex, have you met my sister, Anna yet? She was babysitting our little boys last night and was therefore unable to come to dinner."

I stepped out of my corner as this and Alex looked at me. For one brief second in time our eyes met but he quickly looked away. "We've met before," he said briefly. In those three terse words, I knew that I was not forgiven for my actions eight years ago. Of course, I didn't really deserve his forgiveness but that was neither here nor there.

"Anna never mentioned it," Maya said, shooting me an accusing look.

"It was back in college," I replied. "We took a class or two together; it was nothing major."

His eyes briefly flitted to my face and I knew that he was grateful to me for keeping what had passed between us all those years ago a secret. But I also wasn't forgiven. Alex would never forgive me and I was doomed to die an old maid because I would never stop loving him.

Kevin and Alex left the breakfast nook and headed off to play golf. After they left, I found myself entrusted with my nephews again while Marietta and Gretchen rushed off to gossip about something and Maya took to her bed with a "horrible headache that just might kill me." I just love my sister's tendencies towards the dramatic. She goes off thinking that she's dying while I take care of her children. She needs to hire a new nanny, but in the meantime, I get to take care of her little darlings. Maya always claimed to be the perfect mother but she really couldn't stand taking care of her children. She liked the status associated with being a mother but she wasn't actually interested in raising her children.

I spent the morning playing with my nephews. Mostly we played in the sandbox although when they were getting tired closer to lunch, we went inside and played with their building blocks. Maya never came downstairs although occasionally, she would call my cell phone and demand that I do something for her. I must have fluffed her pillows twenty times and brought her fifty classes of water. During one visit, she told me to make sure that Kevin didn't marry a hooker when she died. When I asked her what she was dying of, she laughed. "Don't you know, Anna?" she sighed and pulled the blankets closer to her chin. "I think I have a brain tumor."

So this week she was dying of a brain tumor. When I visited her over Memorial Day weekend, she had septicemia. But then I told her that was blood poisoning and she changed her mind. My sister never has the same disease for more than three or four days at a time. Her brain tumor would soon be replaced by something more dramatic and attention-grabbing. That was the way Maya worked; she lived off attention. She thrived when people were noticing her. She once cried because she hadn't talked to anyone in four hours. I think half the reason she has children is because they'll pay attention to her. But then she ignores them and I take care of them. It really doesn't make much sense.

Two days later, I was babysitting Tony and Josh while Kevin was at work and Maya went shopping with Mrs. Musgrove, Marietta, and Gretchen. Josh was sleeping and Tony and I were watching _Thomas the Tank Engine_, but Tony was getting restless. He started climbing all over me and before I knew it he had wrapped himself around my neck and was pulling my hair. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I tried to pull myself into a standing position but I couldn't. Knowing that the door was unlocked, I just yelled, "Come in! It's open."

And then Alex walked in. "Sophia sent me over with some books from Anna's father's library. Where do you want them?"

I looked up at him and took a deep breath. "Just put them in here and I'll take care of putting them away."

"Good heavens, Anna," he gasped. "Are you all right?"

"Once I get Tony off my neck, I'll be great," I replied, taking a deep breath. My nephew had a firm grip on me and I was starting to have trouble breathing.

Alex put down the box of books in his hands and hurried over to me. "Tony, please let go of your aunt's neck."

"No!" my nephew yelled. "I'm having fun."

"Anthony, I'll give you one last chance. Please let go of your aunt. You're hurting her and it's not good for your arm."

"But I'm sick of sitting still," he protested. "I want to play."

"I'm sure your Aunt Anna will be quite happy to play with you if you let go of her neck," Alex told him. "Now let go or I'll have to pull you off."

"Pull me off," Tony replied fiercely. "I don't want to move."

"All right, have it your way." With that, Alex reached around my neck and disentangled the little boy from me. Suddenly, I felt Alex's gentle fingers probing my neck. "Are you all right, Anna? Does anything hurt?"

"I'll be fine, Alex," I replied hurriedly. "He's a three-year-old boy; how much damage can he do?"

"That's the spirit," he said. "Just keep him calm and let him do simple things that won't bother his collarbone."

"I know," I replied. "We were outside in the sandbox all morning and we're inside resting while Josh takes a nap and Tony refuses to take one."

"I'm too old for naps!" the three-year-old in question protested vehemently from the couch. "Only babies take naps."

I sighed and Alex laughed. "I'll bring the rest of the books in and then take off so I don't distract him anymore. And don't let him kill you."

I smiled and sat back down on the couch next to Tony. Alex brought the rest of the boxes inside, tickled Tony, and then left without another word to me. It was official; he hated me. Not that I shouldn't have expected that; eight years ago, Alex asked me to marry him and I said yes. Then, Sarah talked me out of it. I wrote Alex a nice little note and that was that. I never saw him again.

**Flashback**

I followed Alex into Don Petrelli's. I know this place was far too expensive for him and I would have been perfectly happy to go to the grocery store and pick up the supplies to make dinner at home; it would have been less expensive. But Alex wanted to go someplace nice to celebrate the end of the first semester. I was transferring to a smaller school at the start of winter semester and we both knew this would change our relationship. But we both readily admitted that it was necessary. UC Berkley was fine for me when I wanted to be a doctor but now that I wanted to be a teacher, I needed to go somewhere else. But Alex told me that was something we could worry about tomorrow. "Tonight is for us, Annabelle," he told me as we sat down at a small table for two that overlooked the ocean.

Dinner was lovely. I had chicken parmesan and Alex had veal Marsala and then for dessert we split tiramisu, my favorite dessert. After dinner, we went for a walk along the coast, talking about our hopes and dreams. Alex wanted to be a neurologist so badly and I was determined to teach early elementary school, preferably first to second grade. "And it'll take me a while to actually be worth something financially, but I don't care. I love you and I want to make you mine," Alex said.

I smiled. "I love you too, Alex."

Suddenly, his fingers were running through my long dark brown hair. "Anna, I love your hair. Don't ever cut it; just leave it long and gorgeous like this forever."

I laughed and shook my long curls. "I'll see what I can do. I love my hair too."

He smiled and turned me so I was looking into his gorgeous dark brown eyes. "Annabelle, I need to talk to you about something serious."

I nodded. "What's up?"

Alex took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his thick black curls. "Anna, you know that I love you. I love you more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

My breath caught in my throat as I realized what was going on. It was only a few days before Christmas and we were only nineteen years old. We both had two and half more years left in school and then Alex had medical school in front of him. I put my hands over my mouth as he got down on one knee and held out a beautifully simple ring in front of me. "Anna Clarissa Eliot, I love you. Will you marry me?"

**End Flashback**

I said yes that night but within a week, I had given the ring back to Alex and told him that I was sorry but I just couldn't agree to marriage at that point in time. In truth, Wally and Sarah had talked me out of it. They convinced me that I was too young and Alex wasn't good enough for me. He was too poor and it would take him too long to get the point where he could afford to support a wife and family. Sarah had told me that someone better would come along soon. Well, eight years later, I was still single. I cut my hair after I gave Alex his ring back. I couldn't stand having my long curls reminding me of him day in and day out, so I cut my hair into a bob and haven't grown it out since then. Every now and then, someone will tell me they want to see me with long hair but I always tell them that it's just easier to handle short hair. The truth is that I can't handle having long hair; it makes me think about the man who was in love with my long hair. Short hair is easier; I didn't break anyone's heart when I had short hair.

That night, Maya came into my room in the way she used to before she got married when she had exciting gossip to share. She jumped up on my bed and grinned; I hadn't seen her happy like this in ages. "Guess what Gretchen told me today?"

"What?" I asked, looking up from my book; I had been working on writing a book for the past two years or so. I was almost done with it and I was rereading it to make sure that I was satisfied with it.

"Apparently she was talking with Alex Wentworth and he told her that it was a good thing that we told him who you were because he never would have recognized you. He thinks you've really changed since you knew each other in college. Isn't that weird?"

I shrugged and adjusted my glasses. "I suppose so. But you have to remember we only took a couple classes together my freshman year. That was when I was at Berkley and pre-med. I changed my major and left Berkley halfway through my sophomore year."

"Yeah, I guess I remember that now."

"You were in Switzerland when I was at Berkley," I reminded her.

"Was Alex as good-looking then as he is now?"

I laughed and shook my head. "We weren't really friends or anything like that, Maya. We knew each other but I don't know if I really remember what he looked like then well enough to answer your question."

She slapped my laptop and shook her head. "You're pathetic, Anna. You took at least two classes with him and you never noticed what he looked like. He's so gorgeous; you're too caught up in your books and work to notice boys. No wonder you're still single."

I shrugged. "Say what you want, Maya. I've chosen the life I have and I'm willing to live with my choices."

After my sister left the room, my eyes fell on the book on my bedside table, Flight of Dreams. I wasn't living the life my mother had dreamed I would. And I wasn't happy with the life choices I'd made. I wish I hadn't listened to my dad or to Sarah. Alex had turned out wonderfully. He was a doctor and he was doing well for himself from what I heard. And he was still as gorgeous as ever. And he hated me.

Eight years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. And now I was going to pay for it for the rest of my life.

A/N: Please review! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I've been really busy, but I promise to do better. I hope you liked it.


	4. Interruption: Alex Speaks

A/N: I still don't own _Persuasion_, but I am very sorry about how rarely I update. I hope you enjoy the story. And yes, I titled this chapter "Interruption" on purpose.

**Interruption: Alex Speaks Out**

"_I'd like people to remember me as someone who was good at his job and seemed to mean what he said." –James Stewart_

She cut her hair. That was the first thing I noticed about her when I saw her in the breakfast room at her sister's house. Anna cut her long gorgeous brown hair. When we were together in college, Anna Eliot had long gorgeous curls. And then I walked into her sister's house the other day and saw her sitting there with her young nephew in her lap. And I didn't know what to do or say. All I could think of was the time when we were together, the time when I dreamed of marrying her and having a family with her. There she sat with a baby in her arms, little Josh; I know he's only her nephew but for a time I thought he was her child and the thought of Anna with a child sent chills down my spine. She would be a wonderful mother. When Gretchen told me that she was a first grade teacher, it made me happy; that was the perfect job for her. She was great with little kids and she loved them. When we were together, she told me that she wanted to get married and have a family. She'd come from a broken family and she just wanted a whole, real family. I understood that longing for a real family. I'd grown up in one of those "real" families with a mom, a dad, an older sister, an older brother, a white picket fence, and a dog. The dog's name was King Caspian X, named as such by my older sister, Sophia, who loved books more than she loved anything except her dog and torturing Nick and me.

I lied when I told Marietta and Gretchen that I didn't recognize Anna. I see her in my dreams every night. The only thing that had changed was the length of her hair. Her eyes were still vividly green and her hair was still brown like chestnuts. She was still quiet and reserved, but there was a great deal of sadness about her that hadn't been there when we were in college. I wondered what had happened to her to make her look like she was going to cry all the time. Sadness overwhelmed those big green eyes in a way that I had never seen. She'd always had a touch of sadness to her; I think it came from losing her mother so young and the neglect she'd endured at her family's hands. But the sadness had never been like this. When we were in college, it had been so easy to make her smile and when she did, it was like turning on a light in her face. She had the most beautiful smile in the world. But things had changed. Life had given Anna more bruises and scars than she'd had when she'd dumped me eight years earlier. I wanted to just take her in my arms and hold her, to just let her cry and comfort her. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be better. I wanted her to know that there were people out there who cared about her.

But I couldn't. As much as I hated watching her while Maya walked all over her and took advantage of her naturally giving nature, I couldn't bring myself to help her. God damn it; that girl broke my heart eight years ago and while she might be going through hell from her sister, she had no clue what she'd put me through. She might have left UC-Berkley at the end of that school year and transferred to another school, but I still couldn't stay at Berkley; I couldn't stay where I had so many memories. So I'd packed up and transferred to the University of Michigan. It was two thousand miles away and colder than Berkley could ever get, but it was someplace where Anna had never been. There were no memories of her. I could walk across the Diag on my way to Bubble Island and not see her face and hear her laughing at some stupid joke I'd just made. So I stayed there for six years. I got used to the cold and I grew to love the school. And there were no constant reminders of Anna there. I started a new life there; I had friends and a job. I even dated a few girls, although I never let anything get too serious. I only dated redheads and blondes, choosing to avoid my favorite hair color on a woman because of what that one brunette had done to me. And I never dated girls with green eyes; I went on one blind date with a lovely girl named Samantha who had green eyes. And all I could see all through dinner was Anna. Her eyes haunted me.

But then two years ago, I moved to Los Angeles and started my residency at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. At that point in time, it had been looking like my brother-in-law, Admiral Harrison Croft, was going to resign from the Navy in the next year or two and Harrison and Sophia were planning on living in the L.A. area when he retired. So being that my family consisted of my parents who lived in Greece, Harrison and Sophia, and my brother, Nicholas, who had become a Greek Orthodox priest and was currently living in Seattle, I decided to move to Los Angeles to be closer to my family. Plus, the opportunity to work at a prestigious hospital like Children's Hospital was just too good to pass up.

I lived on my own in the city for two years until Harrison and Sophia started renting Kellynch and invited me to come live with them. I was more than glad to give up my bachelor pad with my life of carry-out and burned meals to live with the amiable Harry and my sister, the amazing cook. So I gladly moved into their house. Sophia told me beforehand that she'd found the perfect bedroom for me. "It looks out over the backyard and you can see the ocean from there. It's really the most amazing view ever. You'll love it."

It was an amazing bedroom, but upon opening the closet, I discovered who its previous resident had been. The one lone box left in the closet contained a manuscript entitled "A Strange and Bitter Romance." Underneath the title had been written "by A.C. Eliot" in an all-too familiar hand. I would have known that "A.C. Eliot" anywhere. It stood for Anna Clarissa Eliot. After the day when I took the books to her and I found her nephew attacking her, I started reading that manuscript and delved into a side of Anna I'd never known ever when we were dating. She was telling the story of two people who had fallen in love but things never worked out for them. Their names were Gregory Fenton and Meghan Walsh. The biggest hurdle in their relationship was the fact that Meghan was the daughter of a renowned Democratic senator and Gregory worked for a Republican publication and had campaigned for Meghan's father's archrival. I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be an allegory for our relationship or not. I suspected that it was at first but then as I kept reading, I began to doubt that idea. The story more seemed to be a simple, honest love story rather than some deep, intense allegory for a relationship that had probably meant nothing to her.

And I was determined to forget her and ignore her. I was never going to let her know that she'd hurt me. I was going to find another woman to love and push Anna Eliot out of my life, my mind, and my heart. I was done being in love with Anna. I was going to get over her once and for all and I didn't care how badly I hurt her in the process. She broke my heart eight years ago and it was time for her to know how that felt. I wasn't mad at her but I wanted her to understand what she'd done to me. She had broken my heart and sent me spinning. I thought she loved me but then she had just used me, like I meant nothing to her. I was determined to find love and build a life without Anna.

A week later, I found myself at the mall with Gretchen, Marietta, Maya, Anna, and Maya's two little boys. Gretchen and Marietta had coerced me into coming with them as "something fun to do" with my day off from the hospital. I hadn't seen Anna at all since our arrival at the mall. She'd settled Tony and Josh in their stroller and headed off to entertain her nephews at the children's play area and in toy stores instead of dragging them from one clothing store to another. I'd lost track of how many times I'd been asked my opinion of some random article of clothing. Gretchen was determined to keep my attention as much as she could but her sister wanted me to notice her too. I wasn't sure if they were actually both interested in me, or if this was some sick game of sisterly rivalries. We were standing in line at Starbucks and Gretchen was pawing at my arm. "I really want to get a raspberry mocha," she said. "But that's just so many calories. Maybe if I get it with sugar-free syrups it'll be better. What do you think, Alex? I really need to watch my caloric intake. I don't want to end up looking like Maya. It's SO obvious that she's had two kids and has just given up."

I glanced over at Maya who didn't look like she'd given up on herself. She was wearing a short denim skirt and a red camisole. She looked more like someone who was trying to stay fifteen rather than someone who had given up on herself. "I guess you should just do what you want," I said, not really caring whether or not she got sugar-free syrup in her coffee. "If you want the lower calorie option, then go for it."

"Are you calling me fat?" she asked. "Because I am not fat, I exercise once a day. I'm just concerned about my figure."

She was twenty-one and concerned about her figure; I rolled my eyes but said, "If you would rather get the regular, then get the regular."

"Anna never bothers with sugar-free syrups," she said. "She runs three miles every day and eats boring health food all the time. But when she goes to Starbucks, she doesn't have to worry about sugar-free syrups or that kind of stuff. It's not fair. Do you now that she can still wear clothes from when she was in college?"

"Nope," I said. And I didn't care either; why should I care that my ex-fiancée could wear clothes that she'd bought when we were dating? Or since Gretchen didn't know about my previous history with Anna, why would I care that some young woman I barely knew could wear clothes that she'd bought ten years earlier? I'd never seen Anna wear clothes from college.

"It's so ridiculous," Marietta inserted from her spot behind us in line. "And it's just not fair."

"I can probably wear the same clothes I wore in college," I said innocently.

"You're a guy," Marietta said at the exact same time as her younger sister said, "That's unfair and ridiculous."

"Where is Anna?" Maya asked suddenly. She'd been on her cell phone until then and her sisters-in-law seemed annoyed at her intrusion into their conversation with me.

"She took off with Joshie and Tony when we got her," Marietta replied. "She's probably at the play area with them still."

"I hope she didn't buy cookies or anything for them. I hate it when Anna or Kevin gives the kids sweets. It makes them so hyper and it just spoils them." Maya sighed. "Someone needs to make sure that those kids stay in line and I don't seem to be getting any help with their father or their grandparents or aunts. I'm pretty sure my dad doesn't even know that I have two kids."

I'll give her that; during my few encounters with Wally Eliot eight years earlier, he'd seemed like a pretty clueless guy. He was one of those self-centered people who couldn't see beyond the end of their own nose. He didn't seem to care about his two younger daughters. He was only interested in people who were interested in him or the things he cared about. But I wasn't sure where the rest of her rant was stemming from. Kevin and his parents seemed to be pretty good about not spoiling Josh and Tony, or at least it seemed that way when I was around. Kevin seemed to be a pretty strict father and good with his kids while his wife seemed to be much flightier. Maya just seemed like a clueless, attention-seeking ditz.

I zoned out of the conversation until I heard Anna's name. I was doing miserably at this ignoring her and getting over her thing. "I really think we should get Anna a drink," Marietta was saying. "But I just don't know what to get her."

"Well, she doesn't worry about sugar-free syrups," Gretchen said.

"Yeah, we heard all about that one earlier," her older sister sighed. "The question is what she would want to drink right now. Maya, do you know what she likes?"

"She doesn't drink black coffee; she hates the taste."

So she still hated the taste of black coffee. I wondered if she still drank tea the way she did when we were in college. Back then, it was extremely rare to see her without a mug of tea in her hands. One of our friends had taken an amazing picture of her curled up in her favorite armchair, with her hair in a long braid hanging over her shoulder, a large chemistry textbook resting on her lap, her glasses threatening to fall off the tip of her nose, and a large mug of black tea in her hands. She looked adorable.

But then she cut her hair. And who knew if she still drank copious amounts of tea? She used to love chai lattes but I didn't know if that was still true. "Oh well," Gretchen said. "We'll just tell her we tried but we didn't know what she wanted. I'm sure she won't mind." Then she wrapped her arm around my waist. "Let's just get what we want. Anna's probably so busy with the babies that she won't even want coffee or anything."

"Maybe she even got herself something to drink already," Marietta added. "She's resourceful like that."

"Don't you agree with me?" Gretchen asked, squeezing my forearm and huddling closer to me, like she was cold or something.

I shrugged. "If we can't get a hold of her and we don't know what she likes, I'm sure she'll understand."

"You think just like I do, Alex-poo," she cooed.

I was vaguely curious as to when I approved the name "Alex-poo" as my new nickname but I knew better than to push it with girls like Gretchen. I knew her type well. They seem ditzy and stupid, like there's nothing to them but gorgeous blonde hair, a great set of boobs, and an innate ability for shopping. But once you get to know them, there really actually is a lot to them. They actually know how to think and have personalities. And while Gretchen came off as a self-centered ditz who didn't know anything beyond who wore what to which party, there had to be so much more to her. And I was determined to discover it. I was going to be the brilliant man who found the layers that were hidden under the dumb blonde exterior. So I put up with her ditzy remarks and self-centered behaviors because I was going to find the intelligent human being underneath the make-up and designer labels.

"We should probably go find Anna," Marietta said once we all had our drinks. "She's been alone with Josh and Tony for at least three or four hours now. She's probably getting tired."

"She's the one who chose to take care of them," Gretchen retorted, taking a sip of her skinny caramel latte. "She probably doesn't mind taking care of them."

"I have to figure out what I'm feeding my family for dinner tonight," Maya inserted randomly. "I'll either order something or ask Anna to make something."

"Anna is an amazing cook," the person leaning on me announced. "You should just get her to cook for you. Heck, you should hire her to be your chef. Mom told me that you want to hire a chef and Anna would be great at it."

"She already has a job," Anna's younger sister reminded Gretchen.

"Yeah, but she only works from September to June and you wouldn't have to pay her as much because she's your sister," she sighed. "It would be a great idea for everyone."

I know what you're thinking but I really was convinced that there was more to her. There had to be. There was no way that there could be someone who was that self-centered and that shallow. Well, just give Gretchen time and just get to know her. She really has a good heart; it's just hidden under a lot of other things, like her make-up. Granted, there is a lot of make-up on that face but I'm sure that there is a truly amazing person under all of that.

We shopped for another hour and a half before Marietta called Anna on her cell phone and arranged to meet her at the car. I considered asking her how she was doing when we all met up but she looked so tired and harried, that I knew better than to bother. She might have volunteered for spending time with her nephews but she hadn't signed up for spending five hours alone with two little boys who were tired and grumpy. When we got back to the Musgroves, Maya invited us all over for dinner and then volunteered Anna to cook for us. Before anyone else could say anything, Gretchen had accepted for Marietta and me, so we found ourselves joining Anna and the Musgroves for a pasta and chicken dish that Anna had whipped up while feeding the two little boys and putting them to bed. I'd suggested offering to help her but the idea was quickly shut down by Maya and Gretchen. "It's basically her job," Gretchen told firmly, while snuggling up against me. "Besides, I need you here far more than she does."

So I snuggled with Gretchen while Anna slaved away in the kitchen and the nursery. By the time she served dinner, she was completely out of my mind except as the nice person who made dinner for all of us. It never occurred to me that she might need help with something like the dishes, which she took care of while the rest of us sat around on the patio talking. I didn't see her again for the rest of the evening. I'm assuming she went to bed or something. She seemed exhausted during dinner and I'm guessing that she just went to be with her nephews or sleep. Plus, I get the idea that Marietta, Maya, and especially Gretchen didn't seem to see her as real human being.

A/N: I hope you like it; please review.


	5. Like Some Old Building

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. However, I appreciate my reviewers.

**Chapter Three: Like Some Old Building**

"_People have grown fond of me, like some old building."_

_-Katharine Hepburn_

The trip to the mall had been, in a word, disastrous and I wasn't eager to spend that much time with my sister and the Musgrove sisters again anytime soon. But I hadn't actually been spending time with Maya, Marietta, and Gretchen. I had been babysitting while they shopped for five hours. I'd eaten nothing and had nothing to drink, and neither had the little boys. And neither of them was able to take a nap. So when we finally left the mall, I had two tired, hungry, cranky little boys on my hands. And then Maya volunteered me to make dinner for everyone. Let's just all be honest here; there are days when I pretty much hate my sister. Actually, let's make that abhor and call everything square. I remember being a little girl and wanting a little sister. Now I wonder what was wrong with me.

And to make matters worse, Gretchen and Maya are continually humiliating me in front of Alex. I try not to care but that's easier said than done. Imagine being treated like you're subhuman in front of the man who used to be in love with you. Alex doesn't even seem to notice me. I guess that's for the best. If he doesn't notice me, then he can't see how much I've changed and how ugly I've become. I guess I'm not the girl he fell in love with anymore. But then would I even want to be that girl anymore?

* * *

A few days later, I managed to snatch a few hours of peace and quiet by running out Barnes and Noble and spending a few hours browsing among the books. I'd been taking care of my nephews almost constantly since the mall trip since Maya was "sick" again. But it was Saturday and Kevin was around to watch them for a little bit while I ran out to get some fresh air and quiet. So I was drinking a chai latte and wandering around the bookstore looking for a new book to read. The great thing about the summer is that I can read adult books; I don't have to read children's books. Okay, so I still read children's books to my nephews. But I have some free time to myself during the summer.

I spent a good two hours wandering around the store with a cup of tea in my hand. I couldn't consume anything with caffeine in it anymore. Shortly after Alex and I broke up, I had been put on a course of medications for my migraines that prohibited the consumption of caffeine. Alex would have been so happy; he was always on my back about how much coffee and caffeinated tea I drank. But for the past eight years, I'd been strictly a decaf girl. I'd also been a single girl for the past eight years, a fact that I was cruelly reminded of as I walked past various romantic novels of the Danielle Steele ilk. Any chick flick I saw or any overly cute couple was also a reminder of my persistent singleness. I had long ago accepted the fact that I would never marry Alex Wentworth and that it was highly unlikely that I would ever marry any other man. I had fallen for Alex in an inescapable way. Eight years later, he was still the man I loved. I didn't always like him but what girl always liked the man they loved?

But then most people don't find themselves in the situation that Alex and I had been in. I was looking at cookbooks when I had an annoyingly familiar voice. "Anna, is that you? Kevin told us that you would be here!"

I turned around to see Gretchen dragging Alex towards me. "What a coincidence!" she exclaimed. "Alex and I came to get the latest issue of _Cosmo_ and look at a couple of books about interior design. Where are the magazines here?"

"Over by the Starbucks," I told her.

She hurried off but Alex didn't follow her. I kept browsing and he stayed nearby. He didn't speak to me or get in my way but he was never far away. Soon, we found ourselves in the children's section. I was looking for Elmer by David McKee when I heard his voice for the first time. "Anna, did you ever write a children's book called Apples for Alice?"

"Why do you ask?"

He walked towards me holding the book in his hands. "It says it was written by Anna C. Eliot and that's your name."

I nodded. "Yeah, I wrote it."

"I didn't know you wrote books."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," I replied.

"Did you just write the one or are there more?"

I walked over to the shelf where he'd found the first book and took five books off the shelf. "I've been writing for about five years now. I've only published children's stories but I'm working on something else right now."

"Something more serious?"

"It's for adults," I replied, fingering the books in my hands. "It's a story about growing up and becoming the person you're supposed to be."

"Is it autobiographical?"

I shrugged. "Did you really come here to look for _Cosmo_ with Gretchen?"

He looked at me and shook his head. "Let's just say I was looking for an opportunity to spend time with her and get to know her a little better."

"Oh, okay," I replied. I looked down at the books in my hands. Along with Apples for Alice, I'd also written Alice does Ballet, and A Friend for Alice as well as two books for children who had lost a parent: Where Did Mommy Go? and Do they have McDonalds in heaven? The last two books were on the top of the pile and I felt Alex taking them away from me.

"Do they have McDonalds in heaven?" he read. "Where did that come from?"

I looked at him, standing there wearing dark jeans and a light blue dress shirt. He looked so relaxed and comfortable. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. He ran his long fingers through his thick dark hair and I sighed. "When my mom died," I began. "Maya asked my dad if they had McDonalds in heaven. He just laughed at her, so she went and asked Sarah Russell. Sarah told her not to be ridiculous; people don't need food in heaven. But all they did was make Maya cry. She was ten years old and her mother had died. She just didn't understand what had happened."

"So you wrote books for kids to help them cope with losing a parent?" he asked, looking slightly confused.

"Two years ago, the mother of one of my students died. Angelina was a young single mother and she had three little kids depending on her. Her oldest, Trey, was six and he was so confused. I wrote the book for Trey and his little sisters."

"What happened to them?"

"They live with their grandmother," I replied. "She does her best for them. I had Trey's younger sister, Mecca, in my class last year. She was doing pretty well, all things considered."

He nodded, and then pointed to the cup in my hand. "What are you drinking?"

"It's just tea, just a simple cup of decaf green tea."

"What happened to your fancy mochas and lattes?"

"I still drink them; they just have to be decaf."

"Oh, your migraines?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair again.

"It's a long story," I replied. Self-consciously, I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and I could hear his voice eight years ago telling me to never cut my hair.

"Do you still get them though?" I could hear concern in his voice and I remembered times when we were dating when my migraines had left me crying in pain.

"Yeah, but it's not a huge deal. I've learned to live with it." I looked him in the eye. "Over the past fifteen years, I've learned that while life is hard, you've just got to roll with the punches and take whatever comes to you."

"That's true," he said. He picked a book up off the shelf and turned it over in his hands a few times. I could tell this was awkward for him but then it was awkward for me too. And I just wanted to leave. I didn't have to be here. And walking around the bookstore with my ex-fiancé, who was now dating my sister's sister-in-law, was not making my life any more peaceful or quiet. I started putting my books back on the shelves. Unfortunately, another book fell off the shelf in the process. Before I could grab it, Alex had it in his hands. "Where Monkeys Sleep by Charlotte Eliot," he read. "I didn't know your mom wrote children's books."

"Just that one," I replied tersely, silently praying that he wouldn't open the book. Where Monkeys Sleep was a story that my mom used to tell Liz and me when we were really little. And she dedicated it to us. But I didn't want Alex to know that. I didn't want him to ask me more questions about my mother and my relationship with her. My mom died years ago and being reminded of her hurts sometimes, especially when the reminders come in the form of books she dedicated to me. I love my mom and I love the fact that she dedicated three of her books to me. I loved the books but it hurt to be reminded that the books and photographs were all I really had left of her.

But of course, the universe hated me and Alex opened the book. "To my Lizzie and Annabelle, whom I love more than words; this story is for you. Keep living the dream and keep dancing like princesses," he read. "That's sweet. Why didn't you ever tell me about the fact that your mom dedicated books to you?"

"Because she died years ago and that's in the past. The books are how I remember her. They're all I have left of her."

"So share those memories with other people," he replied.

I shook the book in his hand. "You can buy it. You can read it. It's a story she used to tell Liz and me when we were little. Now you can read it too and you can know what she used to talk to her daughters about."

"And you can't tell me?"

I sighed, ran my fingers through my hair and looked away. "Alex, maybe you've never watched your mother die slowly and painfully of ovarian cancer. But I did that-when I was twelve years old. I was a little girl who wasn't close to her father or her older sister. My mother, who was the only person in my family who ever paid any attention to me, died. She left me alone with Wally and Liz and Maya. All I had left of her was her books. Call me selfish; maybe I am. But I like to cling to my memories of her. I keep them for myself because they're all I have of her. Wally got rid of everything else of hers except those books that you gave me a few weeks ago. He threw away pictures of her. All I had left was the picture of her on the dust jackets of books. Maybe it doesn't make sense to anyone except me. I'm sure it doesn't. But my mommy died and I didn't know what to do. I don't know how to talk about it."

I wanted to walk away, or even better, run away, but Alex's piercing brown eyes wouldn't stop watching me. They were fixed on my face with an expression that was caught somewhere between compassion, pity, and confusion. When we were dating, I hadn't talked much about my mother but I'd tried to make it clear that I'd loved her and her death had left me heartbroken and desolate. He'd never pushed me to talk about it, but now he seemed unwilling to let me leave it all be.

"Gretchen tells me that Marietta's boyfriend is coming back this weekend?" he said suddenly as if trying to come up with a neutral topic of conversation.

"Finally," I replied. "Jackson has been in Europe on business for almost two months now. I imagine it's been hard on Marietta being so far away from him." Especially considering how much time she'd spent fawning over Alex, I added in my head. I wasn't sure if she'd actually noticed Jackson's absence once she found Alex to flirt with.

"What does he do for a living?"

I shrugged. "It's complicated. He wants to be an ordained minister, but right now he's doing mission work abroad."

"I can't see Marietta as a pastor's wife."

"It's not my problem," I told him. "Marietta and Jackson will work things out and make their lives work. I can't fix everyone's problems." Just because people ask me to fix their problems doesn't mean I actually do it all the time.

"Are you still playing Dear Abby for everyone?" he asked.

I sighed. "That's none of your business and it hasn't been your business for eight years."

"You made it that way," he replied. "I don't know if you remember but I'm pretty sure that you were the one who ended the engagement, not me."

"I don't think I've forgotten that for one single minute over the past eight years ago," I retorted quickly. I took a step away from him. He was watching me as I walked away from him. I'd done it before and I could do it again. I could walk away from Alex Wentworth. But this time I was walking away from his self-centered presumptions and the way he was just letting both Gretchen and Marietta throw themselves at him. He obviously loved having two girls who hung on his every word and were completely willing to throw themselves at him. He knew that he could have either one of the blonde-haired Musgrove beauties whenever he wanted and loved every minute of it. I didn't know who he was anymore. He could be a sweetheart once in a rare while, but most of the time, he was a flirtatious asshole.

I wandered around the bookstore for a while longer. Alex had gone to help Gretchen look for books about interior design. A few days earlier, she'd taken it into her head to redecorate her bedroom and now she was looking for books on how to do that. Her mother wasn't very happy with her but also long as Gretchen was doing something productive with her time, Mrs. Musgrove was happy.

Of course when last I saw them before leaving Barnes and Noble, the only productive thing Gretchen and Alex were doing was trying to suck each other's lips off in the middle of the Home and Garden section. I'm sure her mother would be proud.

* * *

That night, Charles and Alicia Musgrove had us and the Crofts over for dinner. Gretchen and Alex were acting very much so like a couple. He had his arm around her shoulders when we were in the living room before dinner. She was leaning against him and talking to him in hushed tones. She was touching him and I frequently heard her call him either "honey" or "baby" or "doll;" it was so weird. When Alex and I were together, he hated terms of endearment. "You can call me Alex or nothing," he'd told me once. "I don't do endearing names."

But there he was with Gretchen, letting her call him "Alex baby." I couldn't believe my ears when I heard her say "Alex, baby, honey, baby doll, look, I was wondering if we could go on a picnic together one night this week."

Marietta, who was sitting across the room with Jackson Hayter, was shooting her sister dirty looks. I could tell that she was pissed off that her sister was getting so much attention from Alex. Marietta had been interested in him and probably would have made a play for him if Jackson hadn't come back when he did. But he came back and she was looking like she was going to stick with him. Marietta and Jackson had met in high school and they've been together since two weeks before their junior prom. His father, Gerald Hayter, owned four car dealerships; while his family wasn't as wealthy as the Musgroves, Jackson had never wanted for anything. But he wanted to be a minister. She'd been apprehensive about that but now that her sister was claiming Alex for herself, she looked to be accepting what Jack was doing. Earlier in the evening, I'd heard her asking him about the seminaries he was looking at attending. I couldn't tell if she was just trying to get Alex jealous or not; but she was making it look like she was actually interested in Jack.

Dinner was sufficiently awkward. I spent most of the meal talking to Mrs. Musgrove and the Crofts. Maya was complaining about her "horrible" health to anyone who would listen. Alex and Gretchen were being as much of a couple as humanly possible. The other Musgroves at the table were randomly talking to each other. And I was pretty sure that Kevin was blushing with embarrassment due to his wife's behavior. Thankfully, Josh and Tony were too young to know that their mother was humiliating herself, their father, and them with her loud sighs and moans about her health and her concerns about her marriage. Apparently, from what she told Eva and Nick Musgrove, she was terrified their brother was about to divorce her. I didn't think she really had anything to worry about but at the same time, I think Kevin should be worried. Knowing my sister, she might divorce him before he could divorce her to protect herself. If that logic confuses you, don't worry; it confuses everyone else who knows her too. I really think she's just scared of being rejected. She was rejected once as a child when my dad sent her away to boarding school and now she's eternally afraid of it. She became clingy and afraid of commitment at the same time, if that's possible.

After dinner, Mr. Musgrove asked me about how my book was coming. I've been working on a book for a couple years now and it's looking like it will get published sometime next year. I shrugged. "My publisher wants the end of the book when I go to New York in August."

"And you're struggling with the ending?" he asked. Charles Musgrove understands these sorts of things; he's a record producer and over the years, he has worked with more than his fair share of songwriters who are struggling between their muses and a deadline.

I nodded. "You've read the story, Charles. I just don't know how to end things. On one hand, I could satisfy all the hopeless romantics, or I could give it a bittersweet ending. And I just don't know which ending I want more."

"You're writing a book?" Sophia Croft asked, coming up next to me.

"I want to see if I have any of my mother's talent," I told her. "And my editor and publisher seem to think I might."

"I've read your children's books," Sophia told me. "I bought the Alice stories for my goddaughter for her birthday. She loved them and so did I. After reading those, I'd say you have some real talent."

I smiled and Charles beamed. He and his wife, Alicia, are fond of me and I'm also fond of them; I think of them as my loving aunt and uncle who actually care about my thoughts and feelings. They're my biggest fans and bought all five of my children's books the day that they came out even though their children all too old for them and none of their kids are struggling with the death of a parent. I think they just wanted to make sure that someone bought at least one copy of each book.

"I would suggest that you write both the hopelessly romantic ending to the story and a bittersweet ending. Then have someone read both endings and tell you which one they like better."

"But one person could simply prefer happy endings to bittersweet endings," I replied.

"Well, you should ask someone to tell you which one suits the characters better," she said. "Actually, I would be interested in reading your book; I'd love to read it and let you know what I think of it."

I'm deathly afraid of verbal criticism. When it's written, I'm a little better with it, but I can't stand being publicly humiliated. My dad loved telling Liz and me what was wrong with us. He once turned a pimple on my chin into an hour long dinner table discussion when I was sixteen. He loved pointing out our faults no matter where we are. So I was hesitant to let someone like Sophia Croft, who is a well-known writer, read my work. "Anna, that's the opportunity of a lifetime," Charles told me. "You have to take Sophia up on that."

I sighed and swallowed before nodding with a smile. "That would be great," I told Sophia in a voice that I hoped sounded enthusiastic. "I'd love to have your opinions of my writing."

"Just drop by some afternoon and bring me a copy; I'd love to look your book over. What exactly is the story about?" she asked. She sounded really interested and that made me nervous.

"It's sort of a Romeo and Juliet type story," I said slowly. "These two people, Meghan and Gregory, who meet and fall in love but they come from completely different families and ways of life. Her dad is a Democratic senator and Greg works for a Republican newspaper. And things get complicated, of course. I know it sounds horrible-"

"I'm sure it's great," she said with a smile that seemed genuine. "And I'm looking forward to reading it."

Her husband came over a few minutes later and we started talking about something else. Harrison and Sophia were two the friendliest people I'd met. They were an unusual couple; he looked to be in his late fifties or early sixties while she was in her mid-thirties. They made an interesting couple but they seemed to be very much in love.

And Alex and Gretchen seemed very interested in each other. They didn't leave each other's sides until the end of the evening. When he said good-night to her, he had his hands on her ass. He never even touched my lower back until we'd been dating for about a year and he never touched my ass in the entire time we were together. I happened to notice his sister glaring at them as he kissed her good-night. "He's never treated a girl like that before," I overheard her say. "He's moving so fast."

* * *

Two days later, Alex came over to Kevin and Maya's house while I was playing with Tony and Josh. "Is Gretchen here?" he asked. Before I could say anything, he added, "I went over to her parents' house first and Eva told me she was over here."

I shook my head. "She and Marietta came over here an hour or two ago but then Jackson Hayter came over." I decided not to tell him the exact circumstances under which Maya and Gretchen had stormed out of the house because they don't like Jackson.

"So Jackson went out with Marietta, Maya, and Gretchen? That's got to be a bit much for him. All that estrogen and there's just one Jackson."

"And it wasn't too much for you when you were at the mall with the three of them?" I snapped. I was sick of him making me feel like I didn't belong. I was sitting on the couch in my sister's house playing with Josh while Tony took a nap and then he would come in and completely mess with my emotions and my head.

"The little guys were there," he replied hastily, pointing to Josh who was leaning against me. "You were there and the little boys were there, so it wasn't just me with three women."

"I was off playing with them in a different part of the mall the entire time we were there," I replied firmly.

"But you and the boys were there; now it's just Jackson, Marietta, Gretchen, and Maya."

"Actually, Jack and Marietta went out to dinner together," I replied. "Gretchen and Maya are at the mall together because they don't want to infringe on Jack and Marietta's time together."

Actually Gretchen had said that she thought Jack was "a great name for someone who is a jackass enough to think that he could ever deserve my sister. Marie, you're too good for him and I don't know what you're doing screwing around with some dip-shit who just wants to be a minister. There are so many better guys out there. You could at least go for a soldier or someone who might give you a chance to travel."

But I didn't tell Alex any of that. Instead, I just told him that Jack and Marietta were out having dinner and that Gretchen was at the mall with Maya and "you can call her if you want to see her."

He awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other. Then he looked at me as if he'd just had a brilliant idea. "What are your plans for the evening?"

"I'm babysitting Josh and Tony until Maya or Kevin gets home and then I'm taking a long bath and going to sleep for the next sixty years."

"Life is treating you that well?" he teased and for a moment I saw something that reminded me of the Alex I once knew and loved.

"Oh, it's fabulous," I replied. "I work from August to June trying to civilize six-year-olds and then I spend the two months of my life that are supposed to keep me from going completely gray by age thirty and dying of a stress-induced heart attack by age forty, forty-five at the latest."

"So tell your sister she's overworking you and you're here for a vacation."

"Alex, I wouldn't expect you to understand why I can't say no to Maya."

"Maybe because you're easily manipulated and you'll do anything for your family. They're more important to you than anyone else. You let them push you around time and again. They abuse you almost constantly, and still, you put them in front of everyone else."

"Even if that means destroying my chances of actually being happy in life," I said fiercely, unable to believe the words that were coming out of my lips. "It might be true that I put them in front of everyone thing else, even love. But I do it because of my mother. She asked me to take care of my father and my sisters. And that's what I've been doing for the past fifteen years. I'm taking care of my family."

"And not of yourself," he retorted sharply. "Anna, listen to what you just said. You might have been joking but you know just as well as I do that if you don't take time for yourself, it will take a toll on your health. When you were in college, you were having problems with anemia and migraines. And I'm a doctor; I know a few things about medicine. I would bet that you're still having a lot of health issues, if not more than you were when you were younger. Stress doesn't do anything but make migraines worse, Anna."

"I'm on medications," I retorted.

"But you still get migraines, don't you?" he asked.

For some reason, I pulled Josh into my lap as if his presence there would protect me from Alex's words. Yes, I still get migraines and my medications don't do that much to help me. But I wasn't about to give Alex the satisfaction of knowing that he was right. But in that defensive action, I showed Alex the truth of his words. He shook his head. "Anna, I wish there was something I could do to help you. But until you stop being so stubborn and let go of your belief that you don't need anyone's help, I can't do anything for you."

I saw sympathy in his eyes but I also saw pride and hurt. I found it odd that he was calling me stubborn when he was scolding me for letting my family walk all over me and talk me into anything and everything. But at the same time, my refusal to speak up for myself might have seemed like stubbornness to him. I don't really know whether or not I am stubborn. I know that eight years ago I was very easily persuaded. But I don't know that I would call myself stubborn today. "I think a better word for me would be a doormat," I said, without realizing that I was speaking aloud.

He looked at me and shook his head. "Anna, I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything. I just came over here with a quick question. A friend of mine from Michigan is going to be in Chicago visiting some family and friends in a couple weeks. He lives in Germany most of the year, so I was planning on going up to see him and his family. Anyway, so I was wondering if Gretchen and Marietta and Maya and Kevin wanted to come with me."

"I'll let them know," I said with a quick nod and smile.

"You can come too," he added suddenly. "I think you would get along really well with Matt's wife, Barb. They have a couple kids, two or three; I can't remember."

"Some friend you are," I teased.

He shook his head. "You don't understand. They got married like six years ago and then she had a baby within a year. Then when Teresa, the baby, was like a month old, they moved to Germany and they only come home once a year now. And they spend the entire time they're home in northern Michigan visiting family. So I never really see them. And then her parents are celebrating their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary in Chicago next month. So they decided to come home for a week and they're hoping to see as many of their American friends as they can. And I want to see them and their kids; Teresa was a newborn baby the last time I saw her and now she's like five. And since I'm going, I thought I'd invite Gretchen, Marietta, and all of them to come along." He paused and looked at me. "Would you say that I'm rambling?"

I laughed and nodded. "Don't worry about it; I'm used to people talking my ear off. And don't stress out about inviting me. Maya and Kevin will probably want to come which will mean that someone will volunteer me to stay with Josh and Tony."

"And you could say no and come to Chicago. It would be good for you to get away. When was the last time you went to Chicago or did anything just because you wanted to?"

I sighed; the tone of our conversation kept changing. "Leave it alone, Alex. Like I said earlier, I'm a doormat. At least I know what I'm doing to myself."

"Just don't miss out on something just because you're afraid to say no," he said, opening the front door. "I'll see you around."

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Please review! I'd love to know what people think.


	6. Don't fuss, dear get on with it

A/N: I do not own Persuasion

A/N: I do not own _Persuasion_. However I do love my reviewers.

**Chapter Four: Don't fuss, dear; get on with it.**

"_It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it.'"_

_-Audrey Hepburn_

Somehow, Alex managed to convince Charles and Alicia Musgrove that they wanted to take care of their grandsons for two weeks while he took Kevin, Maya, Gretchen, Marietta, and me to Chicago. Alex had no clue that I was planning on secretly booking my own flight and flying home after a week. There was no way I was spending two whole weeks in Chicago with that group of people. They'd drive me insane and leave me as the odd man out. I was not about to spend two whole weeks following them around Chicago while Maya whines and Gretchen and Alex canoodle. I'd put up with a week of it but only because Charles and Alicia were so eager to have Josh and Tony under their care for a while.

It was also then, in mid-July, that I began seriously thinking about moving to New York to be closer to my family. My father wanted to start splitting his time between Florida and New York, but Liz and Penelope Shepherd-Clay had talked him out of that idea due in part to the cost, but also due to the fact that the social scene in New York is, according to one of the sporadic emails I received from Liz, "much more exciting than Florida. No one who is anyone is ever in Florida except in South Beach. And Dad refuses to move someplace exciting like South Beach. He's so ridiculous. There are times when you really remember just how old and boring he is."

I'd known how boring my self-centered father was since the age of eight when I found him preening in front of a mirror in our dining room before going to a meeting with a director about a part in the movie. He'd been half an hour late to the meeting due to the ridiculous amount of time he'd spent on his appearance before leaving for the meeting. When you put your physical appearance above all else, even your career, you become ridiculous and boring in my eyes. As a child, my mother had always been my role model. She was a hard-worker and she loved writing but she always put her family above everything else. When I was little, I'd frequently come into her office to find her smoking a cigarette while typing furiously away at her latest novel. I would always remind her that she had promised Liz and me that she would quit smoking. And her response was always the same. "Oh, I know, Annabelle, but I just need this one to help me get through this writer's block. It's just this one; it's my last one. I promise you won't smoke any more after this. I just need it to help me finish this book."

But there was always one more cigarette until the day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was only then, when she was dying of a disease completely unconnected to her smoking, that she was able to give her up her "cancer sticks." When I started writing, I'd discovered that all writers have a hidden vice. Mine was chewing gum or sucking on mints whenever I was writing. I had to have that taste of mint in my mouth to get anything out onto paper, or rather onto my computer. I'm not my mother who insisted on writing everything out by hand and then typing it up on her computer later. I'm not sure I could make it through writing "Bitter Passions" without my computer. Writing children's books by hand is not trouble at all. It's writing a full-length novel that gets tricky. For me, it takes bags of mints and a computer to write a novel, especially when the story is a loosely veiled retelling of something that actually happened to you.

Within a week I'd written two different endings to my novel. In one ending, the main characters, Meghan and Gregory, found a way to overcome their differences and the forces that were keeping them apart. They married and lived a good life together. In the other ending, they were pulled apart by forces outside their control and the relationship ended. Meghan moved to England and married a doctor while Gregory stayed single living in New York. Then I took the manuscript over to Sophia hoping that she could help me figure out the ending. I could see both endings as possibilities for Meghan and Gregory. For Alex and me, there was only one option. We were over; there was no hope for us. But maybe there was hope for Gregory and Meghan; maybe they could overcome the odds and fight for love.

* * *

Two days after I dropped the manuscript off with Sophia, Josh and Tony woke up with some kind of stomach virus. Maya immediately freaked out because she was afraid she might catch whatever they had and locked herself up at her in-laws' house until her sons were better. Kevin offered to help me with the little guys as much as possible but that mostly consisted of buying Pedialite and foods that the little guys wouldn't throw up all over the bathroom walls. I suggested to him that he might want to consider redoing the bathroom that Josh and Tony shared after they got better. "They've managed to splatter the walls with barf literally four feet above their heads," I told him the next night while he was eating dinner and talking to Maya on the phone. "I can scrub it all off with disinfectant but your best bet might be to just repaint the room."

"I'll think about it," he said. "I'll have to see how it fits in the budget."

I sighed. "Kevin, give my sister a little less spending money and do something that will be good for the house and for your sons. They do have to live here, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Just because my wife is an idiot doesn't mean that I'm an imbecile."

"She's not an idiot," I said suddenly defensive of my sister. "Yes she's a little self-centered and more than a little ditzy. But she's not an idiot."

"Anna, open your eyes. She thinks I want to divorce her. She talks about this in front of people. She has to be an idiot to think that. I love your sister. I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her. But she goes around telling people including my siblings and the Crofts that I want a divorce. Why would I want a divorce?"

"Because she's afraid of being rejected," I replied, skipping the obvious answer of "Because she's a self-centered drama queen who also happens to be a hypochondriac." I bit that response back on my tongue and used the more psychological response, which happened to also be true. "Maya has been afraid of rejection since my mom died. She was ten years old, her mother died, and then her father shipped her off to Swiss boarding school for the next eight years. How would you feel if that happened to you? She reacted by pushing everyone away. She keeps everyone, even you and me, at a distance. She probably trusts the two of us more than anyone else but she still keeps us at a distance."

"She lets my sisters in closer," he protested.

"She spends time with them but how close is she to them emotionally? What does she talk to them about?"

"Fashion, boys, meaningless things," I replied. "They drink sugar-free mochas and talk about light, fluffy things. That's as deep as Gretchen and Marietta get and that works for Maya. She isn't interested in deep conversation. She is capable of deep conversation but she's not interested in it. Deep conversation requires letting people see past the surface and she isn't interested in that."

He sighed. "You're the only person in your family who does deep conversation."

I shrugged. "I think I got it from my mother."

Kevin smiled. "I wish I'd gotten to meet her. She sounds like she was an amazing woman."

"She was a wonderful mother," I replied.

The doorbell rang just then ending our brother-sister bonding time. It turned out that Kevin had invited Alex and Jack over to play poker and then forgotten to cancel the event when the little ones got sick. But Jack had heard about the illness from his girlfriend and opted not to come over. Alex, on the other hand, knew nothing of our diseased domicile and was standing on the front porch expecting a poker night. Instead, he found a house with two puking toddlers and two exhausted adults. But Kevin, eager for the company of someone who wouldn't run out of the room the minute Josh or Tony started crying, invited him to come in the house and stay for a while. In the end, Kevin, Alex, and I watched _Braveheart_ together. It's Kevin's favorite movie as well as Alex's. He and I used to watch it together when we were dating. It was our thing to do together when I needed to cry. And because _Braveheart_ always makes me cry, I knew that this situation would be awkward. But I had no legitimate reason to skip out on the event other than feebly saying, "I know you two wanted to have some guy time, so I'll just go to my room and curl up with a book and keep an eye out for the little guys."

"It's really fine if you stick around, Anna," Kevin said as he sat down and opened a can of Miller Lite. "Alex and I aren't going to sit around and cry over the story and paint our toenails. You don't need to retreat to your room so we can bond or anything. If you go to your room, you're just going to read until you fall asleep and then you'll wake up when one of the little guys cries because he just threw up all over himself again. You need to do something fun for an evening even if it is just watching a war movie with Alex and me. I won't let you say now."

As I looked at my brother-in-law sitting on the couch with his can of beer in his hand, I thought of how empty my life was. All I had was my family, my job, and a few friends at work. Eight years earlier I'd listened to my father and Sarah Russell instead of following my heart. If I'd listened to my heart, I would be Mrs. Alex Wentworth now. We would have lived in a crappy apartment together while he struggled through medical school and I worked my way through my difficult first years of teaching. And maybe we would have had a baby or two at some point. Hopefully by now, now that he was in his residency, we would have had a baby.

But that future was gone. Those possibilities and dreams had been crushed the night I told him that I couldn't marry him because "it just wouldn't work. We're too young and things will change before we graduate, especially now that I'm transferring."

"_Your family told you to dump me, didn't they?" he asked, refusing to look at me. "They told you that I was too poor and not good enough for Wally Eliot's daughter. They talked you into breaking up with me because you're the daughter of a famous actor and a world-renowned writer and I'm just some kid from Seattle who wants to be a doctor and managed to get a scholarship to UC-Berkley."_

_Tears were streaming down my face. "Don't make this about them," I said. "Alex, you don't understand. I'm leaving Berkley for Northridge and things are going to be harder when we can't see each other every day."_

"_But we can make it work. Berkley and Northridge aren't that far away from each other. We can make it work," he said hopefully. But then his tone turned dark almost immediately. "Unless you're going to listen to your family; if you're going to be so stupid as to believe what they say, then you can just go to hell for all I care."_

"_Alex," I protested. "You don't understand. My mother made me promise to take care of Liz and Maya."_

"_And you can't do that if you're with me."_

"_My father will disinherit me if I marry you. Now I'm fine with being disinherited if that means I have to pay my own way through college. But I'm not okay with being separated from my sisters. I love Liz and Maya; they're all the family I have left in this world."_

"_And clearly no matter how much they use you or abuse you, they'll always be more important than me." With those biting words, he'd walked away from me. And I hadn't seen him again for eight years. _

But I'd never stopped loving him. And eventually I'd realized that the choice of Liz and Maya over Alex hadn't been entirely worth it. I had wonderful moments with my nephews. But he was right; the constant abuse from my sisters hadn't been worth having my heart broken as he walked out of my life. But at the same time I wouldn't trade all the moments I've had with Josh and Tony for the world. And I wouldn't have left them alone with just Maya and Kevin. Eight years ago I'd known nothing about Kevin Musgrove other than the fact that his family lived near mine and his father, Charles Musgrove, controlled one of the most powerful record companies in the world. But then he married my sister about three years ago and then my nephews were born. If only for their sakes, I was glad I hadn't married Alex. I was able to be a good, dutiful aunt and take care of my nephews when no one else would.

I'm not trying to say that Kevin is a bad father; nothing could be further from the truth. He loves his sons and he tries to spend time with them when he can. But Maya's bizarre parenting style and the fights she picks with her husband make things much more complicated than they need to be. And so she pushes a wedge between Kevin and his sons. That became evident when we heard Tony crying in the baby monitor about an hour into the movie. "What should I do?" Kevin asked as he paused the movie.

"I'll go upstairs and see what he needs," I said.

"I'm his father," he protested. "I can do it."

"If he's throwing up, it'll be easier for me to take care of it," I replied, standing up and starting towards the stairs. "I've been on puke duty for the past two days; I'm on it."

"You need a break," he said following me up the stairs. "Go sit on the couch with Alex and take a break."

Sensing that I wasn't going to win this one, I went back to the couch to sit awkwardly with Alex. A minute or two after Kevin went upstairs, Alex asked me, "How long have the little boys been sick?"

"They both had fevers on Tuesday but the puking party started yesterday morning. Maya fled the house as soon as the first drop of vomit hit the toilet bowl yesterday morning."

"Is she pregnant or is she a hypochondriac?"

I laughed. "She's a hypochondriac; she doesn't want to have any more children for at least ten years. Labor was too painful for her; if it weren't for Kevin, I don't think they even would have had Tony. She had an epidural for Josh and a C-section for Tony and she still claims that those were the two most painful experiences of her life. I don't think I'm going to get any more nieces or nephews out of Maya and Kevin."

"What about Liz? Do you think you'll ever get nieces or nephews from her?"

I laughed out loud. "Liz is too in love with herself to ever find time for a child or even a husband. She'll gladly toy with guys but she's not ready for commitment."

Just then, I heard Tony's voice through the baby monitor. "Nana, no you!" Then Kevin's voice came through saying, "Anna, I need you up here now. Tony's fussing and he only wants you."

I smiled and Alex laughed. "I'll leave you alone with your beer," I told him. "But remember what they say about people who drink alone."

He laughed and in my mind I was transported to the comfortable relationship we'd had eight years ago. But then I went upstairs to the present and my fussy nephew. Tony's fever had gone down and he hadn't vomited in several hours. But he was fussing and restless. He'd been sleeping except when he was vomiting over the past two days. And now that his fever was dropping and his stomach was feeling better. So I picked him up and started walking around the nursery with him. And the fussing stopped when I took him down the kitchen and gave him a bottle. I was walking around the kitchen with him when Alex came in looking for water. "How is the little man?" he asked, brushing his hand over my nephew's little blond head.

Tony looked up at Alex and reached out to grab at Alex's hand that hand just touched his head. His other hand was clinging to the bottle that I was helping him hold. The look in Alex's eyes as he held Tony's little hand just broke my heart and reminded me how hard it had been for me to let Alex leave my life eight years earlier. He was amazing with kids but he seemed really interested in Gretchen. And I was planning on moving to New York in the fall. I'd been working on getting licensed to teach in New York all summer and I was seriously considering moving there. Yes, I'd be farther from Maya and my nephews but every single one of Liz's emails and phone calls ended with "Anna, we really need you here. We don't know what to do without you. You're the only one who knows how to keep us on the budget that Tom Shepherd made us. You have to come help us."

I know they'll probably abuse me and ignore me as much as ever. But it feels nice to be needed. The only time I've ever felt needed before was when I was with Alex. I feel needed when I'm teaching but I know that teachers are a dime a dozen; I'm replaceable. I want to be needed and wanted as a part of someone's life. And that shouldn't be my relationship with my nephews; they have parents. I'm just Auntie Anna and someday I'm not going to be that important to them. I need someone who makes me feel that important and that wanted just because. That used to be Alex Wentworth's job. And now, no one does that for me.

"Tony, you're supposed to make sure your Aunt Anna never stops smiling." Alex's voice broke through my thoughts and brought me back to the kitchen and my nephew. Reality is a bitch.

"You used to smile more," Alex remarked calmly as we walked towards the living room after Tony finished his bottle.

"My life used to be happier," I replied.

"What happened?" he asked. "The last time I saw you it seemed like you had everything going for you. You were heading to Northridge and you were going to become an elementary school teacher. You were going to stay near your family and be able to help them as much as possible. And now you're teaching elementary school. Why isn't your life happy?"

I refused to look at him, instead focusing my energies on my nephew in my arms. "Let's just say a few things have changed since you walked out of my life eight years ago. Things in the Eliot family are not perfect and sometimes being the only rational one in the family can take its toll on your sanity."

"Generally, that's a reason to escape from your family."

"And you would just leave Josh and Tony behind to fend for themselves?"

"They have Maya and Kevin," he said flatly.

I rolled my eyes. "Kevin is a good dad."

"I think you sell Maya short a lot of the time because she's a little ditzy."

"And you like to think the best everyone. I've had a little more experience with reality around here than you have."

He sighed. "Whatever, I'm never going to win with you."

Alex had learned that lesson eight years earlier. In his mind I was a strong, stubborn, proud woman but in my own I was a weak coward. And it was for the same reason. I had rejected him because I was too weak, too pathetic, and too pitiful to stand up to my own family and friends. I should have told them that I loved Alex and that with love we can conquer all. But I didn't. Instead, my father told me that we would not ever have a "boy like that" in our family and Sarah told me that I could do better than Alex; I just needed to grow up a little bit. So I told Alex that we couldn't make it work and let him walk out the door. But I didn't want to be that girl anymore. I didn't want to make sacrifices for the sake of people who barely noticed my existence. I was sick of being used and abused by my family. At some point in my life I had to do something for myself. Something had to give or I was going to explode. Maybe I needed that trip to Chicago.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I hope you like it and I would really like to know what people think, get some feedback.


	7. Alex Interrupts Again

A/N: I do not own _Persuasion_. I do, however, adore reviews.

**Chapter Five: Alex Interrupts Again**

"_Mostly, we have manufactured ladies -- with the exception of Ingrid, Grace, Deborah and Audrey."_

_-Cary Grant_

Two days before we left for Chicago, I found myself in an interesting conversation with Gretchen and Marietta. I had gone over to their parents' house after a long week at the hospital, looking for some peace and quiet. I shouldn't have looked there. Anna had just left the house before my arrival and all the two girls wanted to do was talk about her. Apparently, they felt sorry for her because she was single and they wanted to find her a boyfriend. "She needs someone who is really smart," Marietta said.

"And good-looking," Gretchen added. "She needs to marry a gorgeous man."

"But you're always saying how average her looks are," her sister remarked.

"I know, but she's so sweet and nice that she deserves an amazingly handsome man. She is just average; she's not that pretty."

"She's prettier than Maya and Liz," was her sister's sharp retort.

I just sat there listening. Contrary to anything I might have said, I thought Anna was gorgeous. Her brilliant green eyes were still fascinating, even if some of the light had gone out of them. She was sadder than I'd ever seen her before. We'd been together for a year and a half back in college. And in those eighteen months, I'd never seen her look like she was about to cry for more than an hour. But for the past month and a half, I'd seen that sadness brimming to the point of tears every time I'd seen her. And I'd tried to ignore that sadness but making out with Gretchen. But that medicine does not cure the disease; it only puts it off until a later date. Gretchen is beautiful; there is no denying that. But I've learned that all that's inside her head is a lot of fluffy pink cotton candy. Try as I might to find the deeper meaning inside of her, Gretchen would never be a match for me. But I can't give Anna the satisfaction of knowing that. I can't let her know that the girl I'm using to get over her doesn't satisfy me in any way, especially intellectually. I realized that there is a difference between a pediatric neurologist and a socialite.

"We really wanted Kevin to marry Anna," Gretchen said. "They made such a good couple. But then Maya had to come along and ruin everything. And now he's married to the money-grubber. And Anna is still alone."

"When were Kevin and Anna ever likely to marry each other?" I asked.

"Years ago, it was back when they both first graduated from college. They dated for a while and things really looked like they were headed towards marriage," Marietta said quickly. Then she saw something on the couch. "Oh, look Gretchen; Anna forgot her crocheting. We should call her and give it back to her."

Marietta picked up a partially-finished pale blue blanket and smiled as Gretchen exclaimed, "It's so pretty. We have to get it back to her so she can finish it."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a baby blanket," Gretchen said. "Anna's good friend from school, Natalie Palmer is expecting her first baby in September. They're having a boy and because Anna and Natalie are so close, Anna is making the baby a blanket and a few other odds and ends."

"She makes amazing baby blankets," Marietta added. "She made blankets for both Josh and Tony. They're so beautiful; she did theirs in blues and greens and yellows. This one for Natalie's baby will be blue and white because those are the colors Natalie and Mike are decorating the baby's nursery in."

"I wish Natalie and Mike weren't in Ohio this summer," her younger sister exclaimed. "Anna is so much happier when she has friends around instead of just being bullied around by Maya and the rest of the Eliot family."

"Natalie and Mike Palmer are both teachers," the older sister explained. "Natalie's family is from Columbus, Ohio and her sister, Melissa, is getting married this summer, so Natalie and Mike headed back home for the summer to help out with things."

"Maybe while we're in Chicago, Anna can go over to Columbus for a few days to see Natalie."

"How would she get there?" I asked.

"I don't know," Gretchen said off-handedly, reminding me of just how ditzy she could be. "But it would be nice of Anna to see Natalie. She hasn't seen any of her friends all summer. All she's been doing is baby-sitting Maya and her children. It would be good for her to see someone who makes her happy."

"Her family just kicks her around like she's a dog or something," Marietta added. "But people like Natalie actually treat her like a real person. It drives my mother crazy. She loves Anna like a daughter and she's sick of the way Wally, Liz, and Maya treat her. It's like they don't care about her at all."

All this talk about Anna's hard life and her friend was interesting. I remember Anna crocheting a lot when we were dating. But I was still wondering what had happened between Kevin and Anna in the past eight years. How could a guy get really close to marrying a girl and then turn around and marry her sister? "Hold on a second," I said, holding up a hand. "I have a question and it has nothing to do with crocheting or babies or Anna's friend Natalie."

Both girls just stopped talking and stared at me. "What?" Marietta said.

"So, you mentioned that Kevin dated Anna before he married Maya. What the heck happened there?"

"You explain," Gretchen told her sister quickly. "It's a weird story."

Marietta sighed. "Okay, so basically, Kevin met the whole Eliot family about six or seven years ago at a benefit Wally hosted to raise money to fund ovarian cancer research. It's a pretty big event, happens every year and Wally always hosts it. My grandma Musgrove died from ovarian cancer the year before, so my dad had made a pretty sizeable donation to the charity and our whole family was invited to the benefit. While there, Kevin met the Eliot family and he immediately hit it off with Anna. They got to be friends really quickly. And we all thought they were dating for a long time before they actually started dating. She says they only went on three dates, but it's hard to say. They were the kind of friends that evolved into dating. But I think they went on more than three dates."

"They were so great together," Gretchen sighed. "They were cute together and they understood each other."

"And then Anna spent the summer in Ohio working on her master's degree. While she was gone, Maya managed to convince Kevin that Anna wasn't interested in him at all and that they should get together. After a couple months of this and not much contact with Anna, Kevin started dating Maya. So when Anna got home at the end of August to start working at the school where she works now, she found out that her sister was dating Kevin. And they were engaged by Christmas. Then they got married when Kevin was twenty-three and Maya was twenty-one. She graduated from college a year later right before Josh was born."

"And Anna hasn't dated anybody seriously since then," Gretchen added to conclude her sister's story.

"That sucks," I said. "That really just sucks for Anna."

"It really does," Marietta replied. I was starting to discover that Marietta could be far more compassionate and caring than her sister.

"But it's not like she couldn't get a boyfriend if she tried," Gretchen inserted.

As I watched her older sister roll her eyes, I realized something. The Musgrove sisters were not as close as everyone, including Gretchen, thought they were. The Gretchen genuinely annoyed her older sister. I'd seen Marietta roll her eyes at her sister numerous times. And I was starting to realize that Marietta did not like her sister as much as her sister liked her. That said Marie seemed to love her little sister, Eva. I could understand her frustration with Gretchen, especially when Marietta seemed to be smarter and more aware of the world around her than Gretchen. Gretchen, as I just said, had a head full of cotton candy, the names of people in her social scene, the movies that she wanted to see over the next week, and other frivolous tidbits that might see her through the next month or so of living off of her parents but wouldn't get her through life in the real world. In short, I was looking for a wife and there was no why Gretchen was ready to be anyone's wife, least of all my wife. I was going to be a pediatric neurosurgeon at Children's Hospital and while I could afford to have a trophy wife, I couldn't afford to be married to a complete airhead. According something Anna once said many years ago, you couldn't afford to be married to an airhead until you were on wife number three. Based on Anna's years in Hollywood, she had formulated a theory about how to marry if you wanted to be wealthy and famous. You married your first wife for money, your second wife was for power, and your third was for pleasure.

If that was true, then I needed to find a rich woman who could keep me happy and give me two adorably blonde children. But that wasn't what I wanted to do. For one thing with my Greek background, I wasn't sure I could have blonde children. And for another, I'd grown up in a family with two parents who loved each other and their children. I wanted a family like that. I wanted to marry a woman I loved and have a big family filled with love. I really did want to be a pediatric neurologist, but I also wanted the pleasure of being called "Daddy." Seeing Josh and Tony had really given me a desire to have the kind of moments that Anna had with her nephews and that Kevin had with his sons. The night when we'd watched _Braveheart_ had been great. Tony was such a sweet little guy and he'd held my hand for a while before falling asleep in Anna's arms. I could never have that future with Anna because of the way she'd rejected me. There were nights when I found myself dreaming of an alternate universe in which Anna and I could actually make things work. But then I woke up in the reality that we could never make things work. It was a world where she was too close to her family to ever give me a chance, a world where a deathbed promise to her mother took precedence over her needs and desires. I had watched her do this when we were dating years ago and now, I was watching her throw her health and life away to help people who didn't give a rat's ass about her. And that was probably what bugged me the most. She had friends, she had a job, but these people still expected her to make them the center of her universe even though they never did the same for her. While I was still angry at her for the way she had treated me, it was hard for me to see people treat her like this. I think there is a part of me that will always want to protect her. I'm not saying that I'll always love her but I think I'll always feel an attachment to her. She was the first girl I ever really loved and she was also the first person to break my heart. And that definitely gives us some bizarre connection to each other. That might sound weird but I think it's true. I think that you will always have a connection to the first person who broke your heart.

* * *

Later that day, while I was still at the Musgroves' house, Anna came over with Josh and Tony. "Kevin and Maya have some work party thing tonight," she explained to Gretchen. "So I'm taking the boys to the park to play for a while but I wanted to pick up my crocheting before I left. I need something to do once I get the little guys to bed tonight."

I was still sitting around the living room but now I'd been upgraded to watching movies with Eva and Jonathan Musgrove. Their parents were at the same dinner party thing as Kevin and Maya, so theoretically Gretchen was babysitting them because Marietta was out with Jackson Hayter and Benjamin Musgrove was at a party and his fourteen-year-old brother, Nick, was playing some video game with a bunch of his friends. So while Gretchen painted her toenails and pretended to supervise her younger siblings, I was actually supervising/entertaining them. We were watching _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_, but Eva paused the movie when Anna came inside with the little boys because "Josh is scared of it. Mom doesn't let them watch it, obviously; they're way too young. But Josh saw a couple minutes of it once and it really scared him." She smiled at me. "Plus, Anna doesn't want them watching movies like that and I understand what she's thinking there."

Anna looked so responsible, too old for her twenty-eight years. She had her glasses on and her short dark brown hair was in a ponytail that looked altogether too matronly for her age. Her clothes were the same Audrey Hepburn-esque classically elegant pieces she'd worn in college. That day, she was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple light blue t-shirt. She was beautiful; she had such classic, timeless looks, but she looked so sad. I didn't understand her life anymore. I didn't understand why she let people walk over her all the time.

* * *

Late that night, I walked into my sister's dark house knowing that Sophia and Harrison were both in bed by now. Lying on the floor of the foyer was a piece of paper. I picked it up; it was a page from a manuscript, probably one of my sister's. In the middle of the page was an italicized section, set apart from the rest of the text. I read the words, which were from a Tennyson poem. Anna loved Tennyson; I remembered that from an English class she took her last semester at Berkley. Sophia wasn't crazy about him but maybe she was using him as a literary device. The poem seemed like it could be used like that.

_We are not now that strength which in old days_

_Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;_

_One equal temper of heroic hearts,_

_Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will_

_To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield._

-_Ulysses (lines 66-70) Alfred, Lord Tennyson_

I didn't read the whole page, but it looked like my sister was writing a different kind of story. Most of her stories were about good triumphing and happy endings. But this story didn't look like it would necessarily have a happily ever after. The one line of dialogue that caught my eye read "And then Meghan sighed as she looked at Gregory. 'It's just not reasonable or rational,' she told him severely. 'We're too different people living different lives. Just forget it; we could never make it work.' Her dark eyes grew darker as tears brimmed to the surface and she turned her head away. Gregory's gaze remained fixed, steady, and emotionless. But before he could say anything, Meghan had walked away from him."

I could completely relate to this Gregory character that my sister was writing. Okay, so I'd been the one who had walked away when Anna was explaining why we couldn't be together. But I'd been justified. She was being an idiot. She threw away everything we had because of her family. I couldn't understand that. I had to walk away from her. At the age of twenty, there was no way I could agree to play second fiddle to a girl's family for the next fifty or sixty years. And even now I'm not sure I could do that. To marry me, a girl has to have her priorities in line. She also had to know her own mind and keep her promises. In short, I could never marry Anna Clarissa Eliot. She's too indecisive and unreliable when it comes to keeping her promises.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, I gave my sister the sheet of paper I'd found the night before. She took it wordlessly and nodded. I gathered that she'd rather I'd not seen that page. But Sophia was always rather protective of her manuscripts; she didn't even like it when Harry saw them. She rarely let anyone read them other than her editor. Sophia's editor, by the way, is crazy. She has the weirdest concept of time. She does really well with the whole keeping Sophia to her deadlines thing but she's famous for calling her writers at like three in the morning. Estella, that's her name, also chain smokes. Both of the two times I've met her she was smoking cigarettes that were coated in bright red lipstick. She stroked my cheek and called me "Alex, dahling." She also offered to kiss me before Sophia told her to keep her lips to herself.

Sophia was actually on the phone with Estella when I finished my breakfast. I could hear her distinctively nasal Midwestern voice through the phone. Estella only had two volumes: louder and painfully loud. "When are you coming to New York?" she bellowed. "We need to talk about your next book."

"I'm planning on being there in August or September," she said. "But Estella, I'm not really working on anything right now. I have a couple of ideas floating around in my head."

"And on your computer, I hope," I heard Estella hiss.

"Yes, they're on my computer," Sophia said with a frustrated sigh.

"Good, then bring them to New York with you when you come. We'll have coffee and talk. I want to see these ideas. You haven't published in over two years; you have to stay in the public mindset. You don't want these people to forget about you."

"Harper Lee published one book in her whole life and the public has never forgotten her. And on the other hand, do you think that Sophie Kinsella or Danielle Steele will remain famous after they die? One profound piece of literature in a lifetime is better than publishing dozens of second-rate fluff pieces."

I didn't hear Estella's response to that but a few minutes later, I heard my sister add, "And I hate those ridiculous talk shows you make me go on all the time. I have better things to do than to talk to people about how I have a completely boring personal life. Maybe I should have a baby or something."

"But that would interfere with your writing!" the editor rasped her protest.

Honestly, I had never considered the idea that Harrison and Sophia might have a baby. I had just always thought of them as a married couple and that was that. For some reason, I never thought of my sister as capable of having children. I don't know why; I just never thought it was a possibility in her life. What would I do if Sophia and Harrison had a baby? I had never contemplated the idea that my big sister and her husband would want a family. Harrison was sixty and somehow I had just automatically written him off as too old to be a dad. I didn't know if my sister was just joking around but this new idea that had entered into my head was befuddling. What would happen if my older sister became a mother? My older brother, Nicholas, was married and had two sons and a daughter, but he was a Greek Orthodox priest and everything in his life was so different than anything in Sophia's life or in mine. It was natural to me that Nicholas was married and had two energetic sons and one adorable daughter. But the idea of Sophia with a child hadn't entered my head since she gave her up her dolls over twenty years ago.

* * *

The next morning, we boarded a flight bound for Chicago. Due to some mix-up with the tickets, it was necessary that one of us had to sit separately from the rest of the group. This separate seat had been assigned to Gretchen but she threw a fit and started crying in the aisle of the plane when she realized that she wouldn't be able to sit with the rest of us. As Gretchen threw herself at me pounding my chest and sobbing, Anna spoke up without hesitation. "Oh, Gretchen, take a deep breath and calm down. I'll sit in your seat and you can take mine. Don't worry about it."

Immediately, Gretchen wiped her face and a bright smile lit up her face. She bounced into her new seat, which was next to me. "Isn't this fantastic?" she enthused. "We get to spend the whole plane ride sitting next to each other. I'm so excited; we can talk about so much."

"It'll be great," I said, knowing how unenthusiastic I sounded. My eyes fell on Anna sitting by herself in between two businessmen in suits who looked like they would never give anyone other than their laptops a second glance during the next four or five hours.

"I love flying," she continued in her ramble. "The window seat is always my favorite. Oh, Anna is sitting in the middle. That sucks for her; I'm so glad she's sitting there instead of me. I would have hated it and here I can have the window seat and talk to you."

Poor Anna, I thought. Gretchen didn't deserve what Anna had done for her. It was something simple, a seat on an airplane. But it represented something so much larger. Time and again, Anna did little things for Gretchen, and for so many other people, with no thanks. In all honesty, she made it nearly impossible for me to hate her. I could be as angry as I wanted over the way our relationship ended. But her life was too pitiful, too pathetic for me to hate her. She was a good person who always put other people first. In the past two months, I had never seen her make a selfish move. She helped other people; she was turning into a saint in front of my eyes. And I couldn't bear to watch it. I fixed my attention on Gretchen and tried to ignore the fact that my ex-fiancée was not far away and probably absolutely miserable

A/N: Please review! I need the encouragement. I hope you guys like this.


	8. Exploding Inside

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_; I know I keep telling you that but I have to make sure that you understand.

**Chapter Five: Exploding Inside**

"_I remember one day sitting at the pool and suddenly the tears were streaming down my cheeks. Why was I so unhappy? I had success. I had security. But it wasn't enough. I was exploding inside."_

_-Ingrid Bergman_

* * *

So I forgot to mention this before, but I have a relative who lives in Chicago, or at least he has a house there. His name is William Eliot Walters and he is my dad's cousin's son. Liam, as he prefers, is an aspiring actor who is married to a fairly wealthy woman whose father owns a chain of small grocery stores in Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois. He married her about six or so years ago after a long and elaborate flirtation with my sister, Liz, which involved far too much alcohol and that, back in the day, Alex and I did not spend nearly enough time mocking. But I suppose that we planned our relationship, and theirs, lasting forever. We were planning on a lifetime of happiness and insulting my sister's ridiculous affair with the only man I've ever met who was more self-centered than Liz and only slightly less self-absorbed than Wally. I've only met Liam a few times; mostly I just saw pictures of him and was forced to listen to endless stories about his wonders. And then he met Miss Grocery Store and we never saw him again. It was an American Tragedy.

But Miss Grocery Store's father's money allows Liam to own homes in the Bahamas, New York, and Chicago in addition to an apartment in Paris. The man has everything, including two absolutely adorable blonde daughters. Or at least that's the way things seem from the requisite Christmas cards that he sends my father every year. Every year he sends us a Holiday Greeting Card that has some universally friendly message like "Peace on Earth and Good Wishes from the Walters Family: Liam, Rebecca, Maddie, and Alexis." But then we recently heard that Rebecca was in a car accident and died, leaving Liam alone with Maddie and Alexis. But he had been the sole beneficiary of her will and her life insurance policy so the death of Miss Grocery Store aka Rebecca had been substantially beneficial to Liam.

But this past Christmas we still received a card with a cutesy picture of Maddie and Alexis, who are now four and six, but the message on the card simply read "Our Warmest Wishes for a Peaceful Holiday Season from the Walters Family: Eliot, Maddie, and Alexis." Apparently, Liam was now going by W. Eliot Walters to cash in on whatever celebrity he can gain from being connected to The Wally Eliot. I'm not sure what there is there, but apparently he's trying to get something. But that's just typical Liam. He'll do whatever he can to get what he wants. And there's no one I can laugh about this with. So I'll just keep this all to myself. When I'm alone in my hotel room at night, then I'll laugh over my memories of my sister's ridiculous exploits. But I'll keep it to myself; there's no one going on this trip to Chicago who understands my family or my life, least of all Alex Wentworth.

* * *

The first night we were in Chicago, we had dinner with Alex's friends, Matt and Barbara Hughes and their three children. Teresa was five, James was three, and Kathryn was a little over a year old. Those three little kids were absolutely adorable; I wanted to hold them and play with them for hours on end. But instead, I was sitting in a nice Italian restaurant with the three cuties, their parents, Alex, Maya, Kevin, Gretchen, Marietta, and a few other friends of Alex's, including a very nice but extremely quiet young man named Ben Williamson. Ben was short for Benedict, which he explained was because his parents were devoutly Catholic and his father hoped that in naming him after St. Benedict they would inspire him to become a monk. Instead of becoming a monk, he had fallen in love with Matt Hughes's younger sister, Kathryn, and they'd made plans to get married. But they had decided to wait until he finished pharmacology school. "So we got engaged when I finished my undergrad and we were going to get married once I had my master's degree. But then, right before I graduated, Katie was diagnosed with brain cancer; she was gone in less than six months," Ben told me as we sat next to each other at dinner.

"That's so sad," I said.

"It was horrible; all I've wanted to do since she died is find a way to be with her," he replied. "I finished my master's degree and I've been worked for a pharmaceutical company in Germany since then so I can be closer to Matt and Barb and the kids. It makes me feel closer to my Kathryn to see Matt and his kids, especially little Kathryn."

"How long ago did Kathryn die?" I asked.

"Three years ago," Alex inserted from his seat across the table.

Our eyes met and I realized that there was something seriously wrong in this situation. It was hard to get over an ex, no matter what the situation. And I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to watch the love of your life die. But moving to another country to be with their family, I couldn't do that. Alex's parents might live in Greece but if he had died when we were dating in college, I never would have moved there to be with James and Irene. But I guess the fact that Matt and Barbara had named their youngest daughter after Matt's dead sister might have inspired Ben to move to Germany.

"The past three years have been absolutely miserable, but they have given me a deeper appreciation for poetry," Ben admitted. "I've been reading a lot of poems, especially from the British Romantic era as well as numerous other eras that I've never really looked at before. I've never really read much poetry until the past three years and now I'm really getting into it."

"That's great," I said. "I have a degree in English and Elementary Education so I've read a fair bit of poetry in the past several years."

"What do you think of the British Romantics?" he asked.

"I can't stand most of them," I replied honestly. "Blake drives me nuts, and the rest of them, especially Coleridge and Wordsworth, just aren't into what I like."

"Oh man, I love Coleridge," was his eager response.

"He's too depressing for me. I like someone who acknowledges that while there are bad things in life, it doesn't completely suck. I don't like reading poetry that just focuses on how much life sucks. Stop looking out the frosted window and start looking at the amazing baby in the cradle and all the possibilities that exist for both of you. And even if your world is hopeless, his is just beginning and his life could be so amazing. Look at the baby in the cradle and see the positive side of life."

"But what if all that lies ahead for that baby is an early death or unfulfilled dreams? What if he's going to have a hopeless, empty future or get his heart broken by some horrible tragedy? What is the point of living then?"

I sighed. "And what if he is supposed to find the cure for cancer? What if you would tell someone not to give birth to a child who is supposed to save the world from something or for something? That child's life shouldn't be destroyed just so that someone else doesn't get hurt or on the off chance that the child might get hurt later in life. What would this world be like if little Kathryn or James or Teresa hadn't be born?"

I saw him glance over at the three little Hughes children; Alex's eyes followed his and I momentarily saw something in his eyes that I almost never saw, even when we were dating. Occasionally when he was looking at a baby this look would fall over his face and he'd look so peaceful, so happy. You'd never see him look like that any other time but you could tell that he wanted to be a dad. He was sitting there with his arm casually draped around Gretchen's shoulders but he was paying little attention to her and instead, focusing his attention on his friends, on Matt and Barb and Ben. As far as I could tell, Gretchen was still very interested in Alex but his interest in her seemed to be decreasing. He was still very attracted to her physically but beyond that, he seemed to be losing interest in her, looking for something else. And sooner or later, Gretchen was going to catch on to the fact that Alex wasn't interested in her and things were going to get messy. Gretchen had never given a guy up without a fight even if he'd lost interest in her.

* * *

After dinner that night, we went back to the house where Ben Williamson and the Hughes family were staying. They were staying in a big, old house that belonged to Barbara's friend, Melissa Baker, who was in Ohio for her wedding. Melissa Baker happened to be my friend Natalie Palmer's younger sister. As it happened, Melissa was marrying Ben's older brother, Gregory. "So when are you going to Ohio for your brother's wedding?" I asked him as we all sat around in the living room.

"I'm just going the week before the wedding," he said. "Melissa's family is there now but I don't think I need to be there until right before. Men are always in the way when it comes to weddings."

"So true," Matt said. "I think Barb's mom kicked me out of the house at least four times the week before out wedding."

"I wasn't allowed anywhere near any sort of wedding planning stuff before our wedding," Kevin admitted. "My mom was afraid I'd make a mess out of something."

"Well you would have!" Maya yelled.

Marietta was nodding vigorously in agreement as Gretchen said, "You would have broken the centerpieces if Anna hadn't thrown you out of the house."

"That's the truth," I said. "Kevin had almost broken all the centerpieces the morning of the wedding when he came into the reception hall where Marietta, Gretchen, Eva, and I were setting up the centerpieces. He was moving around too much and threatening to unconsciously run into something and break it or do something equally disastrous. So we sent him back to the church to get ready for the wedding."

"It was ridiculous," Gretchen said. "And he was such a guy about the whole thing. It was so stupid; it was like he didn't know that glass is breakable."

"The centerpieces at the wedding were glass bowls filled lemons and roses. They had been on a cart that Kevin kept bumping into," Marietta explained.

"It was pretty stupid of him," her younger sister added.

Marietta sighed; I could see that Gretchen was starting to get on her nerves. I think Gretchen was honestly starting to drive everyone a little nuts. Alex was trying to get away from her but she wouldn't leave him alone. She barely gave the poor guy enough time to go to the bathroom. I was a little worried about what ideas she would get from sleeping in the same hotel as her darling "Alex-poo." But she was sharing a room with Marietta and me, so we might actually be able to keep her in check. I was also going to have to make sure that Marie didn't spend the WHOLE night on the phone with Jackson. Jack and Marie were getting pretty serious and talking about getting married the following summer, or maybe even at Christmas if they could find a church. He was starting seminary in the fall; he'd settled on the Baptist church after several months of trying to decide which denomination he wanted to affiliate himself with. But he'd been raised Baptist and had ultimately decided to return to his roots. This thrilled his parents and made Marie happy because she knew that they had plans. Maya was angry because she didn't want to be associated with a minister. Her social life could be destroyed by being associated with him, apparently. I happened to like Jack and I thought that he'd be a good minister. And he'd make a good husband for Marietta regardless of what my sister said. She wanted Marie to marry Alex but that was only because she didn't want Marie to marry Jack because he was "beneath" her. Whatever that means…

* * *

Back in our hotel room that night, I had to listen to Marietta talking to Jack on the phone while Gretchen told me about her feelings for Alex and his recent loss of interest. "At first, it seemed like we had a really good thing going, you know?" she said as she munched on licorice whips that we'd bought on our way back to the hotel due to some craving Marietta was having. After I nodded, she continued. "He seemed, like, really, really interested in me. We talked a lot; we spent time together. I guess we went on a couple dates. And he seemed to like me. Yeah he talked about a lot of boring stuff, like his job. Brains are so boring and gross, especially kids' brains. Who cares about brains? It's not like they actually matter or anything. You know?"

"You know?" was Gretchen's favorite phrase. She said it the way most ditzy girls said "like." And she was incredibly insensitive. Did she really think that I wanted to sit there and listen to her ramble about her boy problems? Before she started talking, I had been trying to read Lipstick Jihad, a book that Ben Williamson had recommended to me and loaned me after dinner. It was about life as a young woman in the Islamic Republic of Iran and was pretty darn interesting. And it was far more interesting than whether or not my ex-fiancé was interested in a twenty-one-year-old California socialite. But instead, I politely listened to her ramble that was frequently interrupted by munching on licorice.

"I just don't know what's making him lose interest. I'm hot; I've got great boobs. My clothes are exactly what In Style and Cosmo recommend. Why isn't he paying as much attention to me? I thought we'd have made to second base, at least by now. Anna, be honest with me; if you were a guy would you want to do me?"

I sighed. I never wanted to think about that idea ever again in my life. Thinking about what you would do if you were a guy is just weird. I don't tend to sit around thinking about the kind of women that would attract me if I were a lesbian or a guy. I'm a straight woman and that's that for me. I've never thought about whether or not I'd find Gretchen sexually attractive. And it wasn't really something I wanted to think about, especially at midnight and after traveling most of the day. "I don't known, Gretchen. I'm a woman who is attracted to men. I've never thought about what kind of girls I might be attracted to in the extremely unlikely eventuality that I could be male."

She rolled her eyes. "But you have to think about these kinds of things. Didn't you ever experiment with any of that stuff when you were in college?"

I shook my head. "Nope, it never really was something I wanted to do. I knew I was attracted to men and that was that."

"You're so weird. Your life is just so boring. How can you live with yourself?"

"I sleep at least eight hours a night and I don't do things that I'll live to regret."

"Like I said," Gretchen said as she brushed her blonde tresses. "You're boring."

* * *

The next morning, we spent most of the day at Navy Pier. Marietta and I spent time together while the couples canoodled. "You realize how stupid my sister is?" my companion asked as we ate ice cream while watching the two couples snuggle and look out at Lake Michigan. "Alex doesn't even like her anymore. I'm not saying this because I'm jealous of her or something like that. It's not that I want what she has. I'm just being honest."

I nodded. "I know. But you know your sister. She won't give up anything easily. She knows what she wants and she won't go down without a fight."

"Look at him," Marietta insisted. "Just look at Alex; watch the two of them together. He isn't paying attention to her."

And Marietta was right. Gretchen had her arm around Alex and he had his arm around her but he wasn't looking at her. He was watching the lake and the families milling around the Pier. Matt and Barb were there with their three children along with Ben Williamson. Teresa and James were bounding around everyone looking for attention while Kathryn was napping in her stroller. A few minutes later, Teresa came over to Alex and began, by actions rather than words, begging for attention. "Children are so obnoxious," Gretchen whined. "I can't stand my younger siblings. They're so silly and loud. They don't do anything useful or worthwhile."

"I love kids," Alex replied as Marietta and I approached them as we strolled along. "I have two nieces in Seattle and I love spending time with them. Elena and Iris make me so happy; I love the two of them so much. They bring so much joy into my life and they're so adorable." Then he picked up Teresa and kissed her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's kind of like getting to see these guys. I almost never see them, but I've known Resa since she was born and she is an amazing kid."

Gretchen shot the five-year-old a suspicious look and shrugged. "I guess; but I don't ever want to have kids. They're too annoying."

"That's why that relationship is failing," Ben Williamson said, taking my arm and leading me away from Marietta who was now talking to Maya.

"Because she doesn't want kids?" I asked.

He nodded. "It's that and a million other things. She isn't what he thought she was but he doesn't know what to do about her. He doesn't think she's very serious about her so he's not too worried about it. I think he's fine and has nothing to worry about. She's just a ditzy blonde."

Guys don't understand that all women, even ditzy blondes, have feelings and thoughts. Gretchen might look like there is nothing under the nice clothes and expensive cosmetic products, but she has thoughts and feelings. They might not seem very important but if you're the one who has to listen to her cry over the lasted guy to dump her for a girl who has a higher limit on her credit card and whose daddy will actually buy her new boobs for her birthday. But guys are idiots; it's hard to explain things like this to them. They don't understand the way girls are jealous of each other. Kevin doesn't understand his wife's jealousy of his sisters. Alex never could understand why I can't stop helping my family, especially Wally and Liz. But it's part of being a woman; it's just something he wouldn't understand. Guys can't understand how incredibly simple women really are.

* * *

The next few days were fun; I spent a lot of time with the little Hughes kids. They were just fantastic kids and I loved their parents too. They were just a good, solid family. Barbara and I spent a fair bit of time playing with her children and talking. I learned a lot about her that week. She was from a small town in northern Michigan called Meryton; it was a resort town near Lake Michigan. "It's a really nice place for vacations, especially for families. There are three big resort hotels; there's the Netherfield, Longbourn Estates, and Lucas Lodge. It's a really great area. The first time Matt and I ever took Alex up there to visit he was amazed; he didn't realize that there were parts of the country like that."

"He's a city boy from Seattle," I told her. "What do you expect of him? How much traveling do you think he's done? But then I'm a city girl from Los Angeles so I'm not sure I can really talk."

She smiled and adjusted Kathryn on her hip. "Alex has experienced more of the world in the past few years than you'd think."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"He comes off as really quiet and almost naïve," she replied. "You might not want to admit that you think he's kind of stupid but a lot of people think that he's naïve or inexperienced. But he has really been through the mill. I wish Ben would talk to Alex about stuff more. I think it would do both of them a world of good."

"Why?" I asked.

"They've both loved and lost, so to speak. You've heard about Ben and Matt's sister, I assume?" After I nodded, she continued, "And while he never talks about it, I think that something happened some years ago between Alex and a girl. All he's ever told Matt or me is that there was a girl back in his early college years. I think things were pretty serious between them but he's never really said anything about it. He doesn't like to talk about it or anything else that happened to him in California, when he was at Berkley."

"That sucks," I said, refusing to look directly at one.

"Yeah, I think that has a lot to do with why he transferred to Michigan after Berkley. He left because of her." Barbara had no clue how close she was to the truth. Alex had left Berkley because of me; it didn't matter that I was already leaving Berkley. He had left regardless. We had too many memories caught up there for him to stay. We met at Berkley; we played Frisbee there. We went on our first date there. And we had so many memories in the city of Berkley, not just at the school. And there were numerous memories of spur of the moment trips down the beach. They were often when I had a big test coming up and Alex couldn't get me to stop studying. He always told me that I was being too serious and that it wouldn't kill me to stop studying for a Saturday afternoon so I could spend some time at the beach with my "handsome, intelligent, funny boyfriend."

And after fighting and squabbling for close to an hour, he'd always win and we would go to the beach. There were so many pictures of us at the beach and doing the typical things that couples do in California. And somewhere, probably in the attic of Kellynch, I dried and saved all the innumerable bouquets of flowers that he gave me over the two years we were together. I should have burned them or thrown them away or turned them into potpourri. But I didn't; I kept each of them. And there were a lot of them. Alex has amazing taste in flowers and he used to get me flowers at least once a week. I don't know how he afforded it but he did it just the same-and usually over my protests about the cost.

* * *

I liked Matt and Barbara so much that I cancelled my plans to fly home early. Three days before we were supposed to leave, I found out that I had a job interview in New York the day we were planning on leave. I had been secretly working in getting certified to teach in New York since Alex's arrival at Kellynch. If he was going to stay, I had to leave; there was no way we could peacefully coexist long-term. So I explained things to Kevin and he helped me change my flight so that instead of flying back to Los Angeles I could fly to New York. Then he called my sister, Liz, and told her to make sure that I got picked up from the airport so I could go to my interview. And because my brother-in-law really is just absolutely fantastic, he made sure that Barb Hughes took me shopping so I had some nice clothes to wear to my interview.

"So you might be moving to New York?" Ben Williamson asked me at dinner that night.

"My dad and my older sister live there so I'm thinking about moving there to be closer to them."

"Are you closer to them than you are to Maya?"

I shrugged. "It's complicated. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm closer to one or the other. But while Maya thinks she needs me, she has the Musgroves to help her so now I'm going to where I'm needed more."

"So you're kind of like a modern-day Mary Poppins?" he queried.

"Well, I don't really deal with children all the time," I said while laughing.

"But you're usually dealing with childlike personalities," my brother-in-law quipped.

This really made me laugh and as I burst out laughing, I unconsciously leaned towards Ben. As I did so, I realized that he smelled amazing. And he looked fantastic in his dark jeans, gray AC/DC t-shirt, black blazer, and red Converse All-Stars. He looked like a rock star or something. And it was, to be honest, pretty sexy. Normally I didn't go for the rocker look and I never would have thought it would look good on a pharmacist. I usually prefer it if my pharmacist wears business apparel. But I could let that rule slide with Ben. He was one of those people who were born to be the exception to the rule.

Alex, on the other hand, was the stereotypical boy cast aside for the sake of "something better." He had become angry, vengeful, and spiteful. He had stopped loving me and become obsessed with his desire to hate me. He never would have admitted that but it was true. If I knew Alex, he was probably only dating girls who looked nothing like me, or at least his memories of me. He probably had developed a thing against brunettes but chalked it up to they're "just not my type." And he probably refused to date girls with green eyes saying something like "they give me the creeps." But that was Alex. He was more in touch with his emotions than he would ever admit and that was a double-edged sword for him. He kept everything to himself because he didn't want to get hurt but he was going to get hurt because of that.

And he had a problem with the way I internalized my emotions and put myself after my friends and family. I think that this is frequently referred to as the pot calling the kettle black. _Et tu, Brute?_

* * *

That night we went down to Lake Michigan. As we walked along the sidewalk that ran along the shore, I found myself offering to push Kathryn's stroller. I was walking with Barb and we were talking about her life and the changes she'd been through over the past several years. "I got married a year out of college and had a baby. And then, right after Resa was born, we moved to Germany for Matt's job. James and Kathryn were both born over there. And we live in Munich, which is such a big city. I'm a small town girl; I went to college in Ann Arbor but that wasn't much preparation for a huge European city."

"Yeah, I grew up in Los Angeles, so big cities have always been normal to me. But there is something attractive to me about small towns," I told her. "I feel like there's something romantic or something about them."

"Romantic?" she laughed. "There is something romantic about the fact that Meryton is on Lake Michigan but I'm not sure it's really a romantic place. It was frustrating at times because there were always tourists there during the summer but during the winter it was a typical small town; we all knew each other. You didn't really have privacy or your own life. Everyone really did know your name and sometimes it was weird."

"I grew up in a town where people knew who I was but that was my father's fault," I said. "My dad is kind of famous, especially when I was younger. And he's definitely known in the Hollywood circles so I always felt like I was playing to a crowd. People had expectations for a girl whose father was a famous actor and whose mother was a world-renowned author who had the brilliance to die young and leave everyone wondering what more she could have done. All my English teachers expected me to be a brilliant author and the drama department was always trying to get their hands on me."

"I just had to live up to my three older siblings. My family is legendary for our scientific abilities and so by the time I came along, I had to live up to what they had done."

"My older sister wants to be Paris Hilton; I don't have to worry about those kinds of expectations," I said and Barb laughed.

"Did Maya have to live up to teachers' memories of you?"

I glanced at my sister who was clinging to Kevin's arm from fear of falling in the lake and dying. "Maya actually went to a boarding school so she didn't really have to live up to Liz or me."

"She went to boarding school but you two didn't?"

"She was younger than we were when our mom died so our dad sent her away but he felt he could handle us."

"And could he?" she asked slyly.

I laughed. "I spent most of my teenaged years shoved off on my godmother and Liz spent most of her time at other people's houses. But that was his way of handling his children."

Just then, someone grabbed my arm. "Excuse me, miss, could I speak to you?" a voice said behind me.

I turned around to see a vaguely familiar, good-looking man standing behind me. He was tall, had blonde hair and big blue eyes. The Mystery Man was very well dressed and he looked familiar, like I'd known him when he was younger or something. Maybe we went to kindergarten together. "Can I help you?" I asked.

"You might not remember me; but I saw you walking by and you looked really familiar," Mr. Mystery Man said. "And then I remembered that you were in Chicago for a couple of weeks, so I knew it had to be you."

I looked at him. Mr. Mystery Man had now been upgraded to Mr. Creepy Stalker Man. "I'm sorry but you were right about your first statement. I really don't remember who you are," I told him, clinging to Kathryn's stroller as though I could use it as a weapon, or something.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm Eliot Walters; you knew me as Liam Walters when I was younger but I'm going by Eliot these days, since Rebecca died."

Over his shoulder, I saw Alex's eyebrows shoot up. But I kept my face and voice level. "Sorry I didn't recognize you," I said quickly. "It's been years since I've seen you."

"I know," he replied. "It really has. Anyway, I don't want to interrupt you or bother you or anything but I saw you and I thought I recognized you. And I figured since we're cousins and all I should stop and say hello."

"Well, it was good seeing you," I began.

"And do give your father and Elizabeth my regards. I know things ended badly between us but I do still care about them."

"I'll let them know," I said. But then I remembered something. "How did you know I was in Chicago?"

"Oh, my girls and I just got back from Martha's Vineyard and we saw Sarah Russell there. She was so full of news about you, Elizabeth, and Maya. After so many years, it was wonderful to hear that you're all doing so well. I was surprised to hear that Maya got married before you did but maybe I'm just not good at predicting that kind of stuff."

"I suppose you're not," I replied stiffly, casting a quick glance over at Alex Wentworth. Maya and Kevin were still off strolling together somewhere in the distance while Matt had an exhausted James resting his head on his shoulder and Resa had her arms sleepily wrapped around the neck of the man whom I had learned that week was her godfather. Alex was a natural with kids; that was yet another thing I had lost out on when I kicked him to the curb.

Ben Williamson was standing nearby with Marietta and Gretchen. Marie was on the phone with Jackson, no doubt making romantic plans for the next time they were together. Gretchen was eyeing Alex, eagerly and yet with a hint of worry in her eyes. She knew that she was losing him and that he wasn't interested in coming back to her. But she wasn't ready to give up. And then I saw Liam Eliot Walters. The name change seemed pretentious to me but I didn't know the man that well. Maybe there was something connected to the name Liam and his wife. Or maybe there had been some special thing between the two of them involving the name Eliot. Whatever his reasoning was, I shouldn't judge his decision to go by his middle name. Maybe he had good reasoning behind that decision. I think that, in general, it is best to avoid judging others as much as possible.

* * *

After Liam, or Eliot, walked away, I soon found myself in step with Alex. He was still carrying the half-asleep Teresa Hughes and I was still pushing the definitely sleeping Kathryn in her stroller. "So was that Liam Walters?" he asked, suddenly breaking our silence.

I smiled and nodded. "I guess he's going by Eliot now."

"Is he gunning for your father's approval and money again?" He wasn't looking at me but I knew by his tone of voice that he was joking.

"Nah, he's probably after Liz's boob job," I replied, also joking.

"So she finally went and found someone to do 'the puppies'?" My older sister liked to call her boobs "the puppies." The first time I brought Alex home to meet my family Liz had been wearing a low-cut top and had offered to let him feel the puppies. Then, as he was about to decline, she informed him that they weren't in the shape that they should have been because she wanted to get them done but she hadn't found the right plastic surgeon yet.

"Wally had them done for her twenty-third birthday," I replied. "It was such a typical Wally moment. Most dads would give their daughters money or clothes or flowers for their twenty-third birthday, but not Wally."

"He always was special," he replied. "I was so terrified of him before I met him."

"And then you found out that he was just a pretentious buffoon," I joked. In those few moments, I realized that we had fallen back into our old ways. For the first time since the night I ended our relationship, we were completely comfortable together; it wasn't awkward. Maybe it was the two little girls. Whatever it was, I was glad we were comfortable together. And I knew that we both felt it. I looked down at the stroller I was pushing and smiled at the thought of the little girl inside.

"I don't think I understand him at all," he said.

I shrugged. "He's a good man underneath the layers of make-up, masks, and lies."

Alex didn't get a chance to reply because Ben Williamson came up beside me. "So I was talking to my brother and I just found out that you know his fiancée's sister, Natalie."

I nodded. "She and I worked at the same school."

"I've only met her a couple times but she seems great," he said.

"Natalie is a wonderful person and a fantastic teacher; I think you'd like her," I told him. "Her husband, Mike, is a really quality guy too. He has a strong personality and he's good for her."

I could see his smile in the dark; he rarely smiled but when he did, it was so worth the wait. He always wore such dark clothing and seemed so sad. I should know sadness; I feel like I'm constantly drowning in a sea of sadness. "All I really know about Mike is that he approves of my brother and says Greg can marry Melissa."

"Good, Melissa needs a good guy," I replied. "I met her a couple years ago and she seems like such a warm, sweet girl."

"She's amazing," he said. "And she completes Greg, which I love. They remind me of Kathryn and me."

I heard Alex sigh as he said that. I wanted to squeeze his hand reassuringly and let him know that it was all right; Ben needed to talk to a real person about his thoughts and concerns rather than reading depressing poetry and Gothic novels.

"I miss Kate so much," he said. "But I know that she's gone. I want to find someone like her, someone who can fill the emptiness in my life. Anna, do you know what I'm talking about? I want to be loved the way she loved me. She can't love me anymore and I want to be loved again. I know that the little kids love me but I want more than that."

"I know exactly what you mean," I said as I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

* * *

A/N: I know it's really long. I thought about breaking it up but I couldn't figure out where to do it. I hope you like it and I would really, really appreciate some feedback.


	9. When I Get Angry

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. However, I do love my reviewers. I'm so grateful to all of you for your support and encouragement.

**Chapter Six: When I Get Angry…**

"_People seem to have this fixed image of me. In a way, I think it's very sweet, but it's also a little sad. After all, I'm a human being. When I get angry, I sometimes swear."_

_-Audrey Hepburn_

* * *

I was scheduled to leave O'Hare airport at 7:30 PM the day after my run-in with Liam Walters. However, before that I still had to get through the day. And that was one of those days that reminded me of the truth behind the old adage "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Well, that day that was just as true as it had been throughout my entire life. When I got up that morning, my plan was to hang out with everyone until around four o'clock and then Matt was going to take me to the airport. Then I'd head to New York to my job interview and if I got the job, Alex would be out of my life forever. Well, unless Gretchen got him to fall back in love with her, but that didn't seem to be too terribly likely. At breakfast that morning, she was leaning against his shoulder, stroking his slightly scruffy cheek and commenting on how sexy his scruff was. All of this was while he and Matt were having a discussion about some college friend of theirs who was battling cancer.

After breakfast, Alex mysteriously disappeared upstairs for a good twenty or thirty minutes. And when he returned, his "sexy scruff" had vanished. It could just be me but it seemed like he was trying to send Gretchen a message. But like I said, it could just have been me thinking that way. "I still don't get why he spends any time around her," Ben said to me as we all headed out of the house.

"He doesn't realize that she's still interested in him," I replied. "He thinks that they're just in a friendly flirtation but she's doing everything she can to make everyone else think that he's actually interested in her."

"Okay, serious question for you," he said. The two of us were driving into Chicago in his car.

"What's up?" I asked.

"How do you understand Alex so well? Is it just natural feminine instinct or is there something deeper in your past that I don't know about?"

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. If Alex hadn't told his friends about our past, then maybe it wasn't my place to talk about it either. But saying that it was just natural feminine instinct wouldn't be a complete lie either. Some of what I pick up from guys just comes from being around people in the course of my life. "It's just natural girl instinct," I told him. "Why would you think that it could be anything else?"

"You two have more chemistry than most of the classes that I took in college," he replied. "When you guys were walking together last night with Kathryn and Teresa, you looked like a little family and it seemed so natural. When you two let your guards down, you have this natural flow of chemistry. Most couples would kill for your chemistry."

"Well, I don't think he's interested in me," I replied. "And I'm not really interested in him."

"Tall, dark, and handsome isn't your type, huh?"

"It's something like that," I replied.

"What about that guy last night?" Ben asked. "Is he your type?"

I laughed. "I'm not really much for the blond sex-god type. And that's what he thinks he is."

"What do you think he is?"

"Do we have to discuss me or can we talk about something else?"

"I'm curious," he replied with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Curiosity killed the cat," I said simply, folding my hands in my lap.

"And I, Miss Eliot, am not a cat. So, back to my earlier question, what do you think of the gentleman from last night? And does he have a name?"

"His name is Liam Walters," I replied. "But he prefers to use his middle name, Eliot."

"Does that mean you're related?"

"He's my second cousin, once removed, on my father's side. His mother is my father's cousin."

"That sounds promising," he said.

"And he's my sister's ex-boyfriend," I added.

Ben flinched. "That sounds awkward."

"It is legal," I told him.

"Things that are legal can still be awkward. For example, it is legal for me to kiss Alex in the middle of Macy's but that would be exceptionally awkward for all involved parties."

"But it might get Gretchen to leave him alone if she thought he was gay."

Ben laughed. "I'm not so sure; she seems to be pretty persistent. If she saw him kissing another dude, she'd probably decide that he was bi."

"So true," I said, laughing. "And she'd probably find that unbelievably sexy and chase him around even more."

"That would be even more awkward, especially if he really were gay."

"But it would still be legal," I reminded him.

"And I think we've proved our point. Things can be both legal and awkward."

As Ben smiled, I realized how comfortable I had become with him of late. I'd met him two weeks early but we were getting along really well. We had a very comfortable vibe to our relationship. I wasn't sure that it was anything but it was fun and comfortable. Things between Alex and I were once fun and comfortable with a little bit of sparkle. I'm not quite sure how else to explain it but when we were together, things between us sparkled.

* * *

We were going to the Shedd Aquarium that day. This guaranteed that Gretchen would be bored and trying to get Alex to take her somewhere else where they could be alone together and she could try to convince him that they were meant to be together. Unfortunately for Gretchen, Alex loves sharks; well he loves all sea creatures but sharks are his favorites. So, Alex, Ben, James Hughes, and I spent most of the day looking at sharks. It turned out that Ben is also a big shark fan. James wanted to spend time with Alex and Ben but he was also a little frightened by the sharks so he needed me there to protect him. Or so he told me…

But he did get frightened of their teeth pretty quickly so I picked him up and held him. Once he was in my arms James was perfectly content watching the sharks. After lunch, Alex realized that I was still holding James. "Anna, you've had him all morning. Do you want me to take a turn?"

"What do you think, buddy?" I asked "Do you want to spend some time with Dr. Alex?" Teresa and James both called Alex "Dr. Alex."

James looked at Alex for a moment and shrugged. "I like Miss Anna; she's pretty and she smells nice."

"And I don't smell nice?" Alex teased.

The little boy buried his face in my shoulder. "I just like Miss Anna better. I don't hate you but I like her more."

I smiled sympathetically at Alex. "Sorry, I guess sometimes being the pretty girl gets you points with the boys."

"Do you think you're prettier than me?"

"Well, I'm a girl and girls are always prettier than boys," I retorted quickly. I didn't want to get into my insecurity about my looks with Alex Wentworth of all people. Alex knew I thought my sisters were prettier than me. We used to talk about it a lot; he spent hours telling me how beautiful he thought I was. He loved my hair and my green eyes. He once thought that I was prettier than any other girl he'd ever known. He probably didn't think that way or feel that way anymore.

* * *

We looked at the sharks until Marietta called me saying that Gretchen was demanding to speak to Alex right away. It was two o'clock and I needed to leave soon. "Meet us where we were last night, by the sidewalks," Marietta told us. "Gretchen says she has to talk to him or she'll kill herself."

I relayed the message to Alex who sighed and ran his long fingers through his thick, dark hair. "That girl," he sighed. "Let's go do what we can to fix this."

"I'll take James," Ben said. "You don't really need me and he doesn't need to see whatever his aunt is doing. Go deal with Gretchen; we'll keep looking at sharks."

As I handed James to Ben, the little boy asked, "Can we go see Nemo fishies now?"

"Of course," Ben replied. He looked at Alex and me. "Go; I'll see you guys later. Oh, and Anna, good luck on that job interview. You deserve it; hopefully they'll really see that."

"What job interview?" Alex asked as we walked away.

"It's nothing," I said. "I just have a job interview at a private school near where Wally and Liz are living. It's tomorrow, so I'm flying out tonight."

"You're going to New York?" he seemed incredulous at this news.

I shrugged. "Maybe, I figured it's worth a shot. I applied for a couple jobs there and got my teaching certification for the city. Most of my family is there. Sarah has a job there starting in September. All that's keeping me in Los Angeles is Maya and she has the Musgroves. There's no real reason for me to stay there."

"What about your friend Natalie? Wouldn't she like you to stay?"

"Yes, but…" I sighed. "It's complicated, Alex; you wouldn't understand. Not to sound horribly pathetic or anything, but Natalie is the only friend I had out there. Maybe New York can be a new start for me. My book is almost finished and it's going to be published next spring. My editor is in New York; it'll just easier this way."

"If you really think so," he said as we finally reached the place on the lakeshore where we'd been the night before.

"There you are, baby!" Gretchen practically screeched as we approached. She grabbed Alex by his shoulders. "Baby, you have to tell Marietta she's wrong. She says you don't care about me. She says you just want to be friends. But baby, I know she's wrong. I know that you love me and you want to marry me. Don't you want to be with me forever? If you say no, I'll go jump in the lake right now!"

Alex took a deep breath and she took a threatening step towards the lake. "This isn't the way to talk about this or the place," he said firmly.

"I just want to know if you love me," she yelled. "I love you; I want to marry you and be with you forever. But my sister says you don't feel the same way. Tell her that she's a lying whore and that you love me."

"Gretchen, listen to me," he said slowly. "I don't want you to throw yourself in the lake and kill yourself."

"You don't love me!" she screamed, running away from him and trying to run down the cement steps to the lake. And then, in one horrible moment, she tripped and fell down the steps. My hands flew to my face and I felt like time was stopping as I watched her body bouncing down the steps. The screams escaping from her falling form were horrific and without really comprehending what I was doing, I began to hurry down the steps to help her, my cell phone in my hand. Alex came bounding after me, his longer legs moved faster than mine and he reached the bottom first. When we reached the bottom step, her body was crumpled on the sidewalk.

I hurried to her side as Marietta slowly made her way down to us. "We need an ambulance," I told Alex as I checked Gretchen's vitals. "And someone needs to call Kevin and Maya; are they still at the aquarium?"

"No," Marietta said slowly. "They went back to the house; Kevin was going to get your things together so he could just pick you up from the Shedd and drive you to the airport. That way you and Matt wouldn't have to drive back and forth to the house and the airport." My brother-in-law was a sweetheart. "And Maya was tired and sick of the fish."

Or his wife was a bitch. But she was my sister and I had other, more pressing matters to deal with. "All right, well, we need an ambulance right away. Alex, please call 911."

When he didn't respond, but simply kept staring at the crumpled but still breathing body in front of him, I punched the three numbers into my phone, hit send, and shoved the phone at him. When he still didn't respond, Marietta grabbed the phone and talked to the operator long enough to get an ambulance sent out our way. Then she sat down on the last step and started crying. I took my phone from her and shoved it in the pocket of my jeans. "They'll be here soon," I said, more to myself than to anyone else.

And I wasn't going to make it to my job interview the next morning. But I'd live. And hopefully Gretchen would live. Her life was far more important than my job. I still had my job in California and I could renew my lease on my apartment. I could stay there for another year or two. Another job opportunity in New York was bound to come along at some point. So I'd have see Alex more; it wouldn't kill me. I could find ways to avoid him. I could live in my old apartment and spend all my time around Natalie and Mike and people from that group of friends.

* * *

The ambulance arrived soon and Marietta went in it with her sister to the hospital. Alex and I followed in his rental car. "She'll be fine," I told him as we hurried back up the cement steps to the car. "The paramedics said the sooner they started treating a head injury the better and that we did all the right things with her. Don't worry; she'll be fine."

He shrugged. "It was my fault. Anna, it was my fault. None of it would have happened if I hadn't been more understanding of her feelings."

"Don't blame yourself," I sighed. "Gretchen has always been a bit of drama queen. You didn't know she was going to trip. It was an accident."

"You don't understand," he persisted. "I didn't understand her. I thought she was just a dumb, ditzy girl."

"And that was a mistake. But now isn't the time to worry about that. We need to focus on Gretchen's recovery, not throwing blame around."

"That's easy for you to say. You're one of those people who don't feel guilty about things for ages without end. You do something and then it's over. You don't beat yourself up over the things you've done or anything stupid like that."

"I don't?" I asked. "Where do you get off saying something like that?"

"How much time have you spent in the past eight years thinking about me?" he asked.

"How arrogant can you be?" I returned coldly. "You want me to document to you the amount of time I've spent thinking about you over the past eight years?"

"Oh, so you admit that I haven't really occupied much of your time since you threw me out of your life. Some things never change. I loved you, Anna. I wanted to marry you and I thought you felt the same way. But then it turns out that you really are just a cold, heartless bitch."

"Oh, that's rich!" I snapped back. "You spent two years telling me how important family is to you but then my family needs me and asks me to end our engagement, you just walk out of my life and start treating me like I'm the Wicked Bitch of the West. You never cared to find out why my dad asked me to end our engagement."

"I didn't need to ask! I already knew. You're an Eliot and the daughter of Wally Eliot so you could never marry someone from a lower social class. You never really loved me; I was just your dalliance with some boy from the other side of the tracks. Getting engaged was romantic to you but then you got a reality check from your dead and did the sensible thing that any spoiled brat princess would do. You dumped me and went back to clubbing with the other socialite princesses."

"You know nothing about me," I retorted sharply. "If you think I dumped you and went back to clubbing with all the other posers whose dads are famous actors, then you don't know me at all. I spent the rest of my college career pouring my life into my goal of becoming a teacher. And allow me to remind you that you were the one who helped me discover that dream; you were the one who encouraged me to ignore what my dad wanted and follow my heart. But you still think that I'm a party animal like my sister. You refuse to believe anything except what you want to believe. You hate me because it's easier than trying to actually examine the situation. I'm not saying that any of it was your fault. I was the one who bent to family pressures and ended our engagement. But you didn't have to react the way you did. And treating me like shit is completely uncalled for. It was eight years ago and it still is today. You could talk to me about things and try to understand where I'm coming from. Or you could at least treat me like a human being. But instead I'm still the Wicked Witch of the West." I paused for breath and took a brief look at Alex's startled face. I don't think he was expecting me to actually fight with him. But some things had changed in the past eight years. I might still let my sisters walk all over me but there was no way that I was going to keep letting Alex Wentworth treat me like shit. I wasn't going to have him running around under the idea that I was an emotionless witch who used and abused men for her pleasure. "And I've realized something in the past two months. You are an arrogant asshole. So we'll go to the hospital and then we'll go home and I'll just ignore you for the rest of our natural lives. And do you know why, Alexander James Wentworth? I cannot stand you and your stupid little attitude anymore. You act all kind, caring and compassionate but really, you're just a self-centered bastard looking for a good lay. So, just get me to the damn hospital and let's try to spend the rest of our lives peacefully ignoring each other."

"Wow," he said. "I never knew that Anna Eliot had that much emotion inside of her."

"Well, you thought wrong. I'm more than the cold, heartless bitch you imagine me to be. I happen to be a living, breathing human being. So just shut up and drive. You don't know me anymore, so don't pretend like you do or you even want to."

"It's amazing how similar you and Liz can be when you want to be," he muttered.

And then, I'd had it with him. "Alex, grow up!" I said harshly. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore. I don't have to sit here and listen to you insulting my family or me. I let you insult me before but that game is over. I'm sorry if your life is so pathetic that you have to insult me to feel good about yourself. But I'm through with you and your 'I hate the Eliots' attitude. Just grow up."

"Who are you and where did the girl I used to know go?" Alex sighed. "You used to hate your family as much as I do."

"It was different when we were dating," I replied. "You were a part of my life then and you understood what they were doing to me."

"And I don't now?" he snapped back. "Anna, let me tell you something; it's been eight years but their game with you is the same as ever. They expect you to jump at their every whim and make yourself a slave to them. You're not moving to New York because no one in Los Angeles needs you anymore. You're moving because they threatened you. Was it financial or emotional blackmail?"

"Maybe I'm just a girl looking for a chance to restart her life," I snapped back; I seemed to be doing that a lot of late. Alex was bringing out the worst in me.

"And going to New York where Wally and Liz are, that's going to help you restart your life?" Alex was almost screaming at me and I don't think he really cared. "If you want to restart your life, you need to get far away from your whole family, Wally, Liz, Maya, and the whole kit and caboodle. Just get away from them. Why can't you understand that?"

"Can't you understand that I love my family? I would leave them but I can't. I love them."

"Why? They don't give a shit about you."

"Aren't you a sweetheart?"

"You could move to Ohio, write in peace, teach first grade if you wanted to, and no one would walk all over you."

"Why would I go to Ohio?"

He paused and looked at me. "Didn't you go to graduate school there?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "But I don't have any friends there really. Natalie's family is there. But I'm not really that close to her family."

"Where do you have friends?"

"Los Angeles, I guess. Most of my friends have scattered around the globe."

He shook his head. "What are we going to do with you, Anna? God damn it, you're the most frustrating person I know."

"Then you don't know very many people," I retorted slyly. "You've surely never met most of my family."

"There you go again!" he said, slamming his hand into the steering wheel. "A guy tries to get mad at you because you're being a moron. But then you go and use your vicious wit and ridiculous rhetoric and you just leave the poor guy laughing at you. It's just not fair, Anna."

"You're my ex-fiance," I replied. "We're not supposed to have any sort of relationship anymore. We're never going to be able to be friends comfortably. We could be the sort of friends who have a comfortable chat over a mug of tea occasionally but we're never going to be able to be good friends. There's too much history between the two of us. Someday I'll meet a guy and get married. And you won't be comfortable with that."

Just then, he pulled the car into the hospital parking lot and we hurried inside to where Marietta was waiting for us. And my last few words simply hung in the air between us like a veil.

* * *

Gretchen was in intensive care and only family was allowed to see her. So when Kevin arrived with my suitcase, Alex decided that driving me to the airport was a better option than pacing back and forth and wearing out the tiles. So we drove to the airport in almost complete silence. I coughed once and he sneezed twice. Then, at the airport, we quickly exchanged cell phone numbers so he could make sure that someone kept me updated on Gretchen's health. "But it doesn't have to be you," I told him. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want. It's completely up to you."

"Have a safe trip," he replied. "And good luck on the job interview. I hope you figure out what you want."

"Thanks," I said. "Don't do anything stupid."

He nodded and waved before I walked away from him. And don't ask me why I told him not to do anything stupid. But with that done, I flew to New York. Earlier that week, I'd made arrangements with Natalie to have my things packed up and mailed to me if NYC if I got the job.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I hope you enjoy this and I'd love to see your thoughts.


	10. Alex Tries to Defend Himself

A/N: It's still not mine. But I love the story and my reviewers.

**Alex Tries to Defend Himself**

"_Surely we have always acted; it is an instinct inherent in all of us. Some of us are better at it than others, but we all do it."_

_-Sir Laurence Olivier_

"_We have all, at one time or another, been performers, and many of us still are - politicians, playboys, cardinals and kings."_

_-Sir Laurence Olivier_

* * *

Regardless of what Anna might say, I am not an arrogant asshole. I could understand where she might get that idea but she was wrong, completely wrong. I'm not arrogant and I'm not an asshole. I was thinking about Anna and our earlier fight my entire drive back to the hospital. Part of me wanted to turn the car around and race back to the airport. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to argue with her or just kiss the life out of her. So I drove back to the hospital and the plastic chairs where I could wait for news about Gretchen. As I sat in a hideously uncomfortable orange plastic chair and listened to Maya fussing about her self-centered fears for her sister-in-law, I realized something. Well, for one thing, Maya didn't care about Gretchen. She just wanted to be the center of attention. It was actually something the two of them had in common.

But the other thing I realized was that I wasn't even remotely interested in Gretchen. Unfortunately the girl I liked, probably even loved if I were ever honest with myself, thought I was an arrogant asshole. She would never give me the time of day again. And even if she would have, I didn't deserve her anymore. I couldn't, not after the way I'd treated her lately. I wasn't sure if I could even look myself in the mirror after having that woman had called me an "arrogant asshole." I didn't think I was. But there was something about being criticized by the woman whom I will always love, even if it is somehow against my wishes or will. Anna was a saint; she put up with so much crap from so many people. And all I ever did was to criticize her and throw myself at Gretchen Musgrove. I threw myself at Gretchen for two months and ignored one of the most amazing women in the world. I should have known better than that. When the most amazing woman you know is standing in front of you, you should never throw yourself at a sluttish socialite.

If you do that, you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it. Trust me; that night walking into the house we'd been staying at the past two weeks was awful. Matt and Barb were waiting up for me. If you remember that horrible feeling of walking into your parents' house at two in the morning and seeing your mom sitting there, in her nightgown, with her cell phone next to her and that look that just read "I'm so disappointed in you" plastered across her face, you might understand one-tenth of what I felt when I saw them. It was two o'clock in the morning, but neither of them was wearing their pajamas. Instead, Barb was wearing the same jeans she'd been wearing all day and a crumpled shirt that looked like Kathryn had spit up on it at some point that day. Matt, meanwhile, was wearing rumpled khakis and the t-shirt he'd been wearing under his dress shirt earlier in the day. Somehow two people wearing crumpled clothes when they should have been enjoying a well-deserved night's rest after a long day dealing with their children and the chaos of the Musgrove family. Instead, they were waiting up for me. "What the hell is going on?" Matt asked me as I tiredly approached the couch.

"Gretchen tripped on the stairs and hit her head," I said simply. "You know the rest of the story. She's in the hospital and her parents are flying in from California on a red-eye in the morning. And Anna went to New York for a job interview."

"I know all of that," he replied in his Serious Dad Voice, one that I'm sure Teresa, James, and Kathryn knew was not for messing around. "What confuses me is what your role in this has been. You've been playing games with Gretchen for the past two weeks and I'm not exactly quite sure why. She's completely wrong for you and yet she's been throwing herself at you for quite a while now. You treat her like it's a game and she thinks you mean more by it."

"She knows I don't mean anything by it," I snapped back quickly.

"You're wrong there," Barb replied coldly. "She thinks there's really something between the two of you. I've heard her talking to Maya and Marietta and Anna about how much she loves you and how she wants to marry you. And you're just playing her like a violin. She thinks you're interested in her. That's why she wanted to jump into the lake today. She thought you liked her and then lost interest in her. You broke her heart."

"I didn't know," I said. "I didn't notice."

"I noticed that you didn't notice," she snapped back. "You don't seem to notice too much about the women in your life."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She has been standing right in front of you, in plain sight for the past two months," Barb retorted. "She's your perfect match and you've just ignored her. And now she's gone. And you didn't even see her."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Who didn't I see?"

"Anna Eliot," she spat in my face. "She's the only girl I've ever seen you with who works that well with you, who understands your temperament that well. You two have a natural chemistry and you just insist on treating her like she's worthless to you."

"Don't make excuses," Matt said. "I know who she is to you. I've heard enough ranting from you about the girl who broke your heart to know who that woman is. Why won't you date brunettes? Why aren't girls with green eyes your type? I'll tell you why; because Anna Eliot is a brunette with green eyes."

"No," I said quickly backing away from Matt. "No, that's not true. She hates me; she told me today that I'm an arrogant asshole."

"Oh, so she's honest on top of everything else," my friend retorted. Before I could say anything, he continued, "You've been an asshole to her for the past two weeks; and I'm guessing, if the way you've been behaving the past two weeks is a fair representation of your general behavior towards Anna, that she probably has lost whatever respect she ever had for you."

I looked from Matt's face to his wife's. Neither of them looked happy with me. I felt like I had the night when I was sixteen and I went a party that my dad had told me he'd kill me if he heard that I'd been in 100 yards of it. Of course, I ignored him and went. I was invincible. There was no way my dad could or would ever know. But of course he did find out; our next-door neighbor was on the police force. And when the police were called, Officer Wilkes found me trying to run. The look on my parents' faces when he brought me home was the same one that I saw on Matt's and Barb's faces. There was anger but more than that was the flood of disappointment.

"Don't lie to me," he said in a firm, low voice. "I know what you're up to, Alex. You can lie to everyone you know and you can lie to yourself. But don't try to lie to me. I know you too well."

"She dumped me eight years ago," I retorted quickly. "She broke my heart. I hate her."

"I didn't know you had the emotional maturity of an eight-year-old who just lost a kickball game to a girl," Matt remarked back in a snide, bitter tone. "I don't think you hate her at all. I think she hurt you and you reacted by turning into a spoiled brat. You treat her like she's lower than pond scum."

"She broke my heart!"

"Eight years ago," Barb said. "A person can change in eight years. I'm not the same person I was eight years ago and I'm sure the same is true for you. Maybe Anna has changed."

As she said that, my mind flew the woman who had walked away from at the airport. She was calm, cool, and collected; she'd stayed that way through everything that happened that day. And she was beautiful. Her dark brown hair, which was shorter than I liked it, was held back from her face with a simple black headband. Anna had always dressed simply and she had been wearing a pair of blue jeans and dark purple t-shirt. It was so Anna; she wasn't letting anything stress her out but just remaining calm about life. Looking back on it later when I was calmer, I would realize that Anna's willing acceptance of events that were shocking or startling to me was probably a result of her mother's death when she was only twelve. Someone had told me once that Anna hadn't cried when her mother died because she'd been too busy taking care of Maya. I hadn't made much of that at the time but now bits of information were starting to line up in my mind. Even when her life was falling apart, Anna still put other people, especially her family, above everything else, even herself. It might not have been right but it was the way she'd been raised. Her mom died when she was twelve and her father wasn't very interested in her. And with those facts in mine, her actions started to make a lot more sense.

* * *

The next evening, after I returned from spending the day at the hospital with Gretchen's family, Matt advised me to head myself out of town. "You're still acting like you're her boyfriend," he told me as we talked in the kitchen after dinner. "If you want people to stop treating you like her boyfriend or future husband, you're going to have to cut your losses and go away. You need to find a way to get away from Gretchen and her family for a while."

"But I have to get back to work. And I live and work in the same city as her family. The Musgroves are Harry and Sophia's neighbors."

"So find your own apartment."

"But I'd have to do that really fast," I said. "Otherwise, I'd be living next-door to her family for several weeks while I hunt for apartments."

* * *

And that is how I ended up subleasing Anna Eliot's apartment in downtown Los Angeles. I called my sister about my predicament and Matt's suggestion that I find somewhere else to live until the whole fiasco between Gretchen and I died. Sophia happened to have just gotten a call from Anna telling her that she'd gotten the job in New York. So my sister made arrangements for me to move into Anna's apartment for the duration of her lease. I had to help Sophia pack up all of Anna's things and ship them to New York but Anna was willing to let me buy her furniture from her. I guess she could probably use the money towards decorating her new place in New York. I didn't think that trying to furnish an apartment in New York City could be cheap. Or maybe she would just put the money in her bank account; maybe she was living with her father and her sister. I didn't want her to do that but who knew what she would do. Anna kept her thoughts to herself; she wasn't like Maya or Gretchen or most other women I knew. Her heart wasn't readily on her sleeve. Anna's emotions were usually hidden under efforts to help other people or to do something useful. I'm not quite sure where she got the idea that she had to be useful all the time but that part of her personality drives me nuts. Okay, I actually know exactly where she got that idea from. I heard her dad tell her that once. I had been at the Eliot house for dinner one night shortly before I asked Anna to marry me.

"_Anna," Wally said when dinner was over. "Would you mind doing the dishes? Liz just had her nails done this morning and I don't want her to mess them up."_

"_Yeah, of course," Anna replied, starting to collect the plates from the table. I quickly stood to help her. _

_On her second trip from the dining room into the kitchen, she stopped and pulled her long dark brown hair up into a ponytail. Her father shook his head. "Oh, Anna, don't be silly. You don't need to worry about your hair. No one ever notices your hair."_

_I ran my fingers through her dark brown hair as her father watched, making sure that he noticed me, as I was noticing and appreciating her beautiful hair. But her father never noticed me. He wanted me to be a phase his daughter was going through. And I wanted to be his daughter's husband. I didn't care what Wally Eliot thought about me but I knew that to him, I was just some dumb poor kid from Seattle who had fallen in love with his daughter. _

_Later that evening, we were sitting in the living room. I was talking to Anna while her father and older sister ignored us in favor of each other's company. We'd been quietly talking about classes and our plans for our relationship after she transferred in the fall. Suddenly, her father's voice broke through our conversation. "Anna, you and that boy have just been sitting there for the past hour. Get off your ass and do something useful. If you're not pretty enough to please me, at least find a way to make yourself worth that money I'm throwing away to educate you." _

_She sighed and stood up. "We'll be in the kitchen," she told her father, taking my hand and leading me out of the room. _

I remember demanding to know why she let Wally treat her like that. She had brushed my comment aside and started organizing the napkins and placemats in the breakfast nook. "It's complicated," she'd said. I guess when it's your dad it is different; it is complicated. But when I was nineteen or twenty, I didn't realize that. I was too self-centered. And now, I had to live with that. I had loved a woman and pushed her away because I didn't understand the situation. And now, I still didn't get it all. But I needed to stop being such a judgmental arrogant asshole.

* * *

I first moved into Harry and Sophia's house, I found myself in Anna's old bedroom. And while there, I found a copy of a manuscript entitled _A Strange and Bitter Romance_ that I had assumed was about our relationship. I'd barely read it but because it seemed to be about star-crossed lovers, I figured it had to be about us. It was about a couple named Meghan Walsh and Gregory Fenton. Politics and money complicated things and their families and their lives came between them. And then, while at Harry and Sophia's for dinner, my sister gave me a more recent copy of the manuscript to read. "Anna's struggling with the ending and I was wondering if you could give her some advice," she explained.

So the next night, after a long day in pediatric neurology, I settled down on the couch with _A Strange and Bitter Romance_. I didn't think I'd like it that much; I'm not much for "chick lit" or any of that garbage. And I kind of assumed that was what Anna would write. And then I started reading.

_To have met Gregory Fenton was an honor and a shock. Most Americans are familiar with Gregory's weekly column, _Vox Populi_. It was published every Tuesday on his website, __ and in various conservative newspapers. All I knew about Gregory was that my dad, like most Democrats, abhorred him. And his picture next to the column was of a young, good-looking man. He had bright blue yes and wavy brown hair. His face may have been too angular, as my young sister Rebecca, the future CNN political analyst of the family liked to comment. Rebecca knew plenty about men and politics. Daddy never knew about the relationships she carried on with other senators' aides behind his back. But that's not my point. We can talk about Becca later. Right now we're here to talk about Gregory J. Fenton. He was an angular, tall, skinny man. But there was something appealing about his eyes, and his smile. But when your father has been a Senator for 27 years, men from the other side of the aisle are off-limits. _

I was tall and angular when we met during college. But I've never had blue eyes. And Anna's dad is a reasonably well-known actor, not a famous politician. But the story had its parallels to ours. It was about a young couple who were separated because of complicated situations. But I've never had blue eyes. If she wanted it to be about me, wouldn't she have given this Gregory Fenton character some gorgeous dark brown eyes? I know that my eyes were one of her favorite things about me. So why wouldn't she have given this guy my amazing eyes? But then I started reading about the development of this relationship and started to doubt my original assumptions that it was about Anna and me.

_I'd been secretly reading Gregory's column during my second year of college. It was the spring before the famous Bush-Gore election of 2000. I was moved by what his young lawyer from Connecticut was saying and while I might not agree with everything he said, he definitely had an impact on my political beliefs. And so in November of my junior year at Notre Dame, I filled in the box for Ross Perot. My father was Senator James Jefferson Walsh, Democrat from Illinois, and I could never vote for a Republican. But Gregory Fenton had convinced me that I could never vote for Al Gore. And I did something rebellious, for the first time in my life. So I kept reading _Vox Populi_._

_Four years later, the fall of the Bush-Kerry election, I was standing in front of my first grade classroom greeting my new students. And there he was; Gregory Fenton was walking towards me holding the hand of a little girl wearing a bright red dress. And then he spoke to me. "This is Audrey Murphy."_

_I bent down to her level. "Hi, Audrey," I said, reaching my hand out to shake her small one. "My name is Miss Walsh and I'm going to be your teacher this year."_

"_Do you have chocolate milk?" Audrey asked as she shook my hand. _

"_Audrey!" Gregory Fenton exclaimed to his maybe daughter. _

Yeah, I definitely don't have any kids and Anna and I are the same age. This Gregory Fenton guy has to be at least five or six years older than Meghan Walsh. But back to the story; it does have some parallels to my life.

"_Sorry, Uncle Greg," she whispered. Then, louder, she said to me, "I really like chocolate milk, I can read __Curious George__, and I know how to count to 100."_

"_Audrey really likes to talk, Miss Walsh," the uncle said. Then he extended his hand to me. "I'm Gregory Fenton, Audrey's uncle. I'm helping watch Audrey for a couple of days."_

"_My mommy just had a baby!" the niece pronounced. "She's a girl and her name is Katharine Elizabeth. I also have a brother named James. He's three and he's having breakfast with Nana Fenton while Uncle Greg takes me to school."_

"_That's exciting, I replied as Gregory grimaced. "Don't worry, Mr. Fenton. Most girls this age talk my wear off the first day of school."_

"_See, Uncle Greg? I'm normal!" Audrey exclaimed as her uncle smiled the same amazing smile that sat next to his column every Tuesday. _

"_I think you'll find Audrey will talk your ear off every day of the year," he told me. _

_She pulled on his arm. "Uncle Greg, can you leave now? I want to play with the other girls."_

_He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you after school, okay?"_

_Audrey nodded and hugged him. "Good-bye, Uncle Greg. Have a good day."_

"_You too, bella," he said. "I love you."_

_She ran into the classroom and he smiled. "She's growing up too fast."_

_I laughed. "It happens to all of us. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Fenton."_

"_Please, call me Greg," he replied. "And it was nice meeting you too, Miss Walsh."_

"_It's Meghan," I said with a smile. "And I suppose I'll see you at three o'clock."_

"_I'll see you then," he said with the same amazing smile before walking away._

I have two nieces but they were born after Anna and I went our separate ways. She's met my brother Nicholas and his wife but that was before Iris and Elena were born. There might have been some connection between our story and this story she was telling but she wasn't writing about us. But I was intrigued by this story. I wanted to know what Anna thought about life. And the fact that she was writing about things in the political realm showed that she had changed since we'd been together. Back then, politics didn't mean a thing to her. And now she was writing a novel that was set in the political world.

But I also wanted to add something to this story. She told it from both Meghan's perspective and Gregory's. But I wanted to leave my mark on this. I don't know why but I think it was because I wanted some connection to this part of her life I'd never really known anything about. And as I read on, I thought of edits I would make if she would let me. But I also knew that Anna would probably kill me if I changed her book.

_Meeting Meghan Walsh was a shock. I was fairly familiar with Senator James Walsh of Illinois. He had been a Democratic senator from Illinois for 27 years. While claming to be devoutly Roman Catholic, Walsh was so liberal that his conservative rating with three percent. Walsh has four children and two stepchildren. His first wife, Maureen Conley, had died of breast cancer shortly before their fifteenth wedding anniversary. He had remarried about six years later, to British writing Ellen Parker-Daniels, who was divorced from her first husband with whom she had two children. I also knew that Walsh's biological children were Connor, Meghan, Rebecca, and Benjamin. Ellen's children were Jillian and Natasha. You saw pictures of the gorgeous, smiling family every time Walsh won an election or was making a public appearance where it would be good to have his photogenic family behind him. I knew that Meghan was a teacher while most of her siblings were involved in politics in some way, shape, or form; I'd heard far too many speeches in the past year or two that involved the line "My daughter, Meghan, is a teacher in Chicago and she says…" I also knew that Meghan was always towards the back of the photos of the smiling Walsh family. _

_And then one day I had to drop my niece, Audrey, off for her first day of school. My older sister, Michelle, had just given birth to a baby and so needed some help with her children. When I dropped Audrey off at the school, I learned that her (very pretty) teacher's name was Meghan Walsh. I wasn't sure if she was the senator's daughter but she was gorgeous. She had beautiful dark brown hair that hung down to her shoulders and bright green eyes_.

Anna has green eyes. They're beautiful and they were my favorite thing about her except for the gorgeous hair. Her smile was also amazing but her eyes were just perfectly beautiful. They were bright and expressive. I could always tell what she was thinking by looking into her green eyes. They were from her mother; Charlotte Eliot had been a beautiful woman who had given her middle daughter all of her best features. This story was becoming less and less vaguely reminiscent of our story. I think I had been hoping that this story would be like ours to prove to me that she had spent the past eight years as miserably as I had. But now, as I read her story, I began to wonder if she had been more miserable than I had. This story might not have been our story. But maybe she couldn't tell our story. And maybe telling a story of two people who were different from us but might follow a similar path helped her exorcise her past.

_When I picked Audrey up that first afternoon, I had to go back to the classroom again. Miss Walsh was waiting with numerous six-year-olds running around her. On her desk, there was a small glass vase filled with dandelions. The next thing I knew there was a red blur flying at my legs screaming, "Uncle Greg!"_

"_Hi, Audrey," I said, stroking my niece's head. "How was your first day of school?"_

"_I like Miss Walsh. She smells like sugar cookies and you should marry her."_

_I laughed as the supposedly sugar-cookie scented woman in question approached us. "Audrey was an angel today," she told me with a bright smile. And that lively smile was what inspired me to ask Miss Walsh for her phone number while my niece ran to get her _Little Mermaid_ backpack. I'm not sure what her inspiration was, but before I left that room I had a pink post-it note with "Meghan Walsh 708-555-3016; Call after 6pm" written on it._

_I waited a day before I called her. I'm not sure that was intentional but whatever. But she answered the phone and three days later we met for coffee. _

Meeting Anna was a bit less complicated for me. We were sitting next to each other in a lecture hall for a psychology class at UC-Berkley. And my pen exploded so I asked her if she had one I could borrow. She said yes. And at the end of class I gave it back to her and told her that my name was Alex Wentworth. She told me I could keep the pen in case I needed it; she had plenty. Oh, and by the way, her name was Anna Eliot. A week later, we went on our first date. And the rest, as they say, was history from there.

But now, I was living in her old apartment, sleeping in a bed she used to sleep in, and wondering where I'd gone wrong with my life. Maybe I was an arrogant asshole. At least I knew my career was going in the right direction. But the rest of my life wasn't doing so well. Maybe it was time for some reevaluation. And I think I need to read the rest of Anna's book.

* * *

A/N: Please review! It really does encourage me.


	11. You Just Have to Be Lucky

A/N: I don't own it; I love my reviewers.

**Chapter Seven: You Just Have to Be Lucky**

"_Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you."_

_-Audrey Hepburn_

* * *

I got the job in New York and moved in with Wally, Liz, and Penny while I looked for a place of my own. I had no intentions of staying with Wally and company any longer than necessary. There was something going on between Wally and Penny and I didn't like it. I didn't want to be around to watch my dad be an idiot or make a mess out of his life. I'd already done enough of that with my own life and with other people's lives. Now I wanted a calm, normal life. I just wanted to teach and write my book and start my life anew. I wanted to take risks and be the woman my mom would have wanted me to be. And after my fight with Alex on the way to the hospital, I was determined to restart my life and become a better person.

And Liam Walters had arrived in New York a few days before me. He had met up with my family and was sucking up to them in a big way. He was always coming over for dinner and telling my sister how beautiful she was. He would spend hours watching my dad's movies with him. He even watched some of Liz's movies with her. And Liz's movies are horrible. They're the kind of movies that are only aired at two or three in the morning. They have names like _The Attack of the Mutant Martians_. And they're horrible; I've watched all of them at least once to make my sister happy but it's not like I watch them all the time. Liz, on the other hand, loves to watch them as a reminder of her "promising acting career." I could see Liam playing my family but they refused to see it. They loved being adored and worshipped like that. My father had been something in Hollywood once. But while Harrison Ford had been able to keep his star-power, Wally Eliot's star had faded. He had fallen to the level of made-for-TV movies and appearing on Biography Channel specials to talk about his memories of his former friends like Harrison Ford and Warren Beatty. But while he never saw Harrison or Warren anymore, he still thought they were his friends. He sent them Christmas cards every year with long detailed updates about his life and Liz's life. But they never replied except with the standard impersonally autographed cards that all celebrities had their people sent to anyone who wrote them a letter. And Dad kept thinking that these people were his friends.

* * *

The second night I was at my dad's place, they had Liam over for dinner. They were calling him Eliot and Liz was flirting with him. From the minute he walked in the front door of their Manhattan brownstone, he had Liz's right hand in his hands and his lips pressed against it as he breathed, "Miss Eliot, it is a pleasure to see you."

Then he did the same thing to Penny. And then he saw me. "Why, who is this vision? Uncle Wally, you didn't tell me that you had another daughter who looked like a goddess."

I didn't think I looked like a goddess; I had pinned my hair up a bit with barrettes and I was wearing a simple gray skirt with a purple top that Liz had approved. I might have looked passable but I wasn't a goddess. "I'm just Anna," I said softly, hoping to take that angry look off my older sister's face as Liam/Eliot stared at me.

"You aren't just anything," he replied. "I've known that since I met you in Chicago. And how did your visit to Chicago end? I heard from your dad that one of the girls you were with was injured. How is she doing?"

"Let's go in for dinner," my older sister said stiffly. "It's all ready for us and I don't want it to get cold."

But when we sat down around the dining room table, Eliot managed to maneuver his way in between my dad and me. And then he sat there and talked to me throughout the whole meal. He ignored my sister and Penny despite their constant interruptions and attempts to keep his attention focused on them. "You have two little girls, and I have two little boys," Penny announced at one point. "We should have them play together sometime. I bet they would love each other."

"How old are your boys?" he asked.

"Nicolas is three and Eli is five," she replied. "They're with their father and his new girlfriend for a few weeks."

"Interesting, Maddie is four and Alexis is three," Eliot replied. "They're currently at my apartment with their nanny."

"We should have them play together some time."

Eliot nodded before turning back to me. "So how is that girl who was injured during your trip to Chicago? I heard from a friend that it was pretty serious."

I nodded. "She's still in the hospital. The doctors said it was a closed head injury. Her parents and her older brother and sister are with her, taking care of her."

* * *

Charles and Alicia had flown to Chicago as soon as they heard about their daughter's accident. And Alex had flown back to Los Angeles and was subletting my old apartment. I sold him my furniture because I didn't want to pay to drag it across the country; it would be cheaper to replace it when I moved into a new apartment. I didn't mind helping Alex; he wanted to move to get away from the Musgroves, especially Gretchen. And that was something that I supported. Also, his sister was reading my manuscript over for me to help me figure out a good ending to the story. Sophia had mentioned to me that she might ask Alex to look over the story for some male input. It was an interesting idea to have Alex read the story that was a thinly veiled story of our romance. And I think he might see through the things I changed. Gregory had blue eyes instead of Alex's amazing brown eyes. I couldn't have written about those eyes. I spent too much time loving them. It hurt too much to write Gregory as a guy with brown eyes.

So I gave Gregory blue eyes. It wasn't anything major but I didn't want Meghan and Gregory to have the same color eyes. Giving Meghan my green eyes, that really wasn't a huge deal for me. But it was harder for me to give Gregory Alex's eyes. I loved Alex and while writing that story did help me exorcise some demons from my past, I wasn't quite ready to pour my broken heart out to the whole world. There were some things I just didn't want the whole world knowing about myself. Most people who read the book would probably never know that it was autobiographical. But I would know. And there had always been a chance that one day Alex would see it while browsing through a bookstore and pick it up because it had my name on the cover. If he read it, he would probably see the connections and correlations between our relationship and the relationship in the book. And now he was reading it over. He was helping his sister decide which ending would be better for the book. And I was very curious to see how he would react to the book. I had filled it with snippets of famous poems, partially to annoy him. I love poetry and Alex made fun of me for that relentlessly when we were together. For example, I love Tennyson but Alex always made fun of me for it. He told me that if I didn't watch out I was going to end up like Emily Dickinson. Maybe someone should have told him that threat isn't funny. I don't sit in my attic all day wearing white dresses and writing poetry. My bedroom in Wally's brownstone is in the attic, which is not cool, but hopefully, I'll be able to find a new place soon. I'm teaching at a small private school in Manhattan, which should be quite a change after teaching in a public school in the intercity of Los Angeles for the past several years.

But it will be a good teaching experience for me and the money is good. With my signing bonus and the money I'm getting from Alex for my furniture, I'm planning to find myself a small studio apartment near the school. That way, I won't need to buy a new car or anything. And what am I doing with my old car? I'm selling it to Ben Musgrove. He needs a car and I don't need a car anymore. Moving to New York really is what I told Alex it would be. It's a new start for me. I'm being forced to purge my life and start over in a new place. It's good for me. Alex might not like where I went for this new start, but it was going to be good for me.

* * *

I'd been in New York City for about two weeks when I got a phone call from Natalie Palmer. She was back in Los Angeles after her sister's wedding. "The wedding was great," she said. "Melissa was gorgeous and you could tell she and Greg are in love. Oh, and Greg's brother told me that you met him in Chicago."

"Oh, yeah," I replied.

"Don't get me wrong; Ben's a great guy, Anna. But don't go down that road. He's been through a lot and he's…"

"Kind of morbid?" I suggested.

"Exactly," Natalie's cheerful voice said. "And anyway, I'm not sure he's your type; you need someone who is more cheerful and energetic."

"Do you have any suggestions?" I asked.

I heard a sigh that I knew meant something was coming. "You know that Andrew is still single."

Andrew was Natalie's older brother; he was two years older than us and I'd met him a few years earlier. He was extremely good-looking and a sweetheart. But Andrew was too good for me. After turning down Alex Wentworth, I didn't deserve a guy as amazing as Andrew Baker. Andrew is also devoutly Catholic, much like Natalie and Mike, and I'm not. My mom was Catholic but once she died, that part of our lives kind of died. If I'd married Alex, I probably would have become Greek Orthodox because he was. For Alex, being Greek Orthodox is an intricate part of his personality. He goes to church every Sunday because he wants to. Whoever he marries will have to become Greek Orthodox and that's one reason I'm not sure he could ever really make things work with Gretchen. But I haven't darkened the door of a church since we broke up, except for a few family weddings and funerals. Andrew, on the other hand, darkens the door of a church at least once a week, usually more than that. And I'm just not sure that I could spend the rest of my life with someone like that. It's good for him, but I'm not sure that it would be good for me.

"Natalie, we've been through this before. I'm just not sure that Andrew is my type."

"You two have more chemistry than a high school chemistry lab," she replied. "And unless you are going back to that guy you dated in college, there's no one I know of who would be better for you."

"Here's the thing," I told her. "Do you remember hearing about my second cousin, Liam?"

"Yes," she said slowly.

"Well, he asked me out like two days after I got here and we've gone a couple of dates since then."

"That's gross," Natalie replied. "He's your cousin."

"Second-cousin, once removed," I corrected.

"What would you tell me if I started dating my second cousin, once removed?"

"Natalie Rose, you're a married woman!"

"Forget about that. Let's just pretend that we were both single and my second-cousin, once removed asked me out. What would you say to me?"

"I'd probably be pretty grossed out; I was grossed out when Liz was dating Liam a while back."

She sighed. "So why exactly are you dating this guy?"

"I like him!" I protested. "And his daughters are adorable."

"He has kids? How old is he?"

"A couple years older than I am," I told her. "His daughters are three and four."

"Got it," she replied. "Well, Andrew is two years older than you and has no baggage. He also has a PhD in English and a professorship at Ohio State. He could definitely afford a wife and family."

Andrew Baker is once again proving himself to be perfect. I got my master's degree in English, from the Ohio State University. And while I might deny it to Alex, I do have friends there and the Baker family is like a second family to me. Living near them again would be wonderful. But I'm not good enough for Andrew. And he's very Catholic, which I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with. I think he'd end up making me feel like a horrible person or something. And that's not really a feeling I want to live with for the rest of my life.

* * *

About a week later, I found a small apartment I liked near the school where I was working. I asked Natalie to go over to my old apartment and ship the boxes of my clothes, dishes, and other personal effects to me in my new place. When I talked to her, she was less then three weeks away from her due date and told me that I'd either have to wait a while or I could talk to Alex myself. I reluctantly picked up my phone and called Alex Wentworth. Mercifully, I got his voicemail and just left him a short message explaining my situation and promising to pay him back for postage.

I didn't hear from him for at least a week afterwards; I also didn't receive any packages. So I started to worry that either his cell phone was dead or he was being the ultimate jackass and just refusing to do me a simple common courtesy that had been part of our agreement when he started subleasing my apartment. But then, I got a phone call from Mike Palmer saying that the baby had been born. They'd had a baby boy and named him Stephen Michael Palmer, after his maternal grandfather and his father. He promised to email me pictures of the little darling as soon as possible. But his main purpose in calling was this: Natalie wanted me to be little Stephen's godmother but in the Catholic Church, the godparents are supposed to be members of a Catholic parish and they are supposed to have received the sacrament of Confirmation. Natalie wasn't sure if this was true for me or if I was willing to be the little guy's godmother at all; but they figured it was worth asking.

This was a hard choice for me. I had been confirmed at age twelve, shortly before my mother's death. It was a decision made to appease my mom and my grandmother. But I wasn't sure I was the best person to be someone's godmother especially when Natalie had six younger sisters, all of whom were better Catholics than I was. So I refused although I was glad that they asked. It let me know that I mattered to Natalie and Mike.

* * *

Three days after Stephen Michael Palmer was born, Alex finally called me back one day while I was at work; but he did leave me a message on my voicemail. "Hey, Anna, it's me, Alex. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you but I've been really busy at the hospital. I guess that's what happens when you stop messing around with girls and start actually focusing on your life as a pediatric neurologist. Anyway, I'm going to ship all your stuff to you as soon as possible. I just need your address in New York, so call me back or email it to me when you get a chance and I'll get your stuff to you."

So I called him back and left him a voicemail with my address. It seemed like we were keeping completely opposite hours. And that was okay with me. I didn't care what he was up to; I just wanted my stuff back. A week and a half later, ten packages arrived on my welcome mat addressed in Sophia's neat, precise handwriting. Inside one of the boxes was a note written in Alex's horrible scrawl. Even after eight years, I could still make it all out. Sophia had once told me that after being his sister for twenty-eight years, she couldn't read his handwriting. I dated the guy for two years and I could still decipher his handwriting eight years later. I was officially pathetic.

The note was just a simple note saying this was everything that he had found in my apartment. If he found anything else, he'd either send it to me or have Sophia bring it to me in person. Apparently his sister was coming to New York to meet with her editor at some point towards the end of November or the beginning of December. She was actually in New York around the time I got the packages. She gave me a call and we met up for coffee. Unfortunately, we didn't have much time to talk because we met up on a Friday afternoon. I'd worked until four that afternoon and I had a date with Liam that night at six. We were taking Alexis and Maddie out for dinner and then going to watch a movie with them. Liam let me call him that but he insisted on being Eliot everywhere else. Liz was pissed off as all hell at me for "stealing her man" despite the fact that whenever Alexis and Maddie were nearby she was whining and moaning about those "stinky, obnoxious little brats." But she wanted to marry Liam/Eliot because he had money, he was attractive, and he was set to inherit Kellynch when my dad died. He also owned houses in places like Paris and that was irresistible to her.

Sophia didn't say much about life back in Los Angeles although she did mention that she wasn't quite sure what was going on her brother's love life. But it looked like Gretchen Musgrove was getting really serious…about someone; she wasn't exactly sure who the "lucky man" was. I didn't think that Alex and Gretchen were still together but maybe they were. Or maybe she was with someone else. I had no clue; all I knew was that she was definitely one of those girls who always had to have a boyfriend. Sophia was very interested to hear about things with Liam and she was far less critical of the fact that he was my second cousin, once removed than Natalie. "Well, it's not the most frequently seen thing in the world," she said. "But it is cute. And I bet you two make a great couple."

I smiled. "I love his little girls; they're such sweethearts. And they're so spoiled; they just need someone who loves them in their lives. They really are the stereotypical poor, little rich girls."

"I bet you can relate to them really well," she said. "After all, you lost your mother when you were young and they lost their mother."

"Well, I was about ten years older than they were when Rebecca died."

"But you can relate," Sophia said. "After all, you've written books for children who've lost their parents."

"Sophia, I'm dating their father; I'm not trying to rehabilitate the kids."

"Anna, think logically. If you marry this guy, you're going to have to deal with this for the rest of your life. Those kids are going to need a mother figure in their lives and if you marry their dad, that's going to be your job."

"I know that," I told her. "I'm willing to be their mother but I'm not quite sure that Liam is really looking for a wife or a new mother for his kids. Rebecca died about a year ago; I'm not sure he's ready to settle down just yet."

"Then what is he looking for? Is he just using you for fun?"

"He's not using me!" I protested.

"Are you sure? This really sounds like you're the rebound girl in this situation."

All through that evening, all I could think about was Sophia's suggestion that I was the rebound girl. I had a great time with the girls but every time Liam touched me or looked at me, the words "rebound girl" ran through my mind. But then I remember that Liam had married Rebecca for her money. And eight years earlier, he'd dated my sister trying to get access to my dad's wallet. What did he want from me? Was it just to ensure his claim to Kellynch and my dad's other properties? Or did he think that because I was a writer I might have some money? I didn't have anything he could want. What did he want from me? Sarah Russell had once told me that she was convinced that Alex was only dating me for my family's money. But that couldn't have been true. Alex was better than that. Unfortunately, I was related to some self-centered rich people who thought that everyone wanted to be them or steal their lives.

* * *

Sarah arrived in New York at the beginning of September. She was appearing in a revival of _You Can't Take it With You_ that was opening towards the end of October. She took up residence in a brownstone near Wally and Liz's place. Her purpose, supposedly, was to keep an eye on Liz although from what she told me, it sounded more like she was supervising Wally and Penny than Liz. Penny was, apparently, very interested in trying to seduce my father. She was always doing things for him and talking to him and touching him. "And she wears such whorish clothes," Sarah ranted as we talked on the phone one Saturday in mid-October. "Anna, I'm not sure she was wearing a bra when I had them over for dinner last night. She was wearing this really low-cut top and then the back was low too. I'm not sure how she could have gotten a bra under that thing."

"Don't worry about it, Sarah," I told her.

She sighed. "But what about Eli and Nicolas? She's a mother; she should be responsible. What are people at their school going to think if she shows up looking like a hooker? And she's throwing herself at your father. Doesn't she know that it makes her look like a whorish gold-digger?"

"Why do you keep using the word 'whorish' to describe her?" I asked. I was sitting on my bed with my cat and wearing my pajamas; it was a little after noon. Liam was picking me up in less than two hours to go to Central Park with him and his little girls. And I still needed to shower and get dressed. But Sarah wanted to talk and I was having a hard time getting her to understand that I had other things to do beside listen to her rant about her awful dinner with my family the night before. And by the way, she hadn't even invited me to that dinner.

"She's a tramp, Anna! She was stroking your father's leg last night, during dessert! She's thirty and he's sixty; he's old enough to be her father. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Wally is an adult," I told her firmly. "He can make his own decisions. He picked out his own wife the first time around. Can't you trust him do make a good decision now?"

"He drove himself into bankruptcy and had to rent that gorgeous house that he and your mother built together to those Crofts. She's a writer and he was in the Navy. And he's got to be thirty years older than her; that's such a huge age gap. But your father doesn't know how to make decisions. He married your mother because she was pretty. He didn't know what he had in front of him. He never does. Look at the way he treats you. He ignores you and neglects you. He should try to treat you the way I do."

"And what do you do?" I barked, interrupting her for the first time in my life. "You forced me to break up with the only man I've ever loved."

"What about Eliot Walters?" she asked. "You two seem to have something great going on."

"But I don't love him," I replied. "I might have feelings for him; I enjoy spending time with him. But I don't know that I love him."

"But if you gave him time, you could fall in love with him and marry him. It would be great. Those poor little girls would finally have a mother. And you'd be a much mother to them than his first wife was."

"Sarah, I loved Alex Wentworth!" I yelled. "I wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry me."

"You were too young to know what love is."

"How the hell do you know that? I was almost twenty years old. We had been together since the beginning of our freshman year of college. And we were planning on getting married until we graduated from college. I was going to Northridge and he was going to stay at Berkley. We would finish our degrees, get married, and have a great life together. And then you and Wally convinced me to end our relationship because he wasn't good enough for me. Well, I've got news for you. Alex was good enough for me. He did love me; he wasn't just trying to get our family money. He wanted me for who I was. He loved me and he wanted to marry me. And you ended that."

"But you were young and he was poor," she protested.

"And he loved me. Sometimes, you have to realize that love is more important than money. I know that; I learned that. When will you learn that?"

"You can have love and money! Give Eliot a chance and you'll see that."

"His name is Liam!" I yelled back. "He just goes by Eliot to remind Wally that they're related."

* * *

I finally got rid of Sarah and took a shower. Liam picked me up at two and he had his little girls with him. After he kissed me on the cheek, I kissed Maddie and Lexi each on the cheek. "Are we ready to go to the park?" I asked them, picking Lexi up and settling her on my hip.

"We're not going to the park," Maddie said sadly. "Daddy says that Lexi and I are going to play with his friend's children while you go do dolt things."

"Like what?" I asked Liam.

He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "You'll just have to wait and see. It's a surprise."

"Where are the girls going?"

"To play with Penny Clay's boys," he replied. "I was talking to Penny the other day and she mentioned that her boys were home now. And I thought it would be great for all the kids. If I marry you and she marries your dad, it will be great for the kids to get to know each other now."

"Oh, okay," I said. I wasn't sure I wanted to marry Liam and I knew I didn't want my father to marry Penny. If I was honest with myself, I wanted to marry Alex.

But back in reality, I had a book to finish. Before I could finish it, I needed to know how it would end. And I wasn't sure how things were supposed to end for Meghan and Gregory. I could give them a happy ending together or I could give them the same ending that Alex and I had.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I will keep putting excerpts from the story about Meghan and Gregory in the story; it will become clear who they are as their story goes. And I might post it as its own story; I'm not sure.


	12. I Detest Bad Manners

A/N: I am not Jane Austen. I do not own _Persuasion_. I love my reviewers. I own a few rare characters like Natalie and Mike Palmer as well as the Walters and Clay kids.

**Chapter Eight: I Detest Bad Manners**

"_I detest bad manners. If people are polite, I am. They shouldn't try to get away with not being polite to me."_

_-Frank Sinatra_

* * *

Living alone has its ups and downs. It's great when you want some alone time. But when you want someone to talk to, talking to the walls is pretty pathetic. That is why women who live alone buy cats. Growing up, Wally never let us kids have pets; apparently they ruin the carpet. My apartment building in L.A. had a strict "no pets except fish" policy. So I had a lovely aquarium with five goldfish named Hugo, Hector, Horatio, Humphrey, and Henrietta. They were all now receiving TLC from Alex Wentworth, who upon meeting them declared them the perfect pets for a single doctor. But now that I was living in New York I needed to find a new pet. And my new apartment building happened to allow pets. Thus, Cooper the orange tabby cat entered my life. Cooper was an amazing cat; he was a kitten when I bought him, but training him to use his litter box and eat the food in the bowls that I set out for him in the kitchen went smoothly.

Natalie teased me relentlessly about buying a cat. "You're going to become a cat lady. I can just see it now; I'll come to visit you one summer and you'll have 25 cats and I won't be able to bring my kids into your apartment because all of them will be allergic to cats," she told me one night when we were talking on the phone.

"Or maybe I'll meet some guy some day and I'll get married," I replied.

"Andrew is still single," she reminded me.

I sighed. "All right, I'll make you a deal. If I'm still single at Thanksgiving next year, you can get your mom to invite me to the Baker family homestead for the holiday and you girls can all do what you've wanted to since I first set foot in your parents' house four years ago."

"Ah, the night that I brought you over for dinner and Cassie told you that you were pretty and you smelled like sugar cookies so you should marry Andrew."

I started laughing. "Well, if I still smell like sugar cookies and your little siblings still think I'm pretty next Thanksgiving, then I will on a date with Andrew."

I heard a jubilant squeal from the other end of the phone. "Mike, the Cat Lady says we can set her up with Andrew next year at Thanksgiving."

"Natalie, it's only if I'm single. I'm still seeing Liam."

She sighed. "Anna Clarissa, it's not going to last. I talk to you at least once a week and I read your emails. I know what's going on in your life and I'm not going to fall for your bullshit. You might believe it but I don't. Things between you and Liam are not going well. You like him but he's not the guy. He's using you and you know it. You want out but you're afraid of hurting his kids."

"And you need to stop knowing me so well," I said as I flopped back on my bed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Honey, I've known you for five years and I actually listen to what you say. Of course I know you well."

Natalie and I had met five years earlier on our first day teaching at the same public school in Los Angeles. She wasn't married then although both she and Mike had already moved to the West Coast. At the time, Mike was a computer programmer and they were engaged. Somehow, they convinced me to get my master's degree in English at the Ohio State University. I did a lot of coursework online and traveled to Columbus over school breaks to talk to professors. Then I spent the summer in Ohio and finished the whole deal off in one summer. And while I was gone, Maya stole Kevin from me. But when I got back, I grew even closer to Natalie and Mike. They got married the following Christmas. The following summer, Mike decided that computer programming wasn't for him and became a teacher.

And I lived near them, so I became closer and closer to them. I watched them struggle to have a baby. They'd been married for almost four years before they had little Stephen Michael. Few people knew how important that baby was to them. Few people could understand what that little guy meant to them. He was their world, the fulfillment of their dreams. And he was perfect. They emailed me pictures and videos of him and begged me to come visit them as soon as possible. They were spending Thanksgiving in Ohio with Mike's family. And Nat told me that if I really wanted, she knew that Mrs. Palmer would be more than willing to invite me to spend Thanksgiving weekend with their family. I told her I would come to California for Christmas and spend as much time as possible with him. I had two weeks off from work and I planned on spending as much of that time as possible with them. If I had to, I'd even spend time in Ohio if it meant finally getting to see Stephen. Of course, I'd probably also have to see Andrew. We could be friends but I knew that his sisters really wanted the two of us to end up together.

* * *

Liam and I were still together but I knew that it wasn't meant to be. It was comfortable and I loved Maddie and Lexi; they were amazing little girls, like really amazing little girls. I didn't want to abandon them and I knew they were really attached to me. I liked taking them out for quality time, just the three of us. Spending time with Liam was great. And he was a good kisser. But there was decidedly something missing. There had been a pop and a sparkle to things with Alex that just wasn't there with Liam/Eliot. The name thing really bugged me. And then there was the fact that I still couldn't figure out what he wanted from me. I could tell that he genuinely liked me but I also think he had ulterior motives. It made me uncomfortable and I was never quite sure what to do about him.

Sophia was coming to New York City to meet with her editor the week of Thanksgiving and staying for at least two weeks. Her mother was also going to be coming to town that week, so Harrison and Alex were joining her so they could have a bit of family time for the holiday. "Harry and I were thinking that we could all get together and have dinner together one night; it would be a great reunion, especially with your sister and her family as well as the Musgroves in town."

"The Musgroves are going to be in town?" I asked.

"Oh, of course," she replied. "Marietta just got engaged and she wants to do some serious shopping for her wedding. And then Gretchen got engaged too, but I don't know if she's coming to New York. I'm not even sure how many people know about her engagement."

"Gretchen is engaged?" I was completely stunned.

"Didn't anyone tell you? I know it's not supposed to be public knowledge yet but you're practically a part of their family. It was a whirlwind romance and we were all so surprised by it. Even Alex was shocked by it and I didn't think that it would surprise him at all."

I was confused by that statement but then Sophia was unexpectedly rushed off the phone by Harrison or something in their house. So Alex was getting married. My former fiancé was engaged again and to Gretchen Musgrove. But yet, something about that didn't seem right. Alex had told me in his voicemail a few weeks earlier that he was working at the hospital to make up for time he'd missed when he'd been "messing around with girls." At least to me, that sounded like he wasn't involved with Gretchen anymore. But who else would she get engaged to?

* * *

I didn't know what to do about Liam. I was attracted to him but something didn't feel right about the situation. He just didn't seem completely genuine when we were together. He seemed to know that I loved his little girls but sometimes he would send them away when he knew that I was more than willing to spend time with them. But at the same time, Natalie's doubts and Sophia's suspicions were getting to me. What if he wasn't everything he claimed he was? This was the guy that Alex and I had made fun of when we were younger. And now he was suggesting that while Penny and Wally seemed interested in each other, maybe we should find someone a bit older for Wally. "She's too young for him," he said one day. "He needs someone more mature, more on his level."

"Liam," I replied, taking his hand. "My father thinks that he is thirty, maybe forty years old. If you suggested that he date someone his age, he would tell you that he doesn't go in for older women."

"Well, maybe the right woman could induce him to realize his age. I want to marry a woman my own age that can provide a stabilizing influence in my daughters' lives. And she has to be a wonderful partner for me-beautiful, affectionate. She also has to have certain sensuality, perhaps even a sexuality, to her personality. I need a woman who can satisfy me at all levels."

I nodded as he told me this. We were in his apartment talking one night; his daughters were already in bed, their nanny having taken care of them before we returned from dinner. As we sat on the couch, his fingers began toying with the buttons of the sweater I was wearing over my dress. And it was then that I knew that I had to end our relationship but I didn't know how. Alex never would have done anything like this without asking. I was seriously considering calling Natalie and telling her to just set me up with her brother and we could call it a day. I wanted to be done with this mess with Liam. I liked him well enough but I didn't trust him and I couldn't be with a guy I didn't trust. I wanted to be with Alex but that wasn't an option anymore. He'd moved on and I needed to do the same. And I need to finish my book.

* * *

My father and Liz had decided to exile me while I was dating Liam. My boyfriend wasn't exiled but I was; go figure. But then they adored Liam and were probably trying to lure him over to their side. My dad was unofficially seeing Penny, which Liam did not like. He had decided not to allow his daughters near her sons anymore and informed me that, in his opinion, she was not up to our family standards. He said the only reason he was spending time around Wally and Liz was the simple fact that he wanted to find a way to break up Wally and Penny. I didn't support this. I didn't like Penny but I wanted my dad to be happy. And if I ever got married, I theoretically could escape the Eliot family chaos. But I wasn't married. And despite the fact that I was in a relationship, I still looked at myself as a single woman. I guess that shows how serious I was about Liam. And I think part of it had to do with the simple fact that part of my heart was Alex's. I knew that things between us were over and done with. But I still loved him. I was horribly, absolutely, and utterly pathetic.

* * *

The Musgroves arrived in New York the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This included Marietta and Jack, but not Gretchen and her fiancé, who turned out to be Ben Williamson of all people; they were in Los Angeles where she was working hard to finish up school and he was looking for a job. According to Maya, he was taking all the fun out of Gretchen. "She doesn't have time for the mall and she doesn't go clubbing anymore. I don't like clubbing myself but I loved hearing her stories. But all she wants to talk about is school and books and Ben. She's so boring for her."

Her husband sighed before cutting in. "Ben is making her a better person. I like her better as the person she is when she is with him."

My sister sniffed. "She's boring. It's so stupid."

I sighed. "How is she doing?"

"Aren't you listening?" Maya huffed. "Gosh, Anna, you're so stupid. Just listen to me. I said she was boring and stupid; aren't you listening to me?"

"She's doing great," Kevin inserted. "Ben is so good for her. She finally decided what she wants to do with her life. She's been an art history major for ages but now she knows that she wants to be a curator at a museum."

"And that's boring!"

I shook my head. "That's great. I bet she'd be great at that. She loves talking and she loves people."

"You should hear her talk about art," Kevin told me. "She loves it. She talks about Picasso and Renoir and people you've never heard of; it's amazing."

I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice his delight about the fact that his sister was finally developing beyond the socialite. It had to be Ben Williamson's influence. But Ben was a good guy, if he'd been very confused when I met him. At the time, he'd been struggling with grief for a woman who had died years earlier, but if Gretchen had been able to help him and he'd been able to help her, then it was a good thing. Also, if Alex trusted him, that meant something to me. Alex's opinion still meant something to me after all these years. I didn't really care what he thought of me but I did value his opinion of other people.

* * *

I wanted to marry Alex; there was no denying that. But I'd lost that chance, that hope over eight years earlier. He was still single; Gretchen was marrying someone else. But there was no hope that he could or would ever want to marry me. I'd given that all up for stupid, childish reasons. And now I was looking at a future without him. And I couldn't give that future to Meghan and Gregory. I wanted them to have some sort of hope or happiness in their future. As a writer, I couldn't be that cruel to subject them to the life I'd known. I knew there had to be a reason for Meghan and Gregory to make things work. But what was it? Was there some aspect of their personalities that made them more willing to fight for their relationship than Alex and I had been? If there was, what was it? Did they love each other more? Was one of them more stubborn and wiling to fight for the relationship than we'd been?

But they were based on Alex and me. Gregory and Alex even had the same middle name-James. In both cases, it was their father's name. And okay, Alex is half-Greek while Gregory is half-Italian. But both of them are tall, dark, and handsome. And while Gregory is a lawyer, Alex is a doctor. But they both love children. Both were intelligent and family-oriented. Alex was devoutly Greek-Orthodox; Gregory was very Roman Catholic. Politics were very important to Gregory and medicine was the same to Alex. And Meghan might as well have been me. Okay, I don't have any brothers and Meghan has two. And while Meghan has no older sisters, I have one. But we do both have one (slightly trampy) younger sister. And we both have ridiculous fathers who try to push things on their children against the children's wishes. My father was one of my primary inspirations for Meghan's father. He was showy, clueless when it came to other people's emotions, and determined to control every aspect of other people's lives. Both men refused to let their daughters marry good, honorable men because of their own selfishness. We were both first grade teachers albeit in different settings. And we both had brown hair and green eyes.

And I could keep outlining similarities but I won't. The point is this; A Strange and Bitter Romance is about my relationship with Alex. But I didn't want to give Meghan and Gregory the ending that Alex and I had. I wanted them to have something better. But at the same time, I wanted the story to be realistic. And I wanted to know what Alex had thought; Sophia told me that the three of us would discuss it in person when they got into town. That made me nervous because I'd never let Alex read anything I'd written before. Also, Sophia was a published author and that also made me a little on edge. I was wondering what she thought of my book.

* * *

I was almost done reading Flight of Dreams. It was an amazing book. I think a lot of people thought it was my mom's greatest book purely because it was her last book. But I genuinely loved it; it really was her best work. It was the story of a young woman named Clarissa Mendoza who had worked her way to the top of a corporation only to find out that to get the next promotion she would have to betray her best friend and her family. She would have to turn her back on everything she believed in to move up at work. But of course, it's her dream job and there's a guy involved. It's kind of a corny plot but I love it. It really connects me to my mom and what things were like for her in the last few months of her life. Clarissa's mom has ovarian cancer and she uses that character to share her own dying days with us. And that, I think, is the greatest thing about the book. Clarissa is struggling to live up to her ambitions and goals while struggling with the idea that her mother will die.

It's hard to read, especially when she talks about some of the more private and personal details of ovarian cancer. This is my mom talking about her personal experiences. But at the same time, it's good for me to know what my mom went through during her last months on earth. I knew that she was in pain and that things were hard for her. But I never knew how hard things had been. I'd read the book before yes, but I never really read what she was saying about herself. I never realized how little my dad supported her or helped her when she was dying. But she used the character of Rosalie to tell us how little help my dad was to her. Rosalie's husband, Tim, buried himself in work and ignored his wife's difficulties as best he could. And her daughters all struggled to handle their mother's disease in their own ways. Clarissa tried to throw herself into work and ignore things. Her older sister, Miranda, threw herself into a life of partying, and the younger sister, Adrianna, became consumed by worrying about her own health.

My mother had her daughters completely pegged. She basically predicted our personalities when we were children. But more than that, she had told the story of her own final weeks so vividly. Reading that book, I realized that my mother had suffered more than I could imagine in her final days. Liz had been off with her friends, having fun. Dad had been busy making _Love in December_. I had thrown myself into schoolwork and Maya had been busy doctoring her dolls and developing odd health complaints. We'd all been in the house when Mom died. But only Dad, Sarah, and I had been in her room with her when she left us. Liz had been getting ready for a party and had refused to come near Mom's room because it "smelled funny, like gross sick people. I don't want my friends to smell that stink on me." She hadn't gone to the party after all; instead she spent the night crying in her room. Maya had been playing innocently in her room because Sarah had sent her away saying that she was too young to watch her mother die. I'm not quite sure how she found out that Mom had died but I remember her screams filling the house that was silent as the grave.

My mom wasn't perfect. And survivors tend to look back on the dead with far more affection than they actually deserved. But Mom probably was the person who best understood me until I met Alex. And I think they would have really liked each other. I think they had a lot in common. I also think Sophia and my mom would have loved each other. They have similar personalities and I think they would have bonded over their shared loved of writing. I'm almost positive that my mom's chain-smoking habit would have driven Alex insane. He hates smoking, partially because it can cause lung cancer and partially because he can't stand the way cigarette smoke smells. The smell reminds me of my mom but not in a good way. When she was smoking, she was usually stuck on a plot and in a bad mood. We kids learned to stay away from her when she was like that. Well, Liz and I did; I'm not sure Maya ever quite got it. We heard Mom yell at her a lot when she was little. And the Mom got sick. Flight of Dreams was the only book she'd written without cigarettes. She still yelled at people; she just was that way. My mom was pretty private in general but when she was writing, her emotions were everywhere. If she felt something, you knew about it. As a kid, it was pretty scary at times, but you learned to live with it. She was a good mom.

* * *

On Sunday, my father's cousin, Senator Regina Dalrymple, arrived in New York City with her daughter, Vanessa. Regina and my father aren't close but he always makes a point of inviting her to family functions just to remind people that we are related to this powerful senator from Connecticut. And she puts up with him for some reason that I've never figured out. Maybe it's some sort of familial obligation. Maybe it's out of love. They did grow up together, so maybe there's some childhood bond that I just don't understand going on there. I just knew that in my mind Regina and Vanessa were elitists and tended to look down on me for my teaching career. They tended to make me feel like I needed to apologize for what I did. I couldn't understand people like that. I'd lived in their world for ages and I was used to the social elitism; but that didn't mean I liked it or had grown accustomed to it.

My father expected me to join him, Penny, Liz, Liam, and Penny's children at some fancy restaurant for dinner with Regina and Vanessa the night they arrived. But I had made plans with a friend of mine from college, Joanna Smith. We'd gone to high school together and then later run into each other a fair bit when I transferred to Northridge. After college, she'd married a lawyer and moved to New York City. We'd kept in touch via phone and email over the past several years but actual visits had been few and far between. Then her husband had died a few years ago. And around that time Joanna's health began worsening. She had been in a car accident in her early twenties, and it had some severe negative effects on her health. She was currently wheelchair bound and dependent upon the care of a nurse named Nancy Rook.

I'd promised Joanna that I'd come visit her as soon as possible and that Sunday was the first time I'd been able to make the trip out to her house in Brooklyn. My dad completely disapproved of this idea saying that I could see this "Smith person" any old time. I persisted and managed to win out. I told him that I'd see Regina and Vanessa all weekend and this was just one afternoon, just one dinner. The last thing that Wally said before hanging up on me was "I always knew you were dumb like your mother, Anna. I just never realized how dumb you were." I took that as a compliment. I'd rather be "dumb" like my mother than "smart" like my father.

* * *

It was wonderful spending the day with Joanna and her nurse. Nancy was full of information and Joanna was always interested in hearing about the lives of people who were more mobile than herself. I told her stories about my time with the Musgroves, my visit to Chicago, and my job as a first-grade teacher. I told her about the book, which had returned to the title A Bittersweet Romance on Sophia's advice. I'd briefly danced with the idea of calling it Bitter Passions but Sophia and my editor, Estella, liked my original title better. "The story, dah-ling," Estella had told me over the phone. "It's a love story. It's about romance more than passion. Call things like they are."

Sophia loved the story but she and Alex both wanted to talk to me about it in person. "My brother was fascinated by the story," she told me as we'd talked on the phone the night before. "He told me that he knew exactly how the story should end but he wanted to talk to you about it."

As I told Joanna this, she smiled. "I remember when you first came to Northridge. You were so broken up about ending things with this Alex Wentworth. And now his sister is renting your father's house while she is giving you advice on your book."

"It's nothing," I replied hurriedly. "Sophia is just being nice."

"Anna, open your eyes. She let her brother read your book. She asked him to give you advice about it. She's trying to set you two up. She wants the two of you together and she's going to try to force it if she has to."

I sighed. "I'm with Liam!"

"Liam is rich and boring," she replied. "He's just another elitist from your father's circle. Alex is young, gorgeous, and exciting. And he's half-Greek; that makes him exotic."

This time I laughed at her. "Joanna, you've been depending on Nancy for your gossip and entertainment for too long. In the real world, my world, things like that don't happen. I continue on in my merry little pathetic existence without a hope of romance."

"What about your relationship with Liam?" Nancy asked. "I hear that he's very interested in you and his children adore you."

I shrugged. "Something about it just doesn't feel right," I replied. "He's a good guy but he confuses me. I think he has ulterior motives or something. I just don't trust him. He was playing with my sister when we were younger and then he ran off and married Rebecca. Then she died. And then he came back and toyed with Liz for a while before moving on to me. Doesn't something seem funny about that? I smell fish; do you?"

Nancy shrugged and Joanna patted my hand. "Trust your gut," she said. "What does your heart tell you?"

How the heck was I supposed to know that? I was confused; I wanted someone else to tell me what to do.

* * *

A/N: Please review! Reviews really encourage me to keep going.


	13. Alex Explains It All

A/N: I don't own anything except a few original characters. I love my reviewers!

**Alex Explains It All**

"_Failure has a thousand explanations. Success doesn't need one."_

_-Sir Alec Guinness_

* * *

I wanted to marry Anna Clarissa Eliot. There was no way around that. So, when I found out that Ben Williamson had asked Gretchen to marry him, I knew that I was in the free and clear. And the more I read of Anna's book, the more healing I found in that story. For me, the book was a love letter from her to me. She might not have seen it or written it that way but that was what I found in it. As she told Meghan and Gregory's story, I found her perception of our relationship. And as I read it, I made a decision; I was going to fight for her. I was going to New York City with my sister for Thanksgiving and I was going to win back her heart. I had done some horrible things to her and I didn't deserve her. She might have been the one to end our engagement but that didn't give me license to treat her like shit.

The night before I left for New York City I took a box out of my closet. I hadn't opened the box in over eight years but I knew exactly what was in it. It was labeled "ACE," which stood for "Anna Clarissa Eliot." In it was everything I had from my relationship with Anna. There were pictures and letters and little mementos of our time together. I found myself laughing at pictures of her being silly and smiling fondly at pictures of us together. She was always making faces at people whenever anyone tried to take her picture. One picture that especially caught my eye was a picture of her curled up on her couch one night; she was either sewing or crocheting, with a peaceful smile. Her bright green eyes were happy. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail; it had been so long back then. I loved her hair; it was thick and curly and I loved playing with it. But she'd cut it. Who knew how long it had been since she cut it? Maybe it'd been just a few months before I met her or maybe she'd cut it right after the night she gave the ring back to me. Maybe she'd done it to forget me or maybe it'd simply been for comfort's sake. I knew that sometimes that beautiful hair gave her migraines. But I hadn't wanted her to cut it; it was too beautiful. It reminded me of silk.

After looking at photographs and hair ribbons I'd stolen when she wasn't looking and other memories like movie tickets and a few dried flowers, I found the most important (and expensive) in the box. It was a small black velvet box. Inside was a beautifully simple gold band with a diamond. Eight and a half years ago, I'd given it to her and she'd given it back less than a week later. I had relegated it to the bottom of a cardboard box in the bottom of my closet for the next several years. But now it needed to come it. I wanted to take it to New York City with me. I wasn't sure she'd have me or if she was even single anymore. But I wanted to ask her the same question that I'd asked her in April of 1999. Something inside of me told me that if I asked again, this time she would say yes and this time things would work out, things would last.

Don't ask me why I was so sure that things would work out; it was just a hunch. Call me crazy if you want. But I was just pretty sure that if Anna was still the same person she'd been when she wrote her book, I knew exactly how the book was supposed to end. Currently, Anna was offering Gregory and Meghan two options. They could go through a painful break-up and go their separate ways. Eventually they would find love in other relationships although things would never be the same for either one. In fact, Meghan would end up leaving the United States and returning almost never. She would find love with someone in England and marry him, returning only for family weddings and funerals. Gregory, on the other hand, had stayed in the United States writing his column and being a doting uncle to his siblings' children. He never married although he did have numerous girlfriends throughout his life. Anna referred to him in that version of the ending as the "political version of George Clooney."

In the other ending, Gregory and Meghan still didn't end up together. After many years apart, they met again in Chicago when he was visiting family members and her father was declaring his candidacy for the presidency. Meghan was married to another man and had a young child; Gregory was engaged to a great young woman. The pair was able to maintain a friendship that would last them for many years. Their significant others became friends and their children played together. But things between them were never what they had been. They could never continue their romance and whatever feelings they might have had in the past were forced to remain bottled away eternally.

But in both those endings, Gregory and Meghan were eternally divided as were Anna and I. I was sure that this could change for both of us if I talked to Anna. She was my perfect match as was Meghan to Gregory. Everything that Matt had said about me in Chicago was true. Since the moment that Anna had told me that her family wanted us to end our relationship or at least our engagement, I had treated her with the emotional depth of an eight-year-old boy who had just lost a game of kickball to a girl. I had been weak and resentful. But all of that aside, I was in love with Anna Eliot as much as I had ever been, if not more. God help me; I loved her. I looked at the ring in my hand; eight years ago it had looked perfect on her delicate pale finger. Now, I was certain that it would fit that beautiful finger even better. I was determined to ask her to marry her. I didn't know if she would have me anymore. God knows I didn't deserve her. But I loved her and that had to mean something. I was willing to do whatever she wanted to win her back. I had been downright cruel to her. I had thrown myself at Gretchen Musgrove while a woman who was perfection incarnate, an absolute saint was standing in front of me. I had no right to ask her to take me back. But I loved her and I wanted to at least give it a shot.

So when I packed my suitcase to fly to New York, I put that ring in my carry-on. Sophia said that Anna was seeing Liam Walters. I knew that wouldn't last. Sophia said it wouldn't last because Anna was Liam's rebound girl. I knew it wouldn't last because Liam Eliot Walters was a self-serving asshole who only thought about himself and what he could do to improve his life. He'd used a willing Liz Eliot nearly a decade earlier and now he was using a hurt and confused Anna Eliot, trying to get at their dad's money and the prestige of the Eliot family name. There was the money from their mother and the prestige of the former Charlotte Radcliffe's family name. The Radcliffe family was really something in the old money circles of New England. Charlotte had married Walter Eliot, the son of wealthy neighbor who purely aspired to be the next John Wayne or Cary Grant but only had the acting talent and looks to be almost as good as Harrison Ford and the other heartthrobs of that era. Wally tried; he was still trying, but he just wasn't Cary Grant. But the Eliot family was still connected to New England old money; they might not have had much themselves but they had some money. And they had connections. Wally knew Harrison Ford; they'd been in a movie together once and had hit it off, or at least, that's how Wally told the story.

Whatever the stories were, there was money and prestige available for whoever chanced to marry the Eliot girls. And Liam Eliot Walters already stood to inherit a lot from Wally Eliot, including that beautiful but ridiculously large house. But if he married Anna or Liz, he would be able to get his hands on some of Charlotte Radcliffe-Eliot's money. In my opinion, that was what he really wanted; he was after money. I didn't want him to win Anna. She was mine; I had fallen for her when I was eighteen years old and now, ten years later, I was finally learning how to fight for what I wanted. And I was learning to think more rather than just make rash decisions that ended up hurting me and people around me. At the age of twenty-eight, I had figured out what I wanted. And I had finally learned how to fight for it. I had walked away from Anna eight and a half years ago but no more. I had learned what it meant to be a man, to fight for the one I loved. And now it was time for me to step up to the plate and win Anna back.

* * *

The first Sunday that we were in New York, I went to Divine Liturgy with Harry and Sophia before heading out to meet a friend from college, Rob Egan, and his wife Alicia for brunch. Rob and Alicia lived in Seattle but were in New York visiting Alicia's aunt, Catherine DeBourgh, for Thanksgiving. They were now living in Seattle where Rob was working as a computer programmer. I'd met Rob through Matt Hughes who had met him rooming blind their freshman year at the University of Michigan. Rob and I had gotten to be good friends and we kept in touch. I'd even been in his wedding party when he married Alicia a year earlier.

It was great seeing Rob and Alicia again. It was also good to talk to them about what had been going on in my life over the past several months. Alicia had a few harsh words for me about the way I'd treated both Gretchen and Anna. "You can't just do that," she said. "I'm surprised at you. I thought you had more respect for women than that."

"That's what Barb Hughes told me," I replied.

"Well, she's right," Alicia replied. "You have to respect women, Alex. You can't just walk all over a girl and expect her to take you back like nothing happened. I know Anna hurt you when you were younger but that's no excuse for you to mess with another girl like that. Women deserve better than that. But you also have to remember that Anna had reasons for ending your engagement."

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "I realized why she ended things," I said slowly.

"And why was that?" Alicia prodded.

"Her dad was going to cut her off from the family completely if she married me. She was nineteen, almost twenty, years old and her father was threatening to cut her off. Her mom had been dead for almost eight years then. Can you imagine how you'd feel if the only family you had was threatening to cut you off from them if you married the man you loved? She was nineteen. I shouldn't have pushed her like that when we were so young. I should have waited; she wanted to wait. She said we could get married later but we couldn't be engaged then. She told me that this wasn't she wanted. But her father and Sarah were going to cut her off completely if she married me or even stayed engaged to me. I told her she should have fought them on the issue. And then I yelled at her and stormed out of the room."

"And that was eight years ago?" Rob asked.

I nodded. "It was eight years and seven months ago. She must hate me."

"I would if I were her," Alicia said.

I looked at her for a moment. And then I told them about the book. "It's about your relationship with her?" Rob asked when I was done explaining. "And your sister asked you to read it over?"

"First off, I only think it's about us. And secondly, Sophia doesn't know about my past with Anna. She and Harry were never in the U.S. while we were dating."

"And when she got back, you never mentioned to her that you had briefly gotten engaged?" Alicia asked.

"My heart had been broken; I wasn't ready to talk about it."

"For eight years?" came from Rob.

"And you've been associating with Anna for the past five months," his wife added. "Your sister has gotten to be friends with your ex-fiancée and you never mentioned any of this to your sister?"

"I was trying to pretend that I didn't know Anna at all."

"You're pathetic," Rob told me.

"Apparently, I'm also an arrogant asshole," I replied.

"Well, I could have told you that," he said with a smile.

I sighed. "Anna told me that the last time I saw her."

"When was that?" asked Alicia.

I swallowed. "In August, we were in Chicago with her sister, brother-in-law, and two of Kevin's sisters."

"This was when you were with Ben Williamson and Matt and Barb?" Alicia asked.

I nodded. "So this was when Ben's now-fiancée was injured?" Rob added.

Again, I had to nod. "After Gretchen's fall, Anna and I were driving to the hospital; and while we were driving, we got into an argument about how things had ended between us eight years earlier. That was when she called me an arrogant asshole."

"I bet you deserved it." I looked at Alicia and she shrugged. "I'm sorry, Alex. But in this case, I'm going to have to side with Anna. I've heard you talk about what happened eight years ago and I think you are very biased. Granted, most people are biased towards themselves in most situations. But you've never given Anna a chance to defend herself."

"Until I read the book," I said. "That's the first time I've ever realized what really happened eight years ago."

"What do you mean?" Rob asked.

"I told you earlier that her father forced her to end our relationship. I didn't acknowledge that fact until recently. I used to think that it was her decision without much outside influence. I knew her father disapproved of me. I knew that Sarah Russell didn't like me. And I knew it was all because I wasn't as rich as they were. But I never guessed the degree to which they threatened her. Her father threatened to completely cut her off from all of her relatives and family friends and he was going to find a way to cut her off from the money she was due to inherit from her mother on her twenty-first birthday. But more than that, he went so far as to threaten her physically if she continued in a relationship with me. And Sarah, I don't know what she did. But I know she had a role in this. She was like a mother to Anna and she took advantage of the trust an innocent young woman placed in her."

"She put all that in the book?" Alicia gasped.

"You'll have to read the book when it is published to understand all of that. I can't explain all of it but basically, she changed all names and places and added and subtracted characters. The book is our story. And the only thing that is uncertain is the ending. She has two endings but I don't like either one. I have a third ending to propose to her."

Only after I said that did I realize how exactly I had phrased that sentence. "Are you planning on asking her to marry you?" Rob breathed.

"If she'll have me," I replied. "Which I don't think she will but it's worth a shot."

* * *

Sophia and I were planning on meeting Anna for coffee on Tuesday evening as Anna already had other plans with her sister on Monday. I didn't have anything to do that week, so I spent my Monday in bookstores reading. I spent a while in the children's section reading the five children's books Anna had written. She was an amazing writer. Her children's books were written like poetry; I could hear her soft melodic voice reading to them. She had a beautiful voice; during our sophomore year of college, she read to me almost every evening. She had just changed her major to English Language and Literatures. She would read me stories that had been assigned for classes but she also read me other things. I had to listen to a lot of Charles Dickens at one point. There was also the phase where she read C.S. Lewis to me every night. Anna loved Lewis's writings. We read all of the Space Trilogy and The Chronicles of Narnia. We even dabbled in a few of his other writings with more religious themes but Anna didn't like those as much. Her mother had been devoutly Roman Catholic and her father was pretty much either "lazy or an atheist, it was hard to tell," as she explained to me once. After her mom died, she was pretty much raised without religion. She said that she didn't know how she felt about God and felt weird reading books about religion. I was raised by a devoutly Greek Orthodox mother who had passed her faith unto her three children. My older brother, Nicholas, had fallen in love with the Church around the same time he fell in love with Anastasia Karapatskis. Luckily for my brother and Stasia, they were able to marry in the Church before he was ordained.

Anna was still uncertain about religion, as far as I could tell. In Chicago, I had caught her reading Mere Christianity but I didn't know if that really meant anything. She could just be curious or trying to read every book C.S. Lewis had written. Or I could be reading way too much into a girl reading one book. Anyway, I spent most of my day in bookshops reading. This turned out to be a good thing because that also happened to be one of the rainiest days I've ever encountered. It was a dreary day and it was a Monday and it was in November. I was never quite sure why but Anna hated November. I think that was the month during which her mother passed away. But I wasn't quite certain. I know she once said something about it being an exceptionally disagreeable month. Maybe I should have listened to her more. Maybe then I would have understood why she broke things off between the two of us.

As the day went on, I was getting cold and tired, so I ducked into a small coffee-shop around nine or so in the evening. And then I ran into a small dark-haired woman who was standing by the door looking very cold, wet, sad, and tired. I noticed all of these things because her eyes were extremely familiar and I had learned to read those eyes when I was eighteen years old. And there are something things that a man learns that he will never forget. In my life, one of those things was how to read Anna's captivatingly green eyes. So when I found myself staring into them, I wasn't quite sure what to say or do. And based on the fact that her mouth was just hanging wide open as she stared at me, I don't think she was very sure either. But very slowly, she said, "Hi, Alex, how are you?"

I smiled at her, probably looking like a complete and utter idiot. Finally, I spoke. "Hey, Anna," were the only words that made it out of my mouth. Did she have any idea how beautiful she was? She was just wearing a black trench coat, like Audrey Hepburn might wear, and a pair of dress pants. She was soaking wet and didn't look very happy but she was still gorgeous in my eyes.

"Are you enjoying the lovely weather?" she asked.

I laughed. "Of course, it's the perfect day."

"I'm sure I'd like it more if I were a duck," she replied.

"Did you hear about Ben and Gretchen?" I blurted. Don't ask me why I did that; I just did it. Sometimes my mouth operates independently of my brain. It's a really weird disease I have. It often results in the insertion of my foot in my mouth.

Thankfully, Anna just nodded. "I was stunned. I didn't know she was interested in him. He's so serious and she's so flighty."

"You know they say opposites attract," I replied with a smile.

We took a few steps away from the door but she was still watching it out of the corner of her eye. I suppose she was probably waiting for someone; she had been spending the day with her sister. And Sophia had mentioned that Anna was seeing Liam Walters. I didn't know why she was doing that; Liam was an asshole who could never deserve her.

"I just thought that he was so in love with Kathryn Hughes that he would never get over her. He was so serious, so passionate about his grief for her. I just didn't think he would ever get over her. He was always reading depressing poetry about lost love and loss of the desire to live."

I smiled at that remark. "And then he turns around gets engaged to the most vivacious person he's ever met," I added.

"Exactly," she replied. "I mean maybe they'll develop mutual interests with time but it just doesn't seem like they have that much in common."

"Maybe they'll teach each other a few things about life," I replied.

She nodded. "It's completely possible. Maybe she'll teach him to cheer up and look at the happier things in life."

"And he'll introduce her to Romantic poetry that you hate?" I teased.

She put a hand on her head and sighed. "Poetry is one thing. But I just don't see how things are going to work out for them. They're so different. But Kevin says that she's becoming more serious and getting interested in art and art history. She's interested in working as a docent or a curator in a museum."

"She'd be good at that. She'd get to talk all day long."

Anna laughed in a way that was both magical and lyrical. "Well, we'll see what happens."

I nodded. "Anna," I said slowly and firmly. "I don't know what happened to change Ben. He loved Kathryn truly and passionately. A man does not, should not, cannot recover from a love like that. It's just not human or possible."

She nodded and there was a brightness in her eyes I hadn't seen in years. She looked like she was about to say something but then the bell above the door rang as it open and then banged shut harshly. There stood Liam Walters, tall, blonde, and wet. "Anna, babe, let's go," he said.

I would never call Anna "babe." It was too common a term for her. She wasn't just "babe." She was so sophisticated that you had to use terms like "darling" to describe her. "Liam, this is Alex Wentworth," Anna's voice said, interrupting my thoughts. "Alex, this is my boyfriend, Liam Eliot."

I reached out my hand to shake his but he just nodded at me and grabbed Anna's hand and to lead her out of the coffee-shop. As he opened the door, she turned back to look at me. "I'll be at Kevin and Maya's hotel for dinner on Wednesday night. Harry and Sophia are also coming and you're also invited."

I nodded and then I watched as the door cruelly crashed shut behind them. I was left alone like I'd left her all those years ago. I wonder if she knew how pathetic I'd felt as I watched her walk out hand-in-hand with a man she and I had spent so much time mocking all those years ago. I did not like Liam Walters; he was a self-centered asshole. But I didn't have any right to argue with Anna about those sorts of things. So after ordering a chai latte, I headed home and found myself reading Anna's manuscript again.

_It was hard not to be angry with Meghan. I loved her and I wanted to marry her. But I knew what her dad was like. He hated the fact that his oldest son, Connor, was a registered member of the Republican Party. Connor was forever banished to the back of family portraits for that rebellion. But if his oldest daughter defected by not only joining the Republican Party but then married me-conservative blogger, columnist, commentator, and overall watchdog extraordinaire-he would flip out. That would destroy his dreams of becoming president. If I knew Senator Walsh, he had probably threatened his daughter with physical harm. Meghan didn't know that I knew how violent her father could be when he wanted. But I had seen the bruises she tried to hide. They weren't always physical, although they were at times, but I saw the wounds, the scars on Meghan's heart._

_If life really was like the movies, things would have been much simpler for us. In romantic comedies, things always work out for the gorgeous girl and her slightly dorky but still wonderfully amazing boyfriend. At the end of the movie, her family and friends who were opposed to their relationship would suffer humiliations galore. In our case, that would just mean people would finally see Senator Walsh as a corrupt hypocritical asshole. And then Meg and I could get married and settle down and raise a family together in peace. I would keep writing my column, she could teach as long as she wanted to, and we would have a peaceful life without any unnecessary interference from her dad or the rest of her family. Okay, Connor and Jessica could stick around; they were on our side. But they'd been where we were before. Connor was the black sheep of the family and rarely allowed around. But whenever the cameras were near them, James Walsh tried to act as buddy-buddy as possible with his oldest son. But backstage, in private life, he was as insulting as humanly possible. _

_It would be the same way for Anna if she married me. Most of the year, James would treat her like dirt, pond scum. But then when he needed his kids for his campaigns he would try to buy their love, or at least their time. I'm not sure James knew what love actually was. Oh sure he'd been married twice and produced four children. But with enough money and persuasion, you can get a lot of things these days. The Senator is a prime example of that. He makes me so angry._

_I love Meghan but I can't stand her date, politically or personally. But she loves him for being her father. And that's why things won't work out for us. He's a skunk; she deserves better but will never let herself get it. _

Reading Anna's book that night taught me something about her. She knew what her family was doing to her. She just didn't know how to escape. If this book was, as I believed it to be, Anna's final love letter to me, her last attempt to tell me the truth about our relationship. I had refused to listen to her explanation eight years earlier. Now she was writing this book, which told our story. Granted she had changed all the names and places. But the story was still a story about us. And I wanted to change both the ending that she gave to Meghan and Gregory and the ending that we'd given ourselves. So I'd go to dinner that night. It'd be good to see Kevin; I could barely stand his wife but he was a good guy. And I liked Jack Hayter; it would be nice to see him again. But I didn't want to see Anna with Liam. I didn't like him. Plus, he was standing between Anna and me.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I really want to know what people think of this.


	14. Not Everyone is Lucky Enough

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. I love reviewers. That's about it from me.

**Chapter Nine: Not Everyone is Lucky Enough**

_"Not everyone is lucky enough to understand how delicious it is to suffer."_

_-Katharine Hepburn_

* * *

I wanted Alex to come to dinner at the hotel with all of us Wednesday night. I was already supposed to meet Alex and Sophia for coffee earlier that afternoon but I wanted him at the hotel. I was finally ready to end things with Liam. I loved his little girls but I couldn't live a lie anymore. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't with me for the right reasons. Wednesday, I was meeting with Alex and Sophia to talk about my book. I was curious as to which ending they would choose. I guessed that Alex would chose the ending where Meghan and Gregory never saw each other again while his sister, a hopeless romantic, would most likely opt for the more cheerful ending in which they at least maintain a friendship. But I wanted their input. Most people I knew wouldn't really care. Natalie would probably have an opinion but she was in California and very busy with baby Stephen.

My dad, Liz, Penny, and Sarah didn't really care about my interest in writing. Liam mostly just laughed it off, calling it a good way to make some money on the side but something that would "probably never really amount to anything." Of course he didn't think teaching was a very honorable profession either. "You just let little kids spit up all over you all day and get paid shit for it. Why the hell do you do it anyway?"

In his defense, he was a few sheets to the wind when he said that. But some people are more honest drunk than they are sober. And being around someone who gets drunk habitually isn't a strong decision. Alex used to tell me that hanging out with partiers and drunks "that just isn't a solid decision." Solid was always Alex's favorite word. To him it meant more than just "having three dimensions (length, breadth, and thickness), as a geometrical body or figure" or "without openings or breaks." "Firm, hard, or compact in substance" comes close. But it still doesn't do the job. For Alex, solid meant that it was quality, good, decent, and honorable. It was being a good person. Liam wasn't what Alex would call solid. In fact, I believe about nine years ago his exact word to describe Liam was "chump." To Alex, that word meant worthless moron or complete and utter idiot. It also generally referred to someone who didn't treat women the way Alex thought they should be treated. Respect for women was really important to him then.

I was curious to see how he would react to the book. I was almost certain that he would figure out that it was our story. The parallels were too clear. It was our story, loud and clear. Meghan had dark brown curls and green eyes. Gregory's blue eyes might throw him for a bit. But he had to know. I doubted that Sophia would ever figure out that it was semi-autobiographical without being told. But surely Alex would remember. As he said, a man cannot recover from something like that. I knew he was talking about Ben and Matt's deceased sister, Kathryn. But some small secret part of me wanted him to also be talking about our relationship. I wanted things to work out for us.

* * *

Wednesday was a half day at school. I left the school around one or one-thirty and made my way to the coffee-shop where I'd arranged to meet Alex and Sophia. As I was heading to the coffee-shop, Sophia called me. "I'm going to have to postpone our coffee date. I'm feeling absolutely horrible. I've been throwing up all day and I can't keep anything down. Harry is out with friends and I asked Alex to stay here with me and keep me company. I'm so sorry about this. Hopefully I'll be feeling better on Friday and we can meet up then."

"Just get better," I told her.

"I think it's just a stomach bug. I should be better soon."

"I hope you're better in time for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow."

She sighed. "That would be wonderful. I'd hate it if I missed out on Thanksgiving dinner. I love turkey and mashed potatoes. And I've been really craving some spiced-up stuffing."

I smiled. "That sounds wonderful."

"And we'll reschedule for sometime Friday afternoon. Would meeting the same place at three o'clock Friday work for you?"

"I'm pretty much free all day Friday so that'd be fine."

"Great," she said. Sophia was one of those people who have an almost audible smile. When she's happy, it translates into her voice and you can feel it whether you're a mile away or there's a country separating the two of you. "I'll talk to Alex and we'll meet you then."

"Will we be seeing you at Maya and Kevin's tonight?" I asked.

"We're hoping to be there," she replied. "Alex and Harry will definitely be there; I'm hoping I'm feeling up to at least putting in an appearance and eating some soup."

"I hope to see you. And I'll definitely see you on Friday."

* * *

That evening, my sister and brother-in-law were hosting an evening of ethnic foods to celebrate Thanksgiving in their suite at the Plaza Hotel. They had arranged to have caterers serve foods from about a dozen different ethnic backgrounds ranging from Italian to Lebanese to Armenian to Eastern European to Ethiopian. The attire for the event was business casual, which really meant that if I changed my shoes I could wear the same things I wore at school all day. I usually wore black or gray dress pants and a nice shirt with a pair of comfortable flats; occasionally I wore a skirt but it was harder to get down at the kids' level in most skirts. So I wore a pair of black trouser pants, a wine blouse, and a pair of dark red shoes Natalie had made me buy in May despite my firm conviction that I would never wear them. Well, I was wearing them now. I was also being forced to spend time with Wally, Liz, Penny, and Sarah. And Alex and Liam would be in the same room, which could be interested. On Monday night, Liam had made it clear to me that he didn't like Alex. "He's just weird. Isn't he that weirdo you went on a couple dates with back in college?"

I disagreed with it because Alex isn't weird and we went on way more than a few dates. We were engaged, even if it were only for a few days. But we dated for over a year and a half. That's much more than a date or two. But Alex is a worthless nobody as far as Liam is concerned. And that is something I can't stand about Liam. Good honest people like Alex were worthless to him because they weren't as rich as he was. He told me he liked the company of intellectuals and people who thought about more important things than the latest issue of _Cosmo_. But then he spent so much time around people like that. He claimed to love children but then always shoved Maddie and Alexis off on their nannies. I was starting to lose patience with this man. And I didn't love him. So why was I in a relationship with him?

* * *

My phone rang just as I was about to walk out the door. It was Natalie so I picked up. I hadn't talk to her in a while and I figured my sister's gig could wait a couple extra minutes. "I have big news for you," she said after we exchanged greetings and pleasantries.

"What's up?"

"We got to Columbus this afternoon and Andrew picked us up from the airport. But here's the thing. He wasn't alone."

"What? Was one of your younger sisters with him?"

"Nope, my brother has a girlfriend. You can't marry him after all."

I started laughing. "I'll live, Nat; I promise. I know you and your sisters really had your hearts set on me marrying him but I wasn't as set on it."

"Good, because I have no objections to this girl; in fact, she's sort of a friend of our family and I love her."

"Who is she?"

"Emma Gobetti," she replied.

"Name sounds familiar but I'm not sure I know her."

"Have you ever met Cecilia Eusani?"

I thought for a minute. "Is she dark-haired, kind of looks like your family?"

Natalie laughed on the other end of the phone. "She's my cousin. She went to the University of Michigan."

"Oh, so she's the black sheep of the family?"

"Her whole family lives in Michigan so we just chalk it up to insanity. Anyway, you probably met Cecilia the summer you were working on your master's. She was living with my parents that summer."

"Oh, the girl with the first-degree burn from a sunburn?"

"That's her."

Natalie had a cousin who was a couple years younger than her. She had been spending the summer with the Bakers the same summer that I'd been in Columbus working on my master's degree. When I arrived in town, Cecilia had just received awful sunburn the weekend before. The burn turned out to be a first-degree burn and resulted in Cecilia spending most of her summer indoors or during about five layers of sunscreen.

"So who is Andrew dating? He can't date his cousin."

"You're dating your second-cousin. You can't talk."

"I'm going to break up with him."

"Then just do it and stop telling me about it."

"I will; don't worry. But back to the original point of all of this; who is your brother dating?"

"Cecilia's husband's sister, Emma Gobetti," she said. "Cecilia got married over the summer to this great guy named Ben Gobetti. I doubt that you've ever met him. But he's Catholic and Italian."

"Everything that she is," I said. Natalie's mother was one-hundred percent Italian.

"Exactly," Natalie replied. "Anyway, the week before the wedding, Ben introduced Andrew to his sister, Emma. And it turns out that the two of them have been dating for about three or four months. They just told their families about it in the past week or two."

"So I'm not going to be marrying your brother after all."

"I guess not. But I like Emma."

"Well, I've got a family function to head to. So give your regards to your family and have a great Thanksgiving."

"You too," she replied. "And hopefully, I'll see you soon."

"I'm coming to see you at Christmas," I told her. "And that's a promise."

"Then I'll see you then."

* * *

When I walked into Maya and Kevin's suite, things were already bustling. My dad was there with Penny draped on his arm in something that screamed "DESIGNER" and Liz was standing nearby them beaming like a jack-o-lantern. They were having a discussion about the fact that beauty is extremely rare and there are far too many "useless ugly people" in the world. "Far too many beautiful people marry ugly people and make ugly children," my sister was saying. "It's just a horrible cycle."

"Oh, look, Wally, it's Annie," Penny was saying as I drew closer. I hadn't really intended to stop and talk to them, just pass by politely and then move on. I could see Alex across the room talking to Kevin. Liam was nowhere to be seen but that didn't surprise me. He was all about making a fashionably late entrance. Also, he told me that he was probably going to be coming with Regina and Vanessa, "out of family duty, you know," he'd told me the night before as he kissed my neck.

"My darling Annie," my father said, taking me by the arm and leading me over to his circle of blonde ninnies. "How is the world of the education of small children treating you?"

"It's fine; I'm fine," I replied. After exchanging air kisses with Liz and Penny, I quickly exchanged pleasantries with the group. I was clearly unwanted, so I told them that I wanted to go say hello to Kevin and Maya and see my little nephews.

"Tell them we say hello," Liz said. "We've been meaning to go over and greet them but we've just been too busy. Give Maya a kiss for me, Annie."

I gritted my teeth against being called "Annie." I hated that name but my father and Liz insisted on calling me that. So, I replied using her hated childhood nickname. "I'll get right on it, Lisbon."

She stomped on my foot as I walked away. I sighed and began walking towards Kevin and Alex. My brother-in-law greeted me with a hug. "Annabelle, how are you? The little boys have been looking for you all night!"

I hugged him back. "I'm doing well. If you show me to the little buggers, I'll entertain them for you."

"I'll join you in that endeavor, Anna," Alex offered. "I'm not much for making conversation with strangers or small talk. I think I'd be much better at talking to two toddlers and a woman I actually know and to whom I might actually enjoy talking." He turned to me. "Would you mind some company with your nephews?"

I laughed. "They're hyper little guys. I'd love some help." If Alex was still willing to talk to me after everything that had happened in Chicago, then I was willing to spend time with him. Maybe he'd grown up and discovered some sense.

* * *

I soon found myself ensconced in the little boys' room with Tony in my lap and Josh in Alex's lap. "Aunt Anna is back!" Josh had exclaimed when I walked into the room. "She went away and we didn't know when she was going to come back."

"Well, I'm back now," I told him. "I moved to New York at the end of the summer."

"And you didn't even say good-bye," my nephew replied.

I kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm here now."

"And you had better come home with us on Sunday. I like you and you left me. Why did you leave me, Aunt Anna?"

"Grandpa Wally and Aunt Liz asked me to move to New York and help them out."

"But they're never nice to you."

Alex's eyes were twinkling. I could guess what he was thinking; he knew how my family treated me. But instead of saying anything, he just started tickling Josh, distracting him from his diatribe against me. After a few minutes of struggle, the little guy gave up and snuggled up against Alex. "I like you, Dr. Alex. You're nice. You should marry my aunt Anna."

"I thought your aunt was dating Mr. Walters."

"I don't like him. He's mean and he doesn't like kids."

I sighed and leaned back against the bed behind me. "Mr. Walters can be nice, Josh," I said.

"Not when I'm around," he replied. "He always says that the kids need to scram so the adults can do their thing."

I saw Alex's eyebrows raise and I shrugged. "I'll talk to him about it."

"You promise?" the little boy asked.

I nodded solemnly and he smiled. Then I looked at Tony in my lap. "What do you want to do, little man?"

"Can we make sugar cookies?"

"I love sugar cookies!" Josh shouted.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing but Alex couldn't resist. He was laughing a loud, beautiful belly laugh. Then, Josh added, "Aunt Anna smells like sugar cookies and she sings like Pocahontas."

"That's high praise," Alex said before bursting out into another bout of laughter.

"And she's pretty," Josh added. "So you should marry her."

"I don't know about that one," I told him. "Just because I'm pretty and I smell like sugar cookies and I can sing like Pocahontas doesn't mean that Dr. Alex should marry me."

Alex's eyes were clouded over, which worried me. I didn't know what he was thinking. "Do you think your mom has any sugar cookies at the party?" he asked Josh suddenly.

"Nope," he replied quickly. "She doesn't serve kid foods at parties. Old Mrs. Dalrymple doesn't like it."

I laughed. "Don't let anyone hear you call her that, Joshie."

"She's an old witch. Everyone hates her except Grandpa Wally and Auntie Lisbon." Then he looked at Alex. "We're not supposed to call her Auntie Lisbon but I don't care. She's mean."

"That's not a nice thing to say," he told the little boy.

"Oh well, I won't say it in front of her."

* * *

We played with the little guys for a while longer, mostly just trying to wear them out before their nannies put them to bed. At eight-thirty, Sarah appeared in the doorway to inform me that Regina and Vanessa were arriving with Eliot and it was my duty as their cousin and Eliot's girlfriend to be waiting for them with a winning smile and a drink in hand for Eliot. So I found myself being bustled off to the foyer of the suite with a glass of champagne in my hand. And despite my desire to swallow the entire glass in one gulp, I didn't. I hate champagne but I hate pretentious wealthy relatives more. Nevertheless, Liam walked into the room with our "dear Cousin Regina and her charming daughter, Vanessa." Regina was leaning on his right arm and Vanessa was on the other. However, he immediately passed the ladies off to my father and took the champagne from me. "They're absolutely horrible, those two broads," he whispered in my ear. "Please entertain me with intelligent conversation for the rest of my life and by the time I die, I may have recovered from today."

I smiled and took the empty champagne glass from his hand. "They aren't that bad."

"Anna, they are both completely full of themselves. I had to listen to Vanessa tell me how smart she is."

"And how smart is she?" I asked as I saw Alex across the room. As I was leaving the room, the nannies had come in to put the kids to bed. Alex had left just after I did and now he was talking to Harry and Sophia. Since Vanessa and Regina were here, the dinner could officially start. Wally didn't want Maya and Kevin to start things without "the most important members of our family."

"She went to Harvard," Liam said. "She thinks it's the biggest deal ever. I went to Yale."

"But Harvard is better," I replied. "Don't ask me why but I think it has something to do with the fact that her father went there."

"Yeah and then he probably bought her way into the school. She's so dumb." He paused as he found our way to our assigned seats. "Does she dye her hair brown?"

I glanced over at Vanessa who was talking to Wally, Penny, and Liz. My father had his arm around Penny's waist and she was leaning her head against his shoulder. Liz was beaming. I knew she wanted Wally and Penny to get married or whatever. She loved Penny and she was open to anything that kept her in her life longer. I don't know if she realized that if Wally married Penny, it meant that her kids would stand to inherit part of his money. And then if they had kids together, they would definitely get some of the money and property. This was why Mom had put all of her money into trust funds before she died. She didn't trust her own husband. But Liz didn't understand any of that. She just saw Dad as something she wanted to be.

Standing next to Liam when Alex was in the same room served as a wake-up call to me; I realized that I was with someone I didn't like. If I stayed with Liam I would become someone I didn't want to be. He didn't support me in my career choices. Alex, on the other hand, was the kind of person who would help me and encourage me. He would be a devoted father, not someone trying to brush his kids off on someone else. And I knew that I had to break up with Liam and I had to do it by midnight. Call me crazy but I knew that I needed to become a free woman by midnight. If I couldn't have Alex, I was going to become a female monk. Maybe I meant hermit; I wasn't really sure. But I bet Alex knew that kind of stuff. He was really good at explaining the weirdest stuff. It probably had something to do with the fact that his brother is a priest. If your brother is a priest, it's probably required that you know what a hermit is. They probably haul you off to the seminary one weekend and make you learn all that stuff.

* * *

About halfway through dinner, I saw Alex stand up to leave the room. I had been listening to Liam prattle about some business investment he wanted to talk to his broker about. I didn't care about money the way he did. Alex understood how I felt about money. But then money was something that he hadn't had much of when he was a kid. I was sick of Liam and his crap. So I quickly excused myself, saying that "I'm just feeling a little off. I'm going to step out for a minute or two and catch my breath."

"Whatever you want, babe," was Liam's response.

I sighed as I followed Alex out of the room. I was walking much faster than he was and despite his long legs, I quickly caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder. "Alex, are you all right?" I asked him as he turned around.

"It was getting hot in there and I didn't know very many people. My sister said I could leave and I was getting bored and tired."

"So there was no one worth staying for?"

He shrugged. "You were talking to your boyfriend and Kevin was busy with Maya. And the little guys went to bed." The way he said boyfriend it was more like a dagger to the heart than a simple word.

"That makes sense," I replied simply not wanting to let him know that I was offended. "You should have at least said good-bye to Maya or Kevin."

"I should have. Will you pass the message along to them? Tell Maya the food was delicious."

I nodded stiffly. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay; I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to know that I was through with Liam. I would have given anything to be able to tell him that I was through with the pompous, posing jerk. But instead, I just said, "I'll let them know. Have a happy Thanksgiving."

"You too, Anna," he replied and then stopped short. "Mr. Walters, it's good to see you again."

I turned around to see Liam standing behind me. "Are you all right, babe?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around me possessively.

I could see that Alex was upset by this gesture but trying not to let it show. I nodded. "I'm feeling a bit better. The dining room was getting too hot for me."

"I'm going to be going now," Alex awkwardly slipped back into the conversation. "Anna, I'll see you on Friday."

"See you later," I replied.

"Bye, Allan," Liam said as my perfect man walked out of my sister's hotel suite.

"His name is Alex," I told Liam.

"Whatever, we're not here to talk about him; we're here to talk about you and me." He took my hands in his and looked deeply into my eyes. His light blue eyes were nice but I preferred Alex's dark brown orbs.

"What's going on?"

"You're gorgeous, babe. And you've got a great personality. You're always nice to everyone. And you like kids, which I think is weird but it's totally great because you play with my little brats. Anyway," he said, running his hand through his blond locks. "I love you a lot and I want to marry you. I'll buy Kellynch from your dad and you can live there with Maddie and Lexie. It'll be great. Just marry me, babe."

Where the hell did that come from? I wanted to dump the guy and he wanted to marry me. So I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Here's the thing, Liam. You're a good guy and I like spending time with you. But we're two very different people. We're in different places in our lives. You want to marry me because you think I'm young and beautiful and I can survive in your world. I'll be a mother to your daughters and you can pretty much do what you want if you're married to me. But you'd expect me to stop teaching and give up the lifestyle I've become used to. I love working and spending time with kids and people. I'm not looking for a life of high fashion and luxury. I just want a simple life of home and family and work. I'm not the woman you want to marry."

"But Anna, I love you."

I laughed and pulled my hands out of his grasp. "You love the idea of me. You like the idea of a smart young woman who will take care of your children and provide you with a wife. But I'm more than that. I've spent most of my life doing what other people want me to do and I'm sick of that. I want to do things because I want to do them. And I only want to get married once. And I don't want to marry you. I don't love you. And I can't marry a man I don't love." I pressed my lips and smiled at him grimly. "I'm sorry, Liam Eliot. You're a good man but you're not the man for me."

He grabbed my wrists firmly and pulled me close to him. He smashed his lips against mine and fiercely held me. When he finally released me, he sighed and pushed me away. "I'll ask you again tomorrow night at Thanksgiving dinner. I know that I'm the man for you. You just don't know it yet."

"I'm leaving now, Liam," was my only response. "I'm tired and stressed and I just don't have time for this. I don't have time for you."

"We're meant to be together," he called after me as I walked out the door. "Just wait and you'll see."

* * *

I took the subway home, thinking about the men in my life the whole trip. Alex was barely involved in my life. Kevin was a great brother-in-law although he was a little clueless as to his wife's quirks. Liam was self-centered and determined to keep me in his life. Wally was self-centered and not really interested in my life. Alex had been the best guy for me. He cared about me and he put me ahead of himself. He was honorable and decent. And I liked him. But that wouldn't happen unless he had changed since August. When I got back to my apartment, I took a shower and went to bed. The next day was Thanksgiving and I didn't want to deal with all the family drama. But sleep was all I could do right now.

* * *

A/N: Please review! I just realized how fast this story is progressing. Wow…we're getting close to the end.


	15. Linked to the Heart

A/N: I love reviewers. I don't own _Persuasion_.

**Chapter Ten: Linked to the Heart**

"_For me, the only things of interest are those linked to the heart."_

_-Audrey Hepburn_

* * *

_I was sitting on a bench at Millennium Park in Chicago with my daughter, Tessie, when I saw a familiar dark-haired man walking past. It looked like Gregory Fenton, but I couldn't be sure. The last I'd heard from mutual friends, Greg was living in Connecticut full time while considering a run of the House of Representatives. I, for my part, had married Jacob Spencer about three years ago. Tessie was about two years old and she was beautiful. My father was planning on announcing his bid for the presidency of the United States that afternoon. So Jacob and I had brought Tessie and my pregnant belly to Chicago to make my father happy. We would smile and pose for pictures and make my dad happy. _

_Greg was still blogging. Maybe that was what had brought him to Chicago, if indeed this dark-haired man was Gregory. But he was continuing to approach me, so I would know in a short time. When he was directly in front of me, the man looked at me for a brief second before continuing on his way. I didn't see his face well, so I wasn't sure who he was. But he stopped and turned around. "Meghan Walsh? Is that you?"_

_I looked up and my ex-boyfriend was standing there. "Gregory," I said with a smile. "It's actually Meghan Spencer now, but the same person essentially."_

_He sat down on the bench next to me. "So you got married?" _

"_Three years ago and Tessie was born two years ago," I replied. _

_The little girl in my lap spoke up to announce, "I'm Tessie!" _

"_Hi, Tessie," he said, shaking her small hand. "My name is Gregory and I'm an old friend of your mother."_

_She shook his hand and smiled at him. "You look okay," was all she said before inserting her thumb in her mouth._

"_Who is the lucky man?"_

"_Jacob Spencer, a friend of Connor's; he's a lawyer."_

"_What are his political leanings?"_

_I laughed. "Actually, he happens to be a Republican. You'd like him."_

_Greg was smiling. "I like him already."_

"_So is there anyone important in your life these days?" I asked._

_The smile broadened and he said, "I'm engaged. Her name is Brenna Majors. I met her through a friend."_

"_I want to meet her sometime," I told him._

"_Hey, I want to meet this Jacob."_

"_Tessie is his biggest fan," I replied with a smile. "She adores her daddy."_

"_As well she should," he said. "So, how long are you in Chicago for? We really should try to get together for dinner."_

_I nodded. "We're busy this week but if you give me your cell phone number, I can try to call you and let you know what we're up to. We're here for family business."_

"_Involving the Senator, I presume?"_

"_Oh, but of course," I replied. "But because you're technically the press, I can't tell you what is happening."_

_He laughed. "Well, I'll just find out when the rest of the country does."_

"_And you'll see all the faked photos my dad forces on us."_

_Gregory smiled at that. He of all people knew how truly fake the Walsh family was. That was one of many reasons I had married Jacob. He was genuine. What you saw was what you got. My dad didn't like him but I'd gotten over that. I loved Jacob and that was that for me. And once he gave me Tessie I knew he was the man for me. My dad just didn't matter that much to me anymore. _

"_So are you guys expecting another baby?" Gregory's voice burst through my thoughts._

_I nodded and put a hand on my belly. "This one is due in about two and a half months, so it'll be near the beginning of July."_

"_That's exciting."_

"_The Senator suggested we aim for a Fourth of July baby."_

"_How patriotic," he replied. _

"_Tessie was born on the feast of St. Teresa of Avila. The fourth of July is the feast of St. Ulric and St. Bertha, so we suggested those as possible names for the baby."_

"_Do you not know the gender?"_

_I shook my hand. "We're being traditional here. We want a surprise." _

_He smiled. "I like that."_

"_Well, Tessie was a surprise so we're doing it again." _

* * *

Tessie was a great name; I wanted to use it if I ever had a daughter. That was part of the good ending to Greg and Meghan's story. I liked that way; they got to be friends. Alex and I weren't really friends. We were friendly acquaintances but it looked like we could never be anything more. Nevertheless, I really admired and respected Alex. He was a good person. He didn't always treat me well. But he was a good brother to Sophia. And he was fabulous with my nephews. I was curious to see what he was like with his nieces. I would dearly love to see him as an uncle or a father someday. I knew he already was an uncle but I would love to actually see him performing that role. Tony and Josh adored him. He was, like Gregory Fenton, a natural with kids. That had always been obvious. Our sophomore year of college, we had frequently baby-sat my Brit Lit professor's two young children. He was amazing with Abigail and Tyler. I'm not sure if he liked them more than they liked him or vice versa. But he was amazing with them. He would snuggle with them and they loved playing with him. They would beg him to put them to bed or tell stories to them. There were a couple times when he couldn't come with me and Ty and Abby would cry and beg me to call Alex and make him play with us.

But things like that were in the past. Alex and I, our relationship was in the past. I needed to move on with my life and find someone else. But Liam was a jerk and Andrew had found someone else. And my cell phone was ringing.

"Hello, Anna Eliot speaking," I said.

"Hey, Anna, it's Alex. I know that it's Thanksgiving and you have family plans but Harry had an urgent question for you. But Sophia still isn't feeling well, so I was wondering if we could meet up someplace and talk about it."

"I'm supposed to be at my dad's for dinner at two," I told him. "But I'm free until then."

"Could we meet up for coffee around eleven?" he asked.

"That's in fifteen minutes," I told him.

"Okay, I could just come over to your apartment," he said. "Where is it?"

We figured out that I lived fifteen minutes from his hotel, so we said quick good-byes and he left to make his way to my place. Right after I got off the phone with him, my sister called and informed me that her suite had been invaded by Marietta, Jackson, Charles, and Alicia. "I'm coming over to your place. It's too loud. I can't get the boys ready for dinner with all these Musgroves taking over my life."

"All right," I sighed. I knew she wouldn't be able to escape her in-laws. If she left, they would follow her. And then I would have Alex and the Musgroves taking over my apartment. What the heck did he even want to talk to me about? More to the point, what did Harry want to talk to me about? After all, Harry was the one sending his brother-in-law to take care of his business.

Then, at five till eleven, Sarah Russell called informing that we needed to have a pow-wow before dinner. "I was talking to Liam last night and he told me some fascinating news. We must talk darling."

"I'm a little busy," I told her. "Maya is coming over with the little guys."

She sighed. "That's all right. I won't be there for long. I just need to talk to you for a couple minutes and then I'll be gone."

"Fine," I said before taking my turn to sigh. My turn was so much more necessary than hers.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," she promised.

"You and the whole damn circus," I said as she hung up and the doorbell rang.

* * *

Alex Wentworth had no right looking like he belonged on the cover of _People_'s "Sexiest Man Alive" issue at eleven o'clock in the morning while I was considering the upcoming invasion of my apartment. But there he was wearing dark blue jeans with a dark gray sweater that was unzipped to mid-chest to reveal a navy blue shirt underneath. His dark brown hair was still damp from the shower and beautifully curly. For my part, I was wearing blue jeans and a jade blouse. My hair was also curly and wet from the shower but it needed to be styled or something. "Can I come in?" he asked when I opened the door.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I'm sorry. I'm a little overwhelmed."

"I can imagine," he said following me into the apartment. "From what I hear, you had a pretty exciting night after I left last night."

"If by exciting, you mean ridiculous and obnoxious, then yes," I replied.

"Most girls I know wouldn't call a proposal of marriage obnoxious," he said as we went into the living room. "But then since you've been proposed to before, maybe things were a little different for you."

"First off, you had a ring for me when you proposed," I told him as I sat down in my favorite armchair. "And secondly we'd been dating for about a year and a half when you proposed. Liam and I have only been together for about three months. But let's put that aside. What did Harry want you to talk to me about?"

"Now that you and Liam are engaged, apparently he wants to buy Kellynch from your father so the two of you can live there. And Harry and Sophia were wondering if this was true."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I wanted to vomit but that would have to wait until I was near a trashcan or the toilet. "Did Liam tell people that I had accepted his proposal of marriage?"

A look of confusion overtook the hard anger that had controlled Alex's face up to that point. "Sophia told me that after you left, Liam/Eliot came back into the room and announced that he had asked you to marry him and you had accepted. He then announced that he was going to buy Kellynch from your father and you would be moving them almost immediately to live with his two little girls. All of that was because Kellynch was the beloved home of your beloved mother." He looked up at me with his stormy dark eyes. "Isn't that true?"

I shook my head and I could feel tears pouring down my cheeks. "He asked me to marry him. He offered me all of those things. But I told him no. I can't marry him. I don't love him. I barely know him."

I heard the door to my apartment open and looked up to see Sarah walking in. "Anna, congratulations!" she said. "I'm so excited for you to marry Eliot and live in your mom's house."

"Sarah," I said, grabbing her shoulders. "Stop it now. I'm not going to marry Liam. He's lying to try to trap me into marrying him. It's a lie. Just stop and leave. I'll explain everything to you later. I need to talk to Alex now. And Maya will be over with the little boys at any moment now."

"I'm your godmother," she protested. "Your mother asked me to look after you."

"I'm twenty-eight years old for Christ's sake!" I yelled. "I don't need you to run my life anymore. I need you to shut up and butt out of my life. You talk too much and you tell me what to do when it's not necessary. Get your own goddamn kid if you think you'd be such a great mother."

Alex looked almost as stunned as my interfering godmother did. She looked like she was about to protest when the bell rang. "Just leave," I told her. "Maya and the kids are here and we know you can't stand them. Alex, if you could just stay for a moment, I'll talk to you after I figure things out with my sister."

* * *

I opened the door to let Sarah out and Maya came through the door carrying Tony and leading Josh by the hand. Then they were followed by her mother-in-law, Marietta, and Jackson. "Kevin and Charles stayed at the hotel," my sister reported. "But the rest of them came along. The boys need to nap before we got to Wally's place. Where can I put them?"

"I don't want a nap!" Josh yelled.

My hands were shaking as I showed my sister to my bedroom where she dumped her toddlers before collapsing on the bed beside them. I sighed and went back to the living room where Alicia, Jack, and Marietta had settled themselves and were discussing wedding plans. "Where's Alex?" I asked. "Did he leave?"

"He went to the kitchen," Marietta replied. "He said something about tea or something."

I took a deep breath and headed into the kitchen where Alex was watching my kettle sit on the stove. "You know a watched pot never boils," I told him.

"Green tea or raspberry with lemon?" he asked.

"Lemon-razz," I replied. "You don't have to make me tea."

"Yes I do," he said, taking my quivering hands in his large steady ones. "You're getting overwhelmed and you're either going to have an asthma attack or get a migraine." Suddenly, he was picking me up and setting me on the counter. "Take a deep breath, Annabelle."

He hadn't called me Annabelle in eight and a half years. His fingers were massaging my shoulders and he was quietly singing to me in Greek. None of this had happened in years. And then I leaned into his shoulder and started crying. I was sure he would pull away. Instead, he just kept singing and tracing circles on my shoulders. Then the kettle started whistling. "I'll take care of the tea and then be right back," he whispered before letting go of me.

While he was making the tea, he kept holding onto one of my hands with his left hand. When the tea was ready, he handed it to me. "Thank you," I said, taking it from him. I took a sip and smiled. "It's as good as it was back in college."

"You always were the inspiration," he replied. "It's better when you're around."

Just then, Jackson stuck his head in the kitchen. "Hey, Alex and Anna, can you settle a debate for us?"

"What's up?" he asked.

"Do you think it's appropriate for Gretchen and Ben to get married in February? They just met in August."

"Nope," I said. "They should wait until at least August. How do you think Kathryn's family feels about this? He was involved with their daughter for years and then he just suddenly starts dating this little blonde chick from Los Angeles."

"I'm with her," Alex added. "It just looks shady."

"Hey, Marie," Jack yelled. "Alex and Anna are both against it."

Marietta came into the kitchen then and wrapped her arms around her fiancé's waist. "What do they know? They're old."

"We're only twenty-eight," Alex complained. "And we've both been in failed relationships. We know what it feels like to have someone leave you."

"Well, Anna is engaged to Liam now, so that problem has been cured," Marietta replied.

Alex sighed as I said, "We're not engaged. Liam lied last night. It's a long story and I don't want to get in to it. And I'll tell you it took me a long time to get over the last guy."

"Kevin," his sister said with a hint of excitement in her voice.

"No," I said watching shock overwhelm Alex's face. "It was someone from college. We were very close and my heart was broken when I had to end things." His grip on my hand tightened and I squeezed his hand, hoping he would get the message. I continued, "I loved this man and was distressed when we broke up. I can't imagine being that close to someone and then losing them. I think it might kill me to go through that. I know Kathryn has been dead for about three years but I can't imagine marrying someone else three years after the death of the love of my life. Maybe men are less faithful, more heartless than women."

"Never," Alex protested, maintaining his grip on my hand. "We might be crueler. We might treat you with less regard. But we just suck at dealing with emotions. We don't know how to handle things like that. So we just turn inwards and put on a cold, hard face to the world. We don't want anyone to know what we're feeling. The downside is that we end up hurting innocent people."

"I suppose you speak from experience?" Jack asked him. "Did this have to do with some friend of yours or something?"

"I got dumped rather cruelly when I was in college," he replied. "And I was dumb and immature about it. I treated the girl like shit when she didn't deserve it. I was an asshole when she deserved someone who was much more patient and understanding. The young lady deserves an apology."

He was suddenly looking into my eyes and I was a little afraid of what I was seeing there. There was an almost unrestrained passion there. He was looking at me in a way I hadn't seen in ages. All of this was so strange, so different than the way he'd been for the past several months. I was really starting to wonder what was going on there. Was Alex interested in me? Had some long smoldering hidden passion been awakened in him? What the heck was going on?

"You two are weird," Marietta said. "I think that it's fine for Gretchen and Ben to get married in February. After all, who can stop the course of true love?"

"Who indeed?" Alex asked, squeezing my hand. "If it is meant to be, love will find a way. It may take time and effort to heal a breach. But if two people are willing to work on their relationship, they can make it work."

"But love takes time," I added. "You can't just meet someone and fall in love and get married. You have to get to know the person first."

"Exactly, and it takes time to get over a lost love. You can't just marry your rebound girl."

"Gretchen is NOT Ben's rebound girl!" Marie protested.

Jack kissed her. "Babe, they're just speaking generally, not about Gretchen specifically."

"They love each other! They're getting married because they love each other. She's not his rebound girl. Jack, tell them to stop talking about lost love and Ben's dead fiancée. She's dead; it's over. Just make them stop."

"Love is stronger than death," Alex whispered in my ear. "You can't just recover from the death of a loved one."

"Hey, I'm on your side," I replied.

Suddenly, Alex pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and opened it. "Hey Harry, no she doesn't need the house. It's a long story. I'll explain later. Yeah, I'll pick up some Sprite for Sophia on my way back. No it's not a problem. Yeah, I'll be back shortly. Sure, I'm leaving now. I'll see you in a couple." He closed the phone and smiled. "I've got to run. I'll see you guys soon."

I followed him to the front door. "Is Sophia all right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, she's just pregnant."

"Are you serious? That's wonderful."

A smile lit up his face. "I'm excited. They just found out a couple days ago. She's due in May."

I hugged him impulsively. "Tell her I said congratulations. Will I still see you two tomorrow?"

"You'll definitely see me," he replied. "If Sophia can't come, I'll bring her notes or something."

"Then I'll see you then," I said.

He ran his thumb down my cheek in a way that was shockingly intimate. "Stay strong," he told me. "Just keep breathing."

"You too," I replied.

* * *

"Why don't you guys think that Ben and Gretchen should get married?" Marie asked me after I shut the door behind Alex.

"We don't think that. We just think they're getting married awfully fast," I replied.

"They're in love!"

"Won't that love last for a few months while they get to know each other better?" I asked.

She sighed. "You're so practical. They can get to know each other later, after they get married."

"And if they don't like what they find, they can get divorced?"

Jackson looked at the two of us as his fiancée said. "You and Alex are so serious about marriage. It's just a contract."

"And you're getting married," I reminded her.

She looked at me and then at Jackson. "I'm leaving," he said. "You can think about it."

"Look what you started!" she yelled at me as he walked out the door. "You ruined my life. I hate you."

Maya walked in then. "Marie, just shut up. You've woken both of the boys up and I can't handle their screaming."

"I'm leaving!" Marie screamed as she slammed her way out of my apartment.

* * *

I went to the bedroom and picked up Tony to help my sister. I made him a bottle and was walking around the apartment with him when Joanna called me. "Is it true you're going to marry Liam Walters?" she asked when I picked up.

"No!" I barked. "It's a fake, a scam. He proposed. I said no. He's convinced that I'm just playing with him and given time and the right encouragement I'll say yes. But it's not going to happen."

"He's an asshole," she said. "He cheated on Rebecca and he's cheating on you now. He's messing around with Penny; Nancy's seen him. And she's heard him bragging about it. He's going to marry you to be a mother to his kids and for your trust fund from your mom. But he's more interested in Penny. She's good in bed."

I sighed. "Thanks, Joanna. I'd love to chat more but I'm busy with my nephew and I need to get ready for family Thanksgiving."

"We should talk later."

"We will," I said. "I promise."

* * *

Someone was knocking on the door just then, so I hung up and put my phone down on the counter. Then I opened the door and saw Alex there. "I took the Sprite to Sophia and as I was doing it, I got thinking."

"Sounds painful," I replied.

He laughed. "It was. Do you mind if I come in?"

I shook my head and we went into the living room. I settled down with my nephew in my lap. "What's up?" I asked, running my fingers through Tony's fine blond hair.

"I've been an asshole to you. I've done it for eight years and I don't deserve you. But the thing is that the reason I've been treating you like shit is actually quite simple. I never got over you. I've loved you for about ten years and I've treated you horribly. I never should have treated anyone like that. I loved you and I treated you like you were lower than dirt. But I love you. I do not deserve you but I'm still going to ask you this question." He reached into his pocket and took out a small black box. "I don't deserve you and you should say no. But I'm still going to ask. You're an amazing woman. You love children. You smell like sugar cookies and you sing like Pocahontas. You have a brilliant mind. You're beautiful. And you're far too good for me. Anna Clarissa, will you marry me?"

"Holy shit," was the first phrase out of my mouth.

"Okay so we'd have to work on the religion issue," he said.

I laughed. "You can raise the kids Greek Orthodox and I'll try to explore things. I'm open to the idea of religion now."

"Does that mean you'll marry me?"

I smiled and nodded. "Alex, am I crying again?"

He moved over to the couch and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "You are, but it's okay. You're still beautiful. But will you marry me?"

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I would love to marry you. Yes, Alex, I will marry you."

"Finally," he said. "Now how am I going to kiss you with that kid in your lap?"

"With great skill and accuracy," he replied.

"I love you, Alexander James Wentworth."

"I love you too, Anna Clarissa Eliot."

And then he kissed me all while Tony kept drinking his bottle.

* * *

A/N: I'm almost done. Please review. I'm stunned I got this one done this fast.


	16. An Anchor to Windward

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. Please keep reviewing. I love all reviews I get. Also, I have decided to work on posting the story that Anna wrote about Gregory and Meghan on here at some point as a modern _Persuasion_.

**Chapter Eleven: An Anchor to Windward**

"_Faith is a force, a powerful force. To me, it's been like an anchor to windward - something that's seen me through troubled times and some personal tragedies and also through the good times and success and the happy times."_

_-Gregory Peck_

* * *

She said yes. Anna agreed to marry me and this time I knew it was for real. How did I know that? She told me, "I'm not changing my mind this time. I'm not going to let someone talk me out of this. I love you and I want to marry you. I wanted to marry you eight years ago and I let Sarah and Wally talk me out of this. But I'm done with that blind obedience to them. I love you and I'm going to marry you. Nothing could ever persuade me to not marry you."

We spent Thanksgiving with Harry and Sophia. Once she called Wally and told him that she wasn't engaged to Liam but rather to me, he told her she could go to hell. Sarah told Anna she never wanted to see her again. "You had the chance of a lifetime and you blew it for this doctor. What is wrong with you? You keep screwing up your life by choosing that boy."

"I love him. He's twenty-eight years old and responsible," Anna had replied. "I'm going to marry him and you can't stop me."

"You barely know him. You haven't seen him since you were twenty years old. How do you know he's the one for you?"

"I just do. Trust me."

"_Why do you want to marry me?" Meghan asked Greg. "I'm an idiot. I listen to my stepmother and my dad even when I shouldn't. I make stupid decisions because I'm afraid all the time."_

"_You're not an idiot. You're a beautiful, confident, intelligent woman. And it's not stupid to listen to your parents. I ask my parents for advice a lot."_

"_You ask your parents for advice," she replied. "Mine just give it to me. _

_Greg smiled. "You're cute when you're frustrated."_

"_I dumped you for no reason!"_

"_And I still love you. I'm still willing to marry you for all the same reasons that were applicable the first time I asked you." He took her hands firmly in his and squeezed them. "Meghan, it's been only a few months. And while I was angry with you at first, I've realized what your family is like. Your dad is controlling. He wants you to be the perfect politician's daughter."_

"_He wants me to marry a Democrat. He already lost Connor to the 'Dark Side'." _

"_Well then come join him on that Dark Side. We have cookies."_

_She fell into his arms laughing. He ran his fingers through her dark brown hair. "Do you have sugar cookies?" she asked looking up into his deep blue eyes._

"_We have whatever kind of cookies you want."_

_Meghan snuggled up against her fiancé's body. "I knew there was something I liked about the vast right-wing conspiracy."_

"_The actual reason we are the vast right-wing conspiracy is the amazing cookies we make."_

_She laughed and he started tickling which only increased the laughter. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. _

"_You're crazy," she replied. "Now stop tickling!"_

"_Not until you tell me that you love me."_

"_You don't play-ouch!-fair, Mr. Fenton," she squealed as she squirmed. _

"_Tell me that you love me."_

"_You know that I love you!"_

"_So you do love me?"_

_She smiled. "Of course I love you." He stopped tickling and she pressed her forehead against his. "I've loved you for a long time." _

"_I'm that amazing?" _

_Meghan nodded and Greg pulled her close against his chest. "It's been a long road, hasn't it?"_

I helped Anna finish her book. Once the two of us were able to be together, it was possible for Meghan and Gregory to be together. They really were a fascinating couple with an amazing depth and history. And they were an amazing reflection of my relationship with my Annabelle. I couldn't believe I'd almost let this amazing girl slip through my fingers. She was what I'd always wanted. She was patient with me. And she tried to take care of me in an amazingly sexy way.

"You know you can work on this later," she whispered as she sat down next to me on my sister's couch. I was sitting on Anna's laptop working on editing Gregory's parts of the book.

"I know," I replied, kissing her cheek. "But I've got some quiet down time and that doesn't happen much."

We were babysitting her nephews the next day and that promised to be a loud venture. Maya and Kevin had decided to maintain their ties to us despite Marie's decision to hate us for supposedly calling Gretchen Ben's rebound girl and Wally's dismissal of Anna from the family for agreeing to marry a lowly pediatric neurologist. Beyond the fact that I'm not some fancy New England blueblood, I've never been completely sure what Sarah and Wally had against me. Maybe they didn't like the way I looked. Or maybe they really just didn't want what was best for Anna. It might be cocky of me to think that I am what is best for her, especially after the shitty way I've treated her. But we've managed to work things out.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Of the book?" I asked.

"No, of my nose job," she deadpanned.

I looked at her and tweaked her nose. "I liked the old one. You know that's the one the kids are going to get. Otherwise they'd be stuck with my Greek nose."

"Yeah, see I like your Greek nose. Now what did you think of my book?"

"Pushy woman," I replied. "My mother told me to beware of pushy women."

"Your mother likes me."

"Yeah well I don't know what she'll think when she finds out we're engaged."

She rolled her eyes and leaned her back against my left arm. "Umm, honey, you called her after we told Harry and Sophia and she was fine with it."

"She's still on a high from finding out that Sophia is pregnant. Wait until she realizes that we really did call her and tell her that we were back together and we're engaged."

"You talk too much, Greek Boy. Read my book."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Can you please give Gregory brown eyes? I just think it's a better idea."

"You just like the idea of being immortalized in a book."

"Meghan gets your green eyes; Greg should get my eyes."

"They're characters in a book, not our children."

"Yeah, all of our children will have my eyes."

She turned and looked me at me with those fierce green eyes. "You're being cocky again."

"You know you love it."

"Don't you dare start tickling me again, Wentworth," she threatened. "I'll hurt you!"

"What is a little thing like you going to do to me?"

"I've got my ways."

"I love you," I said sweetly.

"I love you too," she replied. "But I'm not going to let you tickle me whenever you like."

I stuck my lower lip out at her but she just started tapping it. "What are you doing?"

"Just checking to see if it would make a good helicopter landing pad," Anna said with raised eyebrows.

"You're weird."

"Oh shut up."

So I kissed her. It shut her up and I wasn't talking or tickling her.

* * *

My sister was stunned to discover that Anna was the girl to whom I'd been engaged when I was in college. "You're the girl?" she asked at dinner on Friday night. "You two were engaged and then your family made you split up. My parents and Nicholas used to mention you, but someone didn't want us to talk about that girl."

I smiled. "I was heart-broken and I became very bitter."

"We all know," Anna told me, placing her hand in mine. "But it's okay now."

"So do you two have any plans yet?" Harry asked.

"Well, we're babysitting Josh and Tony tomorrow," Anna replied.

"Oh that's good," he said. "But I was wondering more about for the longer-range future, for the wedding and things like that."

"Anna has to stay in New York until June for work," I explained. "So we were thinking that she'd move back to Los Angeles over the summer and we'd look at getting married next Christmas."

"A Christmas wedding, that sounds wonderful," Sophia said.

My fiancée nodded. "We were thinking about using navy blue and silver and really doing the whole winter thing."

"You could use white and red roses," my sister suggested. "And decorate the church with red and white poinsettias."

Anna's eyes lit up and the two women kept discussing wedding plans. "They could do this all night," Harry muttered to me. "When we were planning our wedding, your mother and Sophia spent hours planning minor details. I didn't know that wedding favors mattered that much. But I suppose that was the way my first wedding was too."

Sophia and Harry had met about ten years earlier. He was about twenty-five years older than her but somehow they managed to make it work. They had met through a friend of hers from college whose father was good friends with Harry. My brother-in-law was fifty at the time, about the same age as our father, and he was divorced with two children; he and his first wife, Denise, had divorced about eight years earlier. Their kids weren't much younger than Sophia, a fact which was weird to me but my sister was fine with hit. My parents were skeptical of him the first several times Sophia brought him home. But eventually they grew used to the fact that their daughter wasn't thirty yet but her boyfriend was a member of the AARP. And now they were expecting a baby; my brother-in-law was going to be eighty when the kid was twenty. Heck, his kids would probably make him a grandfather in the near future. But my sister loves him so I've learned to live with him. And he's a good guy; he's just old enough to be my father.

* * *

After going to Liturgy with Anna on Sunday, Harry, Sophia, and I went back to California. Anna was planning to come out to Los Angeles as soon as her winter break started. I loved seeing, spending time with her. And we were finally engaged. I could marry this woman. She had forgiven me the sins of my past and I accepted her family for what they truly were. I didn't understand why they didn't want her with me but I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that I wouldn't let them run her life anymore. I wasn't going to let my wife be dragged off to babysit or settle some urgent crisis that really had nothing to do with her. I wasn't about to let someone else tell her where to live or work. My wife was going to live her own life. I wasn't going to try to control Anna the way her family had.

* * *

I spent the next seven months learning how hard long-distance relationships really are. I saw that maybe it was better for us that we didn't try to do this when we were younger. Being older and having more advanced methods of communication made our lives somewhat easier. Thankfully we both had the same cell phone provider so we were able to have long conversations for free. I loved talking to her, hearing about her life. She told amazing stories about the crazy things first-graders did and said. And I told her stories about my life. I told her about pediatric neurology. "The human brain is beyond fascinating," I told her one day.

"That's what you think," she replied. "I think it's just a bunch of gray matter."

"Ha-ha," I said. "You're so funny, Miss Eliot. But one day, you could have a child who will need my talents but I won't help you."

"Honey, they don't let doctors operate on their own family members."

"We'll adopt."

"They'd still be your kids."

"You, my dear, are no fun."

"And that, Alexander, is why you are marrying me."

I had to laugh. "I'm marrying you because you're no fun."

"Well, that, and the fact that I'm cute," was Anna's reply.

"Anna, you're one of the more amazing people I've known in my life."

"I love you, Alex." Her voice was suddenly soft and serious and amazing. I lived for moments like this. I loved hearing her voice and knowing that she was thinking about me. The only times that could even compare with these were the ones when I was at work doing something that just made a kid or their parent smile, when I felt like I was saving the world. I felt like I was Superman or Batman. And everyone knows that every little boy secretly wants to be a superhero. We want to save the princess and the world in one fell swoop. And everyone knows that pediatric neurologists get to save the world every day. Or at least we wish we could. But neurology is like most other things in life. Some days are amazing but most of your days are rough. Kids die; you don't always shave all the answers. More often than not if the kids have cancer, they're doomed. And all you can do is promise the parents that you'll make the kid as comfortable as you can for as long as you can. And you watch them slip away and it hurts so much because they've gotten a grip on your heart even though you try to stay professional and serious with them. I worked with a doctor who had once told me that it only gets harder when you have your own children. "One day some little girl will come in here with some terminal illness and she'll look just like your own sweet daughter at home. And you'll run to the bathroom to throw up and cry as soon as you leave the room. Because while you'll try by God to stay as strong as you can while you're in that room, she just looks too much like your own Abby back at home."

I'd just nodded. But I knew that day was drawing closer and closer for me. I was getting married in December. And someday Anna and I would have children. Don't get me wrong; I want to be a dad. But I don't want to look down at some little kid in a hospital bed and see my own child's face. But that's the price I pay for being a doctor.

* * *

In February, Gretchen and Ben got married. The wedding was right after Valentine's Day and the whole affair was sweeter than cotton candy. But Ben was happy and that was the important thing. They got married on a beach and then went off to Paris for their honeymoon over her spring break. She'd be graduating from college at the end of April. I thought she was crazy to get married before she graduated. But what did I know? I was just a twenty-eight-year-old doctor who had been through the roller coaster of love. I was finally where I wanted to be but I'd been through the wringer.

Anna didn't come to the wedding; she was too busy with school. "But I'll come out and visit you as soon as I can. Do you think I like being stuck in New York? Wally, Liz, and Sarah are here."

Penny and Liam had run off together shortly after Thanksgiving. They were traveling the globe while nannies paid for with money inherited from Liam's first wife took care of their children. It had to be a rotten way to grow up but no one asked me what I thought. In the aftermath, Sarah and Wally had gotten together. Anna said it was disturbing and the final straw. "She used to rant against him. She would tell me all the ways he hurt my mom. And now she's dating him. Were the years of ranting the result of repressed feelings? Did she secretly want what my mom had?"

"Do I look like the kind of person who knows that kind of stuff?"

"I can't see you, bud. You're three thousand miles away."

"Well, I'm tall, dark hair, extremely handsome," I told her. "I'm a doctor and I work out at least three times a week."

"And you're incredibly cocky. I think we discuss that about twice a week."

"Someone has to keep my ego in check."

"So that's why you're marrying me. I knew there had to be a good reason. A guy like you doesn't just agree to marry a girl like me without some kind of a reason."

And then her insecurities came pouring back out again. Wally Eliot had beaten her down as a teenager, telling her she wasn't as pretty or worthwhile as her older sister. And then I hadn't understood that about her our first time around. The end of our relationship had taught her that she was worthless and useless. Her existence, in her eyes, was simply to be used and discarded. She existed for the pleasure and at the pleasures of men. She had dated Liam with that attitude. She thought that she was one of those girls who had been created because someone had to marry those worthless bottom-feeders. I wanted to wipe away those illusions from her mind. She was beautiful and valuable. She was one in a million. I couldn't explain the luck I felt in being able to call her mine. But she didn't know what I saw when I looked at her. She didn't see the same woman that I saw. And that made me sad. I wanted her to see the Anna Eliot that I saw.

* * *

My niece, Arianna Elizabeth Croft, was born May 16, 2009. She had big blue eyes and light brown hair. And she was adorable. I know I'm biased because I'm her uncle but she really was as cute as a button. And she had a little button nose, which was even cuter. She apparently looked a lot like Harry's daughter, Nina, did when she was born. Of course, Nina was thirty now and married. But she still had light brown hair and blue eyes. I rarely saw Nina and Grayson, but when their new baby sister was born, they both arrived to greet her and rant to anyone who would listen about their evil mother. According to her children, Harry's ex-wife was evil incarnate. "She deserved to be divorced," Grayson told me one day. "She treated Dad like shit. She wasn't cut out to be a Navy wife but she refused to admit weakness. So she just whined and moaned her way through their marriage."

My brother and his wife came down from Seattle with their two daughters to meet their new cousin; Nick and Stasia were expecting a new baby in October. "Maybe I'll finally get a grandson," my mother said one evening. "I have three beautiful, wonderful granddaughters and no grandsons. Alex, I want grandsons."

"I'm not even married yet!" I protested.

"You're getting married in seven months. You and Anna need to give me grandsons. You tell that fiancée of yours that your mother wants grandsons."

I smiled; I wondered how Anna would take that decree. She would probably inform me that it was the guy who determined the gender of a child, not the woman.

Anna moved to Los Angeles at the end of June. She was going to live with the Palmers until we got married. Mike and Natalie had a small three-bedroom house and were more than willing to let her live there, especially if she'd babysit on occasion. Anna loved little Stevie Palmer. The little guy was a hoot. Like we had back in college, I occasionally helped her babysit. I loved going over to Mike and Natalie's house and playing with Stevie. He couldn't walk yet but he was crawling everywhere and he just loved attention. Anna was great with Stevie; well, she was good with little kids in general. Arianna adored her; she would just lie in her arms and stare at her. Someday soon she would make a wonderful mother. She loved kids and they adored her.

* * *

And A Strange and Bitter Romance was published in September. To no one's surprise except Anna's, it was an overnight success. People loved this story about two underdogs overcoming everything for a chance at an amazing life with an amazing love. "Is it really that good?" Anna asked one night when we were having dinner with Mike and Natalie.

"Umm, yes," Natalie replied. "It's quite possibly one of the best books that I've ever read."

"How much do you read?" the author responded.

"She's read more books than could fit in some libraries," Mike told Anna.

"I guess you're right," she conceded. "But do you really think it's that good?"

"It's amazing," Mike said. "You really make people feel like they know Meghan and Gregory. I felt like they were real people, people I could relate to."

"You got to know them reading the book. It was like getting to know a friend," Natalie said.

Anna smiled and looked down; she always did that when she was feeling shy or embarrassed. I squeezed her hand. "It was amazing," I told her.

"You're biased. For one, it's about you. Secondly, you helped edit it. And thirdly, you're my fiancé. You have to like the book."

"But I liked it before I knew it was about us or we were engaged. When it was simply a book my sister wanted me to read for a friend, it was still amazing."

"Did you know who wrote it at first?"

I nodded. "I had found an earlier draft of it in a closet of the bedroom I was staying in at Kellynch."

"You never told me that."

"How did you want me to tell you that? I didn't want to read it. I just left it sitting there for months. It's probably still there."

"But you never told me you had seen it."

"I looked at it once and then put it back. It wasn't a major event in my life."

"So it wasn't like you read the whole thing and never told me."

I shook my head. "No, I never read more than the first page or so until Sophia asked me to read it in August. And then I loved it."

"And then she made you edit it," Mike said.

"Actually, he volunteered," Anna admitted.

"You volunteered?" Mike Palmer was stunned. "I'd never volunteer to edit a book about myself. I'd be too scared of what someone might put in there."

Natalie laughed. "Does someone have a few secrets they don't want the world to know?"

"You've been married to me for about five years and you don't know the answer to that question yet?"

"Will we be like that when we've been married for five years?" I asked Anna.

She shrugged. "Those two have always been crazy. And they've known each other since childhood."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Alex, you worry too much."

"I'm Greek."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Greek people worry a lot. You've met my mother."

"You're only half-Greek."

"So I only worry half as much as my mother does."

She sighed. "I give up."

"Finally, it took you long enough."

"And they're worried about bickering like an old married couple in five years," Mike said.

"They're already worse than us," Natalie replied. "And we've been married for five long years."

"Well, they say the first seven years are the hardest," her husband told her.

She nodded. "We're five for seven, so far so good."

"That sounds so romantic when you put it like that."

Anna and I were laughing at the two of them. "Are they always like this?" I whispered in her ear.

She smiled. "That's the best part of their charm."

"They think we're charming," Mike remarked.

"We're so charming they should write a book about us," Natalie added. "What do you think, Miss Published Author? Would America want to read a book about Mike and Natalie Palmer?"

Anna leaned her head against my chest. "I think they would. They have a fascinating story about the power of love and the way love can grow and change over the course of time."

"So you should tell it," Mike told her. "But change all the names to protect the young and dumb."

His wife smiled. "And we get to edit and approve the book." Shooting her husband a look, she added, "And Mike, you're not volunteering for it; you're being volunteered."

"I'll see what I can come up with," my fiancée told them.

"But don't tell people that it's about it."

"But make sure you include her crazy family."

Anna laughed as Natalie sighed. "My family isn't that crazy. We're very well organized for a family of eleven children. And besides, you love my family. In fact, if it weren't for my family, you never would have met me."

"A fact Andrew will never let me forget," Mike replied.

"They really are cute," Anna told me. "I want to be like them when we've been married for five years."

I kissed her nose. "We'll see what happens."

* * *

A/N: Please review! I'm planning on wrapping things up in the next chapter. I just wanted to give Alex a chance to give us a little of his perspective of things.


	17. Success

A/N: I don't own _Persuasion_. Please review. I love all reviews I get and I adore the people who write them.

**Chapter Twelve: Success**

"_Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same."_

_-Audrey Hepburn_

* * *

We got married the Saturday after Christmas 2009. But before he could marry me, Alex had to face the Baker family of Columbus, Ohio. Natalie's family had basically adopted me as their own and after my dad's refusal to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, I had asked Dr. Baker to give me away. He had agreed to do so on the condition that I brought Alex to Columbus for Thanksgiving. So, the day before Thanksgiving we flew to Ohio with Mike, Natalie, and Stevie. Flying with a baby is interesting enough but I wasn't responsible for him. I get to play with him but I get to pass him back to Nat when he started fussing. This is what being an aunt is supposed to feel like. When I spent time with Tony and Josh I was basically playing mother. Maya was currently pregnant with her third child, who would be a girl, and shoving her two older children off on Alex and me. Despite the fact that we were both working and trying to plan a wedding, my sister apparently believed that we had more than enough time to care for her children. She was busy preparing a nursery for her first daughter and shopping for designer baby clothes; she didn't have time for her sons. And she was royally pissed at me for going to Columbus for Thanksgiving and abandoning her.

* * *

"So this is the infamous fiancé," were the first words out of Dr. Steve Baker's mouth when he opened the front door to his house.

"I'm Alex Wentworth," my fiancé said extending his right hand.

"Steve Baker," Natalie's father replied. "They tell me you're a doctor."

"Yes sir," Alex said as we followed Dr. Baker into the living room. "I'm doing my residency at Los Angeles Children's Hospital in pediatric neurology."

"Interesting, I'm a pediatrician. I'm in private practice, but working with kids is really rewarding."

They went off on a medical tangent while Natalie and I went into the kitchen to talk to her mom. Mrs. Baker claimed her grandson from us immediately before we were attacked by the various Baker children who had stories to tell us while we got ready for dinner. "Anna, you get to help set the table," Cassie informed me.

"Who decided that?" I asked her. "I wanted to help Isaac with the salad."

"That's Aaron's job. He's become an expert at making his own salad dressings. You should try his balsamic vinaigrette."

"I'm making it for dinner, moron!" Aaron called from the pantry. "Anna, I promise that it's fantastic; you'll love it."

"Hey, Mom, when are Emma and Andrew getting in?" Natalie asked.

Her mom smiled. "He called me about half an hour ago and said they were an hour away."

"Where's Mel?" I asked.

"Carrie is picking Greg, Mel, and Norah from the airport," Aaron said as he walked back into the kitchen. "They should be back in about thirty minutes."

"Grandchildren," Mrs. Baker sighed. "I have three beautiful grandchildren."

"So when is Mary going to get married and have a couple kids?" Cassie asked.

"When she meets the right guy," Natalie told her little sister.

"And when is that going to be?" Elana asked

I laughed as Mrs. Baker sighed. "Lana, let your sisters grow at their own rate. You're nine years old; you shouldn't be pressuring your older sisters into marriage."

"Where is Mary?" Natalie asked.

"She died," Aaron deadpanned. "It was messy; Mom doesn't like to talk about it."

"Aaron Thomas Baker, I can kill you," his mother said.

He made a face at her. "Isaac started it."

"And you could end it," Natalie said.

"You spend too much time around Mom."

"I'm not going to argue with you."

"I miss Melissa," Elana announced. She was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island shelling peas.

"She'll be here soon, Bug," Isaac said coming into the kitchen. "Natalie, you're home! Where's that guy?"

"What guy?" she asked. "Are you talking about my husband?"

"Yeah, that's the one! Did he come with you?"

"You're weird," she told him, giving him a hug. "But yes, he's here. He's in the living room with Dad and Anna's fiancé, Alex."

"Anna!" he said, giving me a hug. "How are you? Will I like your fiancé?"

Isaac was twenty-one at the time and very exuberant about everything in life. But that was typical of the Baker family; they were a loud, energetic family. They were loving and cheerful and always willing to listen. In short, they were the opposite of my family. "Go ask your dad; I think he's giving him the fifth degree," I told Isaac after hugging him and messing up his dark blonde curls.

"Excellent, so where's my cutest nephew? He and I are going to aid in the interrogation. Aaron, care to join with me?"

"We're on salad duty in twenty minutes and I have to make more dressing."

"So we interrogate for twenty minutes and then make salad and dressing together," the older brother said as he took his fourteen-month-old nephew from his mother.

"I'm game," was the nineteen-year-old Aaron's response.

* * *

Dinner was a loud, rambunctious affair. The Bakers have eleven children, three of whom are married and have children, and another two have significant others. There were twenty-three people in the house scattered around three different tables. There was plenty of noise and conversation and I loved it. Andrew's girlfriend, Emma, was fantastic. She was warm and bubbly; she teased him and complimented his personality perfectly. "And she understands sarcasm," Andrew said.

"My mom and one of my sisters don't get sarcasm at all," Emma explained. "So when Andrew's being ridiculous, Mom and Meg get so confused. They don't know if he's being serious or not. It can get pretty out of control."

"Thankfully, her older sister and her brother understand me."

"Is that your brother who married their cousin?" I asked.

She nodded. "Ben's my only brother. We also have two sisters, one is older than me and the other is younger."

"I'm the middle sister too," I told her. "But I don't have any brothers."

"You can borrow any of mine at your leisure," Natalie said. "Well, you can't take Andrew. But the rest of them are fair game."

"I'll take Isaac and Jacob."

"But I'm not done with dinner!" was eleven-year-old Jacob's protest. "Can she take me later?"

The table exploded in laughter. "Don't worry, Jacob," Isaac told him. "We're not going until later."

"Why can't I come?" Philip, who was sixteen, protested. "I'd be a great brother."

"Your sisters need you," I told him.

"You are a great brother," Carrie told her younger brother. "And your real sisters don't want to let you go."

"But you'll let us go?" Isaac asked.

"We have five brothers," she replied. "Anna has none; she needs you."

"Alex, do you have any brothers?" Andrew asked.

"One," my fiancé told him. "He's a couple years older than me."

"She's getting a brother!" Elana said. "She doesn't need ours."

I laughed. "Don't worry; I won't take yours."

"So, Alex, what kind of doctor are you?" Andrew asked.

"Pediatric neurology," he replied.

"Are you serious?" Emma had been talking to Mary and Melissa and suddenly joined ours. "My brother's old roommate is doing his residency in pediatric neurology at the University of Michigan Hospital. And his name is Alex."

"That's creepy," I said.

"Yeah it is," she said.

"Wait," Natalie said. "Is this the guy who was Ben's best man at the wedding?"

"Yeah," Emma replied.

"Wow, they even kind of look alike."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

Andrew nodded. "They're about the same height. They both have dark hair and dark eyes. But Alex Kilpatrick is skinnier."

"He's nothing but skin and bones," Emma told us. "He looks like a runner but he really just has a fast metabolism."

* * *

That conversation might seem insignificant or stupid. But for Alex, it would become extremely important. Six years later, my husband was appointed the head of pediatric neurology at Los Angeles Children's Hospital and hired Emma's friend, Dr. Alex Kilpatrick, to work on his team. By 2021, the two of them were considered leaders and pioneers in the field of pediatric neurology. And my Alex never would have known anything about Dr. Kilpatrick beyond reading a few research articles of his here and there if it hadn't been for our visit to the Bakers' house for Thanksgiving 2009. And I was glad of that connection as well. Alex's wife, Hannah, became one of my closest friends. I still had Natalie and Joanna, but when my husband was conquering the field of pediatric neurology, it was nice to have someone who knew what it felt like to raise children while your husband was travelling the world telling people about the latest advances in pediatric neurology and our understanding of the developing brain.

* * *

Alex and I were married in the Saint Sophia Greek Orthodox Cathedral in Los Angeles the Saturday after Christmas 2009. Natalie was my matron of honor and Matt Hughes was Alex's best man. His brother, Nicholas, performed the ceremony. My other bridesmaids were Maya and Sophia. Alex had Ben Williamson and Rob Egan as his other groomsman. We had a small wedding, just family and close friends. It was perfect. Our colors were navy blue and silver. I was determined not to have the traditional Christmas colors of red and green as my wedding colors; that was just too stereotypical for me. So we had a beautiful wedding with white calla lilies and a very simple wedding and reception.

My dad was there with Sarah; and Liz was there. Gretchen and Ben were expecting a baby and she was being overly dramatic about the whole thing throughout the reception. She would tell anyone who would listen how fat she was. She was also regaling various people with tales of the time she spent dating Alex. "But Ben is so much better. He's hotter and he's just a cooler guy," she told my grandmother Radcliffe.

My grandmother sniffed. "Well, I prefer Alex and I think he's good for my Anna."

Gretchen tossed her hair and sighed. "Well, it's a matter of opinion. I love Ben and I couldn't be happier."

"Well, that's good for you. But Anna and Alex are perfect for each other. And today is their day. So quit being such an attention whore."

"Did your grandmother just say 'whore'?" Andrew Baker asked me as we walked past my grandmother and Gretchen.

I nodded. "Let's just say that my grandma isn't as nice and proper as she likes people to think."

He smiled. "That's great."

"Everyone likes a badass grandma better," I told her.

Andrew burst out laughing. "I do not have a badass grandmother. My grandmothers are both very proper and refined old ladies."

"Well, I have one badass grandma and one dead grandma."

"No Christmas presents for you from that one," he replied.

"Nope, and she left most of her money to my older sister when she died." I smiled. "But Grandma Radcliffe likes me more and she has more money."

* * *

I married the man of my dreams-albeit eight years later than we had originally planned. But things worked out for the best. Our first child was born about thirteen months after our wedding. Brenna Charlotte Wentworth was born on January 14, 2011. Two and a half years later, James Michael Wentworth was born in the summer of 2013. Three years later, Leah Francesca joined the family; and she was followed two years later by David Alexander Wentworth. Our final addition the family came in 2024. Alex and I were both forty-five years old and not planning on having another baby. But right before Christmas 2024, Katharine Rose Wentworth put in an appearance. She was beautiful, just like her siblings. She had the same dark brown hair that all our children had. We had two daughters and one son with Alex's dark eyes while Leah and David had my green eyes. James and David were both tall like their father. Brenna, Leah, and Katie were taller than I was, but they weren't unusually tall for women. But we had five good-looking children. And we were happy together. Oh sure we had material success-a great house, nice cars, fancy clothes if we wanted, good schools for the kids-but we were also a happy family. Alex and I loved each other and our kids.

We didn't have much contact with Wally, Sarah, or Liz. But we were fine with that. We saw Maya and her family pretty regularly. She and Kevin didn't end up getting divorced although Ben and Gretchen did end up in divorce court. Maya and Kevin ended up with four children, three boys and a girl while Ben and Gretchen had two daughters before their divorce. They both remarried; he only once while she took six or seven trips down the aisle and had children with four of her seven husbands. Eliot and Penelope never married although they spent a great deal of time together. Harry and Sophia ended up with three children together.

And I spent at least a few weeks every year on the _New York Times _Best Seller List. Alex had a very successful career. And we had amazing kids and great friends and good family. What more did we need in life? We had a romance that was much more than any fairy tale and a blessed life together.

THE END

* * *

A/N: Please review! Thank you for reviewing and reading all these chapters. I hope you enjoyed it. And I'm going to try to get going on the Meghan/Gregory story.


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